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To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 5:32:44 PM

knowshisplace09

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline

question to all the wonderful Dommes out there....as a sub or slave....is it our duty to approach You with what we have to offer...or wait until one of You approaches us? thank You!!

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RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 5:44:35 PM

softpjOS

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

there is no hard and fast rule to anything, including who makes the initial contact on here.

Best bet is to read the Dommes full profile and if you meet what She is seeking, send a well thought out letter introducing yourself and outlining the interests you both share. And that doesn't mean going into full detail about.. since She is interested in CBT, giving Her your "ideal" scene for that particular interest.

Many clues can be found within the profile of the person you are considering contacting. Remember, Dominant Women are real people, with real life interests and their lives dont revolve around BDSM and scenes. Well, not in the *fantasy* way.....

(in reply to knowshisplace09)

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RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 5:49:32 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

It's your duty to do what you want. I've read about plenty of lazy dommes who think the sub should message them, BS. BOTH parties should be responsible for sending messages. If she doesn't feel like sending a message or you don't don't feel like sending a message then how the hell will people meet? Just need to take a chance and message when you feel like it and the women need to message when they feel like it.

I, personally, find it annoying to get messaged with "what someone has to offer." I'd rather someone be polite and say hello and talk to me first before throwing their kink on the table. I hate the messages where guys go on and on about their kinks and their fetishes and how I am some goddess they want to worship. Agh

(in reply to softpjOS)

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RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 6:24:56 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

If you want to get noticed, you're going to have to send some messages. Gird your loans for a lot of rejection, but don't let it get you down. Check out a Dommes Vanilla interests! You'll be more likely to get farther talking about those in the beginning. Also, instead of just saying "I wish to serve you any way you wish" THINK of something NON-SEXUAL that you can do that is a valuable service! If you are close enough, can you fix the car? Get the viruses off her computer? Do you give great therapeutic massages - not just clumsy back rubs? Can you wash, color, brush or curl her hair? Lace a corset? Anything that is different from what every other sub is offering? Every single sub in the world thinks they are the absolute best toe kisser and ass licker. You better be more original if you want to stand out in the crowd.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Usako)

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RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 7:06:00 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

I am on the other side. I do like to hear what someone has to offer, it's usually the first question i ask a sub who contacts me. But echoing Ms. Starlett, don't just repeat what's on your profile and be interesting. Make it obvious you read my profile before messaging me. Whatever you do don't say you'll do anything, i have been known to suggest some ... shall we say "final" tasks

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 7:12:08 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

If men did not approach us endlessly, how could we fill the air with our rants about trolling emails!

Of course you should feel free to approach a dominant. Be courteous, spell her name correctly, and say something about yourself that makes you unique. Read her profile first, though. If she has an age limit that you don't match, or your favourite kink is her most hated, you might want to pass that lady by.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

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RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 7:19:59 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I appreciate messages from subs who HAVE read My profile and demonstrated that within their message. Don't give Me a list of things you want Me to do to you. Don't tell Me you would do anything for Me ... you don't even know Me from a bar of soap! That simply cheapens Me. Also don't just write "Hello Mistress" ... that leaves Me absolutely nowhere to go.

A suitable start would be:
Hello Ma'am. i am a sub male living in X in Australia and i would be willing to relocate for the right Dominant. i noticed in Your profile that You are looking for a 24/7 lifestyle sub and this is what i aspire to be with the right person. i also see You have a Master and i am ok with the idea of a male being head of the household as long as You would be in control of me. i would appreciate it if You might check out my profile and perhaps we could chat more and get to know each other. Looking forward to hearing from You. sub y

OR
Hello Ma'am, i have a question if You don't mind. How does it work for You being both sub to Your Master and Dominant over a sub? i don't have a picture in my head of how that would flow on a daily basis. i am interested in Your reply. Regards sub y

In other words, show manners, don't be too grovelly, use greetings and a signature. It's not rocket science!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

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RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 7:20:05 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Whatever you should choose to do, just don't forget the pie.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to knowshisplace09)

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RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 7:58:15 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Pie? Carmel nut apple by any chance? Served hot with French vanilla ice cream? *drool*

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

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Post #: 9

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/14/2008 8:06:38 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Be courteous, spell her name correctly

And don't get the addressee mixed up with someone else because that can be embarrassing ;-)

Yes, it happened! Aw C'mon, I have a perfectly good explanation for why it happened!

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 9/14/2008 8:20:35 PM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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Post #: 10

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/15/2008 7:26:57 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knowshisplace09

question to all the wonderful Dommes out there....as a sub or slave....is it our duty to approach You with what we have to offer...or wait until one of You approaches us? thank You!!

The answer depends entirely on what is said in the person's profile. Nothing more, nothing less. Not reading someone's profile and doing what it requests is a sure why to get no reaction or a negative reaction.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to knowshisplace09)

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Post #: 11

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/15/2008 8:44:10 AM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: knowshisplace09

question to all the wonderful Dommes out there....as a sub or slave....is it our duty to approach You with what we have to offer...or wait until one of You approaches us? thank You!!

The answer depends entirely on what is said in the person's profile. Nothing more, nothing less. Not reading someone's profile and doing what it requests is a sure why to get no reaction or a negative reaction.

Yes, indeed. There is nothing I dislike more than a generic email that is clearly cut and pasted and sent to every Domme profile, without regard to the person.

LasyJulieAnn

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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Post #: 12

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/15/2008 9:42:08 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Be courteous, spell her name correctly

And don't get the addressee mixed up with someone else because that can be embarrassing ;-)

Yes, it happened! Aw C'mon, I have a perfectly good explanation for why it happened!

Cheers,

Sea

No kidding! Some man wrote to say that he was running late but would still make the dinner date... luckily I was online so I could tell him that um... I was free for dinner, but probably NOT the person he was intending to write!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to undergroundsea)

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Post #: 13

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/15/2008 1:33:00 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I know other people have said this, but it really depends on the people involved. The biggest contributing factor is reading the profile of the person you intend to contact. If you don't fit what is listed there, there's nothing wrong with moving on to the next one.

I'm not saying profile reading is a requirement if you are just dropping a friendly hello or want to comment on something that someone said on the boards that you particularly liked, but I can promise you that I'm more receptive if someone initiates contact because of something I've actually said. The quickest way for Me to lean towards rude is if someone asks Me a question that the answer was really already provided in My profile.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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Post #: 14

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/15/2008 4:32:26 PM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Whatever you should choose to do, just don't forget the pie.

What, you don't want punch?... I always, always, always bring punch and pie!

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to chiaThePet)

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Post #: 15

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/15/2008 9:39:36 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Whatever you should choose to do, just don't forget the pie.

What, you don't want punch?... I always, always, always bring punch and pie!

Alrighty then, by all means, punch it is.

As long as the bruises are symmetrically tasteful.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to E2Sweet)

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Post #: 16

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/15/2008 10:38:16 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

<In her best Cartman voice>

Tell them that we'll have punch and pie. More people will show up if they think there will be punch and pie.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to chiaThePet)

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Post #: 17

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/15/2008 11:57:47 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

No kitty, this is my pot pie.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 18

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/16/2008 4:55:47 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Did you want Cheezy Poofs with that?

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: To approach or not approach..... - 9/16/2008 7:05:28 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a Cheesy Poof.

A Poof maybe, but never Cheesy.

Not that I don't love Cheesy Poofs.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

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Post #: 20