quote:

ORIGINAL: MadAxeman

THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN A TENNESSEE SCHOOL DISTRICT.

SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.
 
MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.
 
PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.
 
Does this mean she will be gone a while longer?

 
DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.
 
Maybe he was with Obama while in the other seven of the 57 states of his campaign.

 
PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY.
SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.
 
Well, as long as she is doing something productive.

 
PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.
 
 I hope he finds it, that could be important.

 
JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD
TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.
 
CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.
 
I hope he gets that taken care of, it would be a shame if he didn't grow any more.  

 
MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE
HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.
 
CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.
 
I wonder if he felt bloated too.

 
PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL.
HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.
 
Yeah, could make communicating difficult.

 
PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY.
HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SHITS.
[WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT].
 
PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY.
HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.
 
Ooohhh, well wouldn't want to mess up the floors.

 
IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.
 
I suppose that could be kinda traumatic.

 
PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING.
IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT
 
I tend to think mom was involved there too...

KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.
 
Yeah, so much other stuff to do on the weekends...

 
PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.
 


SALLY WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL.
 
Should she be expected the next week? 
 
MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED.
SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.
 
Yep, that could sure tire a girl out.

 
PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY.
HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.
 
What kind of school is this?!?

 
ol is this?!?PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY.
SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.
 
Close friendly family.

GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.
 
That could sure keep a girl busy and tire her out.

 
PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.
 
Sounds like a friendly sort, good bed side manner.

 
MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORE THROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH.
HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AND SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER.
I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER.
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND,
HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.