Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story - 9/13/2008 5:48:51 AM

LittleMissSub

Posts: 46
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline

Hey everyone! I'm back after a long time away, finally got the internet hooked up in my new place.

So I've been dating a wonderful man, who is the epitome of vanilla for about 6 months now. We took it really slow and have had a wonderful time with getting to know one another. We've made a commitment to each other. I've been upfront with my submissive side since we met, and he's expressed a desire to explore since then as well. He's the kind of guy that likes to be in control. We've had some conversations about what submission means to me, and they showed him the depth of this lifestyle and mentality....he had the idea that being submissive played at some kind of game, or was for women (or men) who were weak, self concious and too lazy to make decisions and take accountability for their own actions, placing all the ownus on their partners. You know, the typical view the general population holds. Without even knowing it, he thought we all topped from the bottom! Now he sees things differently. We've enjoyed some light kinky play like spanking, and he really gets off on it. He's generally inexperienced when it comes to sex things, his only long term partner was a real prude! I'm much more experienced. I'm trying to bring him up to speed, but with patience.

I'm wondering if anyone out there has some stories, or tips and pointers for me in relation to the situation I'm in. I'm submissive, but find myself in a teaching position when it comes to this aspect of our relationship. I'm the type of person a lot of people would think is Dominant. In fact, he even said he'd think I'd make a good one! But that's not what satisfies me at the end of the day, day to day life and behind closed doors can be completely different. I'm not worried about scaring him off, I just miss hours long, boundary pushing, open the flood gates scenes sometimes and can't wait to get back to that point.

So as stated, I'd love to hear your stories!

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story - 9/13/2008 6:09:56 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Have you taken him to play parties? I'm thinking real life action may open his mind to what he can do and enjoy with you, and how to push limits safely. When i was introduced to bdsm, the play parties blew my mind - they were so much more than i had imagined.

(in reply to LittleMissSub)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story - 9/13/2008 6:24:42 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Well, in many ways, you are describing my situation. I'm a lot like your new partner Little. From the way you describe things, it sounds to me like everything is going swimmingly well for you and him. Keep up the good work

.

My big advice is to have patience and remember that if he has the type of personality that would do well as a dominant, then a compliant submissive is just the thing to draw that out. Also, don't get too wrapped up in the fact that you are the submissive in a teaching position. Think of it as serving him, just like any other kind of service. Personally, I can't imagine who else I'd prefer to learn from than the woman I am in love with.

I agree with kiwi on the play parties but I would recommend a munch or two first. If he's as vanilla as me, it'd probably do him good to see that the people at the play parties are, in fact, just regular people... just like him.

(in reply to LittleMissSub)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story - 9/13/2008 6:47:36 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

my experience with trying to convert vanilla and/or kinky men into d/s is that it starts out all fine and dandy but ends up being a waste of time with too much drama and high strung emotions...

on the other hand, it appears to work out better for the dominants who try to convert vanilla women.

(in reply to LittleMissSub)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story - 9/13/2008 11:42:26 AM

rook42

Posts: 110
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

I've heard too many horror stories from friends trying to "convert" doms. I'd jump on the bandwagon, and get him introduced to more meanies at the local play party/munch... Maybe they'll rub off :)

From my own experiences, the past 9 months(When I started coming out to public parties) have done a lot for this side of my life. Part of that was just the opportunity to unwind with others who were less restrained about discussing their tastes.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Do You Have A Successful BDSM Introduction Story - 9/14/2008 1:33:19 PM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

Master and i were this situation to begin with. Fortunately Master is very natural in His assertion of His authority and when told He was not only allowed to beat His slave but that she enjoyed it His eyes lit up. (Bless Him)

We found sites like this, erotic literature, fetish porn, shopping online for toys, discussing likes/dislikes/loves/hates etc. helped. Talking to others is also great advice, munches are a less stressful intro to fellow 'kinky people' than a play party (whether public or private) in my personal experience and opinion but your mileage may vary. Of course you could just let him read this thread and then ask him how he'd like to move forwards.....

(in reply to rook42)

Profile

Post #: 6