WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE?

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WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 11:50:54 AM

DominaErotica00

Posts: 46
Joined: 6/8/2004
From: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Status: offline

We all started from somewhere...In your life's experience when did you realize that you were submissive? What was your first experience like when you came to terms with this? Our kinky, deep inner thoughts and fetishes all started with a person, place, thing or personal experience..maybe called an epiphany in your journey....To some it helps to maintain a sense of necessary balance in ones life, to be in control one minute and out of control the next. What I called flippin' the script. As a Dominatrix that loves to delve and innerstand the psychology of the B&D S/M Lifestyle, I am always interested in knowing what makes those on their knees tick.

FREE YOUR MIND & THE REST WILL FOLLOW.....................

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Post #: 1

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 11:55:12 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It is against the rules of the site to discuss things prior to the age of majority even if it is yourself you are discussing. This question cannot therefore be answered by most people without violating the TOS.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DominaErotica00)

Post #: 2

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 12:03:22 PM

zakkan

Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline

When I first came into contact with BDSM (yes, in porn), I felt it was quite intriguing really. Then, as I thought more and more about it, I came to see how exciting it might be to play like that. After that, it was a matter of deciding whether you liked to whip or be whipped.

I was quite disgusted with myself at first-16 yrs old, peer pressure, etc-so I sort of supressed it, till about a year ago, when

_____________________________

Silence! I keel you!

(in reply to DominaErotica00)

Post #: 3

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 12:14:36 PM

subsong

Posts: 77
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

Just about 20 , in bed with a casual vanilla boyfriend - when in the midst of passion , he suddenly pinned my hands down ..... WHOA !!! Major sparks , super intensity , that I don't think he was even aware of causing . But DAMN , I thought , what WAS that , that just occurred !? "Gotta get me more of that stuff !!!" , said I . Being an endlessly curious type - then came the exploratative years of finding out not only what that experience was all about , but a whole lot more !

Never looked back - I'd found me !

< Message edited by subsong -- 9/12/2008 12:16:51 PM >

(in reply to zakkan)

Post #: 4

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 12:44:48 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Is it the pedant in me, or would this thread (sans the all-cap title) have been more appropriately started on the "Ask a Submissive/Slave" board?

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I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to subsong)

Post #: 5

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 12:46:33 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

I'd always had the feelings but thought I was deficient; not secure enough, not really strong enough, etc., elsewise, why want a powerful man in my life? One day in a vanilla chat room a man told me he was dominant...I googled...and the rest is history.

Thank goodness for that man.

candystripper

(in reply to subsong)

Post #: 6

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 12:52:46 PM

mystsshykitty

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

First time for me, My Girlfriend and i were making out. Really steamy stuff, she whispered in my ear, "do not move while i...." needless to say was the best 2 hour bj of my life. then God gave birth to the internet (yes i'm aging myself). and There in an aol picture sharing chat room, i was sent a pic of a woman tied up in a rope dress, naked and vulnerable.. that when i knew i was into bondage. the submission was learned from further surfing and exploring with my then Girlfriend now Wife..

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 7

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 1:03:09 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Mine has had "submissive tendencies" for her whole life but it only really crystallized into something at the age of 51. Before then, there were no words or even really concepts in her head. There were no "bdsm fantasies". There was no partner with which she could explore such things even if she had known that she wanted to. She didn't "always know that she needed/wanted to submit". For the both of us, this is brand new at mid-life.

(in reply to mystsshykitty)

Post #: 8

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 1:03:28 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

I had some early explorations in my early 20s with both boys and girls, then I repressed it all for 5 years, then counseling, acceptance, and private expression for the next 15 years, and now here I am bright and shiny ready to be spanked on the White House lawn...

(in reply to mystsshykitty)

Post #: 9

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 1:12:43 PM

alittleevil

Posts: 235
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaErotica00

We all started from somewhere...In your life's experience when did you realize that you were submissive? What was your first experience like when you came to terms with this? Our kinky, deep inner thoughts and fetishes all started with a person, place, thing or personal experience..maybe called an epiphany in your journey....To some it helps to maintain a sense of necessary balance in ones life, to be in control one minute and out of control the next. What I called flippin' the script. As a Dominatrix that loves to delve and innerstand the psychology of the B&D S/M Lifestyle, I am always interested in knowing what makes those on their knees tick.

Greetings,
I've had submissive fantasies and sadomasochistic fantasies for as long as i've been aware of them. My upbringing/culture encouraged my tendencies to defer, to please, to seek authority and to be responsive to strong males. Having said that though, those responsible for my upbringing would have been equally satisfied with me had i not followed that trend--as long as i remained deferent and respectful to those in authority. I just never felt the need or drive to be otherwise. I've always been attracted to men who were in some way dominant. I failed at striving to be an "equal partner" in my first marriage, which led to its downfall. It was a good friend who introduced me to the world of D/s, SM, and people who lived this way. After listening to her experiences, and those of others, all the pieces kinda fell into place for me: the things i found erotic, the sexual cravings i had suppressed, and was able to define and embrace myself and what i sought in a man, eventually figuring out that i am most at peace and utterly in my place at the feet and under the authority of a strong male.

My best to you,
aj

(in reply to DominaErotica00)

Post #: 10

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 2:11:05 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

I knew i was submissive before I knew there was a classification, a lifestyle or what kink was.

