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Worldly1 -> RE: Got a new one for you (dealing with a manipulative emotional abuser) (9/18/2008 1:40:18 PM)
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Asmodeus, with respect, if you're still checking this thread, you're not going to like what I have to say.
In reading your profile, I note that you've been on collarme for nearly 5 years.
I reading your post, it appears that you're quite active in your local bdsm scene.
With all of your experience, I'm quite surprised that you didn't know how to handle this situation to begin with, but least you asked for advice, even though you didn't like some of it.
Here are my thoughts.
First of all, you and your partner have a major obligation to protect your contracted submissive from conflict and harm. Period, end of story.
She was squarely in the middle of external conflict and she should have been able to rely on you to take charge of it and deal with it swiftly and effectively. It sounds like you allowed it to drag on far too long and allowed the drama to continue.
If you didn't know how to handle such a very basic (and common) situation, where someone outside of the relationship intrudes and interferes, then perhaps you should consider finding a Mentor for yourself...someone with much more experience and wisdom. I have many Dom friends in the scene, including Leather Masters, many of whom have Mentors from whom they seek guidance and advice. Rather than being seen as 'weak', they are highly regarded for this.
Wealthy people have financial advisers.
Super athletes have coaches. Many excellent coaches have coaches.
Why should a Dom/Master let his ego prevent him from having a Mentor?
Respectfully,
W1
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