What Women Want (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games



Message

MadAxeman -> What Women Want (9/14/2008 6:12:37 PM)

What a woman says, what she really means:
 
I need = I want
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!



BlackPhx -> RE: What Women Want (9/14/2008 6:35:42 PM)

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

poenkitten



KonDomme -> RE: What Women Want (9/14/2008 8:51:39 PM)

What Women Want in a Man, Original List (age 22)
     
     1. Handsome
     2. Charming
     3. Financially successful
     4. A caring listener
     5. Witty
     6. In good shape
     7. Dresses with style
     8. Appreciates finer things
     9. Full of thoughtful surprises
     10. An imaginative, romantic lover
     
     What Women Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
     
     1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
     2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
     3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
     4. Listens more than talks
     5. Laughs at my jokes
     6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
     7. Owns at least one tie
     8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
     9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
     10. Seeks romance at least once a week
     
     What Women Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
     
     1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
     2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
     3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
     4. Nods head when I'm talking
     5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
     6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
     7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
     8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
     9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
     10. Shaves most weekends
     
     What Women Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
     
     1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
     2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
     3. Doesn't borrow money too often
     4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
     5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
     6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
     7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
     8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
     9. Remembers your name on occasion
     10. Shaves some weekends
     
     What Women Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
     
     1. Doesn't scare small children
     2. Remembers where bathroom is
     3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
     4. Only snores lightly when asleep
     5. Remembers why he's laughing
     6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
     7. Usually wears some clothes
     8. Likes soft foods
     9. Remembers where he left his teeth
     10. Remembers that it's the weekend
     
     What Women Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
     
     1. Breathing
     2. Doesn't miss the toilet.



bondagelover1950 -> RE: What Women Want (9/15/2008 4:34:08 AM)

What four animals does a woman want in her home?[sm=domme.gif]

1) A Tiger in her bed

2) A mink in her closet

3) A jaguar in the garage

4) a jackass to pay for it all

[sm=givemebeer.gif][sm=chug.gif][sm=car.gif]




Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.015625