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Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 3:45:48 PM   
flower2007


Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
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I never felt quite comfortable thinking of myself as a submissive, but of course, "needing" a label, it's usually how I described myself.  One of my friends was talking today about acting out a damsel in distress scenario with his girlfriend, and I realized, wow, that's fit's me a whole lot better!  I'm happy I figured this out, but a little bummed, because I know it'll be hard to find a partner who's into the same thing and doesn't expect a typical submissive. 
No real point, I guess, just have way too much time to sit around and think since it's raining too hard to do anything else. :-)
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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 3:54:10 PM   
MidMichCowboy


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As a barbarian Dom, I love the idea of more and better labels. So what exactly is a damsel in distress.

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 3:57:34 PM   
maliciouskisses


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It is kind of empowering when you finally stumble upon the right phrasing and realize "HEYYYYY that's me!"  I know when I first landed online and started visiting D/s rooms and the like I thought "ok, so I'm a submissive?"  Years passed, I learned more about myself and more about my drives and I realized that there isn't a real easy definition. Too many people try to plug you into a category. They figure a submissive does A, B and C things but if they do D, E, and F then they aren't.

Hell with that!  Too many people take on the label and all the flack that can go with it just to try to "simplify" the search for a partner.  I say if you are a painslut, Sadist, Dominant, bottom, brat, Mistress, princess, submissive, slave, or other unnamed kinky person just try to celebrate YOU and know that eventually you'll find the perfect balance to your needs, regardless of the proper label or lack thereof.

~mali



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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 4:29:42 PM   
chamberqueen


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I think the proper label for me would probably be "caretaker".  I play many roles in my lifestyle family, from slave to alpha guiding another sub to training a novice Dom besides trying to help out people here and through emails.  I see what needs to be done and simply do it and keep things running as smoothly as possible.

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 6:20:59 PM   
Quivver


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I have to ask ... what is a `typical` submissive? 



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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 6:34:31 PM   
JessieMe


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

I have to ask ... what is a `typical` submissive? 




OH GAWD NO!!!!!

Run away...run away~    


< Message edited by JessieMe -- 9/13/2008 6:42:45 PM >


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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 6:48:35 PM   
natasha66


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

I have to ask ... what is a `typical` submissive? 




if you hadn't asked that, i was going to LOL.

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Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 6:52:16 PM   
flower2007


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

I have to ask ... what is a `typical` submissive? 




Uh, one who actually submits? 

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 7:05:11 PM   
DMFParadox


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I enjoyed being a knight in shining armor, until I realized how damned expensive it was.  That took some of the fun out of it.

These days I tend to avoid the distressed damsels in favor of the healthy, confident and secure ones.  Although I can still wield a mean lance.

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bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 7:21:05 PM   
Quivver


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quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007


quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

I have to ask ... what is a `typical` submissive? 




Oh Hell, I've been known to submit... but trust Me I'm far from typical. 

Uh, one who actually submits? 



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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 7:34:30 PM   
Faramir


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We use descriptive labels for just that--to describe in a kind of shorthand what we mean.  Behind the few words we use to lable in that way are all the other words already said, and we count on others having similiar linguistic and conceptual associations with the label (or any other utterance).  That's why it feels so right to correctly label yourself, or at least how you see yourself in D/s--your label calls to mind all the things you've been trying say.  That's a good thing.

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True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

(in reply to Quivver)
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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 9:13:19 PM   
DesFIP


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I've always thought of damsel in distress as the girl in melodrama who gets tied up to the railroad tracks, as opposed to art bondage. We've talked occasionally about getting a couple of railroad ties in the yard to act this out, if only the mosquitos didn't love me so! And damsels don't normally smell of DEET.

But yes, it is empowering to discover there's a word that fits you.

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/13/2008 9:21:29 PM   
AAkasha


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I have always wanted a "Damsel in Distress" boytoy.

When I hear that description, I think of bondage scenarios where the victim is helpless, needs to be rescued (physicaly) and is also undeniable sweet, sexy and irrestistable in her (his) helpless state.

I also think of "damsel in distress" types as kind of unknowning, stumbling, gets themselves into messes, etc.  In a thread we were brainstorming who in mainstream media has ever been a male "Damsel in Distress" and were having a hardtime coming up with it, and I just recently did.  "Jimmy" from the Superman series, especially in the old B&W TV show. Wasn't he always winding up getting in trouble, mixing up with bad guys, and getting tied up and gagged and needing to be rescued, just like a "girl"?

HOT!

Akasha


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(in reply to flower2007)
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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/14/2008 2:21:17 AM   
subbysubsubsub


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Joined: 8/17/2008
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hey congrats!

I think i'm more of a polymorphic sub, taking on different "labels" as my dom and I see fit.  I haven't yet found one "sub-type" that I enjoy far more than others.  Maybe we'll play around with 'damsel in distress.' 

When I hear damsel in distress, I vision a somewhat clumsy, beautiful, dependant woman who always has a knack for getting tied up in random places. lol

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/14/2008 3:57:02 AM   
seababy


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reminds me of the war comic strip "Jane"

http://www.skylighters.org/jane/

Constantly getting herself in trouble, usually involving her clothes falling off.

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/14/2008 5:18:18 AM   
SlaveIndigochild


Posts: 272
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

I have to ask ... what is a `typical` submissive? 



oh please don't....i might feel obligated to have to answer

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RE: Came to a realization today - 9/14/2008 9:24:31 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

So what exactly is a damsel in distress.


One need only look at some of the posts that are drama driven and usually begin with "help" 

< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 9/14/2008 9:25:09 AM >

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
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