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(in reply to alittleevil)

Post #: 11

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 4:37:43 PM

Gleegal67

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

Maybe I had an inkling when I asked my soon to be "cherry-popper" to please tie me to the log, next to the fire, on the beach...first. Been hooked ever since...not stating what age...because I don't want to piss off the TOS Gods...

_____________________________

~always the gleeful one~

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 12

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 5:02:29 PM

JerryFrankster

Posts: 188
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

I'm just now figuring it out. It seems so obvious now looking back on it. For, let's say about 83% of my life, I have had sexual fantasies about being shrunk to insect size and squished (usually under feet), eaten or kept as a pet by girls. That is to say, this has always been by only sexual fantasy. I never think about actual (vanilla) sex, and it seems to be the only thing my brain recognizes as "what it really wants".

This has forced me to go looking for an adequate substitute that is actually possible. Submission (well, bottoming technically) is the closest thing that I have found that works for me. While this is at least plausible, the feasibility of it is still pretty limited.

I guess it's a good thing I have other hobbies. Ehhh... lol?

_____________________________

Prosecutors will be Transgressicuted!

(in reply to DominaErotica00)

Post #: 13

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 9:25:01 PM

scarlethiney

Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline

The discovery of my submissiveness was the second or third date with the man who became my Master and later my husband. We had previously talked online about submission for weeks. He patiently answered all my questions and told me what he felt about submission and his role as a dominant. I have to admit at first I thought it was silly and unrealistic. I thought he was silly and deluded but at the same time I was strangely fascinated.
On our third date standing next to my car he abruptly turned me around my back to him,bent me over the hood of my car pinned both my wrists down with one hand, pulled down my panties and spanked me so hard with the other hand it brought tears to my eyes. It left me breathless, scared and exhilarated. I had never experienced pain as anything erotic and was blown away by just how turned on I was. He put me in my car and told a stunned me to go home. I don't think I spoke just nodded dumbfounded and did as he said enjoying my still stinging hiney all the way home.
Talk about confused. How do you discover at 46 that your submissive, love pain, and love being dominated without thinking you've become some freak or lost your mind?
Well, three years later I haven't lost my mind. I have no problem being a freak, am a sensation junkie and still adore being dominated.

scarlet

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"The words 'I am...' are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you." - A.L. Kitselman.

see my profile masterkspet

(in reply to DominaErotica00)

Post #: 14

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 9:44:02 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

Exceptional question.

(Wish I knew).

(Wish I knew sooner).

(in reply to DominaErotica00)

Post #: 15

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/12/2008 9:58:19 PM

lemmebeYourMine

Posts: 136
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline

It is against the rules of the site to discuss things prior to the age of majority even if it is yourself you are discussing. This question cannot therefore be answered by most people without violating the TOS.

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Former profile Celeste43

Even things that don't have anything to do with sex, love, or bdsm? (which granted doesn't apply to the post at hand? )

Being a bit assumptive there aren't we about the age of Majority thing?

Finally in regards to the TOS, If no one states what age they were, we might assume it was before the age of Majority, but assuming is bad and puts an a$$ before u and me, and in several cases we could very well be wrong in our assumptions.

I knew for some time that I was eager to please specifically my parents, any one of authority, and eventually found the urge stronger towards dominant type males. I was raised in a male-oriented household (meaning that the man of the house was in charge).

It wasn't until I blossomed into my sexuality in my twenties, that I realized I was a submissive and discovered the world of BDSM, the event leading to the "epiphany" (was not an ahha moment, but a somewhat slow discovery) was a rejection actually from a guy in college who brought on my sexuality in full force. I found myself seeking release elsewhere, and in a chatroom; on several occasions found myself choosing to play the submissive role in roleplay scenes. Finally a nice enough Dom type pointed me to research materials.

Let's see did I break a TOS rule? Not unless the age of Majority has suddenly been changed.

There's a TOS God? Hmmmmmmm, this goes against all monotheistic teaching's I've ever been schooled in, therefore He/She/They must not exist. OR my teachings are all wrong...... Nah, that couldn't be!!! (Not a comment in regard to religion, except the religion that believes everything you are taught is cold-hard fact).

(in reply to scarlethiney)

Post #: 16

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/13/2008 4:14:42 AM

PrincessJ77

Posts: 372
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: point A
Status: offline

I never knew it was considered submissive. I thought I was a rebel. I'd been taught in school that women should be strong and were equal to men. I believed (and still do) that the man is the head of the family and his wife is the neck that supports the head.

One caveat: I may be submissive, but I am not a doormat.

(in reply to lemmebeYourMine)

Post #: 17

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/13/2008 6:32:33 AM

Ravensnake

Posts: 146
Joined: 8/17/2008
Status: offline

When did I realise I was submissive? About the same time I realised I also had Domme tendencies.

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Dont rattle your sabres at me as an introduction. Be polite and I'll respond in kind.

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Post #: 18

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/13/2008 6:33:04 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

i am just starting to see that i have been submissive all my life, in ways of wanting to serve something greater then me-God/Goddess, and serve a mate. Unfortunately, i ran away from this desire thinking i would be weak.etc. i been fighting myself for a long time, and at times still do, but i am starting to honor this part of me.

oceanwynds

(in reply to PrincessJ77)

Post #: 19

RE: WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE SUBMISSIVE? - 9/13/2008 7:57:07 AM

mixedemotions

Posts: 123
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

Like a lot of you, I've been this way for a very long time. I didnt know that there was more to it until the 90s. That's when I had internet access.

(in reply to oceanwynds)

Post #: 20

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