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30 Things Women Never Say - 9/14/2008 5:36:24 PM

MadAxeman

Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
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1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper, too. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
3. Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!
4. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
5. Bar food again!? Kick ass!
6. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
7. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
8. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
9. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?
10. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
11. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Stephanie's bare ass.
12. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.
13. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
14. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
15. You are so much smarter than my father.
16. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.
17. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
18. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
19. You're so sexy when you're hung over.
20. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
21. Let's subscribe to Hustler.
22. I'll be out painting the house.
23. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.
24. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
25 No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
26. Your mother is way better than mine.
27. Do me a favour, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.
28. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire?
29. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.
30. Look! My ass is fatter than yours.

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RE: 30 Things Women Never Say - 9/14/2008 6:39:47 PM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Not True..I have said Numbers: 11, 13, 17, 18, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, and regretfully 30.

poenkitten

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RE: 30 Things Women Never Say - 9/14/2008 7:58:46 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

I could easily hear myself saying (or have said):
2
9
11
15
18
21
22
23
24
25
27
29
There would be more, but neither of us drink much or care for football.

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RE: 30 Things Women Never Say - 9/14/2008 8:56:42 PM

KonDomme

Posts: 778
Joined: 9/14/2008
Status: offline

30 Things Stressed Women Might want to Say At Work
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren’t we a damn ray of sunshine!
5. Don’t bother me; I’m living happily every after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn’t an office…it’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don’t you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
11. I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet!
16. Back off! Youre standing in my aura.
17. Don’t worry…I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder…my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that they style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes…Do you see one ounce of “gives-a-shit?”

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RE: 30 Things Women Never Say - 9/14/2008 9:02:43 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

17. Don’t worry…I forgot your name too.

I find this is strangely helpful in awkward social situations.

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RE: 30 Things Women Never Say - 9/14/2008 9:04:50 PM

filledecoeur