|
thetammyjo -> RE: Is it cheating (9/14/2008 7:22:33 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: badboyinneed
is it cheating to have a Pro Mistress if You are married and Your wife has no intrest in the lifestyle
Depends on the vows you took, the expectations of your marriage and the laws of your region -- of course, given that in some states any sex not between married adults for reproductive purposes isn't legal, many sexual things we do are illegal.
Therefore, I consider the first two points to be most valuable.
If you took vows to be monogamous I think must be monogamous or you nullifying your marriage in the eyes of whomever witnessed your vows. They may be some rituals and ceremonies you can preform to undo and redo those vows but in my opinion they stand as taken.
Expectations are the next level at which you have to consider whether or not you are cheating. Regardless of vows are there expectations of monogamy? My guess is that if you feel you have to hide it from your spouse, you know she has the expectation that you are only doing intimate things with her. This is where you have to have a series of discussions about your expectations.
Now I'm going to sound like a total bitch when I say this: How can people get married and not know about their sexual interests and needs? If you aren't that self-aware, can you be self-aware enough to get married?
I come from a very dysfunctional family-of-origin with high levels of sexual and psychological abuse for generations and I was still able to figure myself out long before I got married and make sure I only took vows I could live with for a lifetime and that we discussed and continue to discuss expectations. I have a great deal of difficulty understanding how others cannot be that self-aware before marriage. I am not that special or unique, I just can't grok that I am.
|
|
|
|
