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Service VS Pleasing - 9/13/2008 8:00:27 PM

Morghan

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I had a great conversation tonight with a sub about his desire to please vs my desire to receive useful service. It was a fun process explaining the difference. In my eyes, I need service that reduces the tasks that feel like burdens. But I don't need someone to 'wait on me hand and foot'. I am a strong person, and plan to stay that way, and even grow stronger. IF however, someone 'takes care of it' all for me, then I no longer have that opportunity to be my growing, capable, strong self. Thus the things I most need/want help with in the form of work or service, might be things many would see as unrelated to D/s. I instead see them as enhancing my life, giving me more mental and perhaps physical leisure time to contemplate play. And when I have that space for downtime/playtime, the play I *do* engage in will tend to be more fun, more energized, and last longer.

Just some thoughts.

Morghan

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RE: Service VS Pleasing - 9/13/2008 8:14:02 PM

Coupleofwhats

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I agree. It's actually aggravating if someone tries to do every little thing for me. I just want them to take care of tedious tasks (like the dishes!)

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RE: Service VS Pleasing - 9/13/2008 8:14:53 PM

OttersSwim

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As a new sub, service is actually really important to me as I am still new to how to "please" in a submissive way as it were. Whether it is making the salad for dinner, cleaning up in the morning so She does not have to come home to a dirty place, or help with computers, etc, it is something that I can do to be useful and feel like I am contributing to Her life.

Once I learn what pleases Her, it won't mean that service tasks will end. I just like feeling useful.

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RE: Service VS Pleasing - 9/13/2008 8:20:55 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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Fox cannot read my mind. I dont want him guessing or assuming what I want. He still asks what I want him to do, or I leave him notes. He knows a few regular tasks I expect and anything else will be specified. He does the housewife work so I dont have to.

DV

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RE: Service VS Pleasing - 9/14/2008 1:40:19 AM

MaamJay

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

I agree. It's actually aggravating if someone tries to do every little thing for me. I just want them to take care of tedious tasks (like the dishes!)

YESSSSSSSSSSS!!! ESPECIALLY the dishes LOL!

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RE: Service VS Pleasing - 9/14/2008 5:31:00 AM

SlaveIndigochild

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We have what my Master terms: intuitive service.
i am highly empathic (based on being a twin). i have always, both consciously and subconsciously (when i haven't evene been aware of) been looking to replicate my relationship with my sister which was wholly one of my submission to her. This was a deep subission, a natural part of how we functined as a 'whole' in the world and covert.It was a life's training that has had me feel co-dependent, deeply anxious when alone and desiring a D-type who would be at home/desire/love the way i seem to be able to read another's mind.
Master allows and encourages me to 'read' his needs. i am allowed to be wrong, but it is scary to me how often i am right.....the smallest things like passing a pen when he needs to write, making tea without being asked, walking behind him, and so on, there are too many ind=cidences woven into everyday life.
However i have in the past been seen as a clingy needy failure in vanilla situations where that type of intuive service was obviously not a requirement.
it's really very beautiful being allowed to serve like this from a deep intuitive part of me. It really has stopped most of the inner debates going on in my head. When i am at my most intuitive it is inherently pleasing to Him. It's just a process of trusting that it is ok for me to be that intuitive.

< Message edited by SlaveIndigochild -- 9/14/2008 5:33:25 AM >

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RE: Service VS Pleasing - 9/14/2008 8:34:43 AM

Deliena

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Master likes for me to anticipate His needs, similar to Slaveindigochild's experience above, but He also likes to be allowed to be His own, separate being sometimes (perhaps mirroring the feelings of the OP), I don't see this as duality, but similar to the axiom 'all things in moderation' - whilst moderation might not always be the watchword, many elements make up a satisfying, full and well-rounded life.

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