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Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 3:54:56 AM   
Renski


Posts: 32
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		What is it with Doms?

I have only spoken to 2 that dont mind me crosdressing the others all seem to hate it. Is this something im going to find contiuously?

What are your thoughts/views?


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Renski
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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 5:40:08 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Gender clarification - you're a man who likes to dress as a woman.  You're bi, so presumably this question applies to male Doms as well as Dommes.

I'd expect gay male Doms to be pretty used to crossdressing male subs.  Female Dommes may not be so used to it.  And the numbers work so that Dommes can afford to be very selective - the male subs outnumber them.


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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 5:43:44 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		What does the dom/me get out of it? Not humiliation because you love to do this and it isn't humiliating. No expanding your view of yourself because you already prefer to see yourself this way.

Now if you're offering plain service, and want to wear a maid's outfit while cleaning the house, they might go for it because they don't have to interact with you much.

But otherwise, what's in it for them?

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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 6:19:52 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Renski

What is it with Doms?

I have only spoken to 2 that dont mind me crosdressing the others all seem to hate it. Is this something im going to find contiuously?


Why do you expect it to be any different for "Doms" than it is for the general public?


Cali


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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 6:51:39 AM   
Diverse


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/21/2008
Status: offline 		Seems like a pretty representative view of how the world sees crossdressers in general. If you're really focused on the crossdressing part of your life why not list yourself as a TV on the site? You'll get more appropriate interactions, at least to some degree.

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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 8:02:49 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Well the general idea as I get it is there are alot of gay men who have a distinct preference for their men to look like men. I've heard it quite often "If I wanted to sleep with someone who looked like a woman I'd be straight." Bottom line is you don't get to decide what person X finds attractive/ desireable. You get to decide what you want and what you need but nobody is obligated to supply you with those things unless and until they start a relationship with you on that level.



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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 8:41:32 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Is it -all about the crossdressing-, or -all about submission-?  If you cannot do this without being dressed, then most will see it as a fetish, and while that is appealing to some, for many it will not be.  You become a one-trick-pony and if it is all about you, what is the attraction for them?

Also, crossdressing is often a symptom of repression of gender identity and can = lots of baggage/trauma/denial.

If on the other hand, it can be incorporated into an overall balance of submission and service, then there are those that will embrace it, and gladly.

My advice is to deal with it in yourself first - come to a point of balance and fulfillment if you can, and understand and express in your profile how it interacts in your desire to submit and serve.

Hope that helps. 

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 9/17/2008 8:42:23 AM >

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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 8:59:49 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

there are alot of gay men who have a distinct preference for their men to look like men.


yes exactly...if they wanted a woman they would be bi or straight.  so the notion of a male crossdressing is a turn off..big time.

crossdresser's are usually part timers and some of them do it because they get off to it.   it has nothing to do with gender expression.  it is a fetish to them and these are usually the youngins...20s-30s.

then there are the ones who are drunk and confused about themselves ..they tend to do the crossdressing at gatherings where other cd's are and these are usually of the 50+ yr olds.




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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 6:00:49 PM   
Renski


Posts: 32
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I dont do it to "Get off" I truly do it because it makes me feel like someone else. I find myself wishing i was born a girl instead. Thanks for all the comments ill have to question some of my own views though.

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Renski

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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/17/2008 7:27:08 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Renski

I dont do it to "Get off" I truly do it because it makes me feel like someone else. I find myself wishing i was born a girl instead. Thanks for all the comments ill have to question some of my own views though.


then you are not a cd, you are trans...and should look into going further.  but being a girl and wishing you were born one is different....you have to figure out if you are a girl or not.  counseling can help.  because once you accept that your a girl you will no longer wish to be born one..as you already are one.


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I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
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SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 5:31:23 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		faery. Let's see if I have this right. Anyone over 39 has to be drunk to crossdress? By accepting that you are a girl then you are one?  This was 2 AFLACK moments for me. Im not saying that your thought process is wrong it is just different from mine.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 5:36:38 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I agree with faery. The op thinks of himself as more female than male, wishes he were female which takes this out of the fetish realm of cross dressing and into the area of transgender.

OP: google the term transgender and find a therapist who is familiar with this.

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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 9:04:19 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I really believe that there are degrees of transgender.  I have been clinically diagnosed with gender dysphoria and I identify as transgender (same wishing to have been born female, etc.), but I don't want to go all the way to girl.  I began the path to SRS and decided that it was not for me.  So I turned my focus on integrating this part of myself into the whole.  Others have a different experience with it.

I think where Faery is going with her thinking is that identification as male or female first begins inside with acceptance of who are really are.  From there, you are the person you want to be - changing the outward appearance simply connects all the dots.

EDIT:  Renski, I concur with those that recommended getting some counseling.  It can be really helpful to talk these feelings through with someone who understands transgender and sexuality issues.  There are a lot of organizations out there that can help you find someone, or help with group sessions, etc.


< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 9/18/2008 9:15:10 AM >

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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 10:21:16 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		i am going with the main fact of renski wishing he was born a girl.
this is the thought that ALL transsexuals start with.  which means he has gender issues that need to be addressed.

its the old analogy "woman trapped in mans body"...that transsexuals use...wishing he was born a girl is another way of saying it.

so he has to decide if he is a she.  once that decision is made it makes things alot smoother and he begins to be more confident/accepting of the situation.

i have gone thru what he has with the uncertainty of things..but i did start dressing in highschool--expelled twice for it...i was only a child...no possible way to transition way back then as it wasnt known how to do (as widely as it is known now with the education of dr's on this subject).  and you had to go through private clinics that specialize in such manners (which you dont need to now).  i certainly wasnt going to do that...as it feels like when your in those buildings/surroundings that your crazy and the way they treat you is crap.  so i avoided that and waited.  i already had bad health with my heart...wasnt going to get worse with them affecting my mind... i never did counseling...but i probably should have...




< Message edited by faerytattoodgirl -- 9/18/2008 10:26:21 AM >

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I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 3:21:08 PM   
sirguym


Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I am a Dom, and like girls. I found I liked quite a few TS, post and pre-op and TV girls too, by experiment.

I am also married, which means that my playing with natal girls is kind of a threat to the marriage.

Natal single girls generally want more than to be just one more of my circle of girls too.

But I find I have no interest, not a flicker in men: not even if they got me horny a half-hour earlier as a girl.

So I consider myself a straight guy who is interested in trans as well as natal girls, but is not bisexual.

Because I am interested in them for what they have in common with girls, not their 'boy bits'.

But even I am not at all interested in men who dress as women and don't carry it all the way through.

Men who use womens clothes as a fetish, but don't want to be women, are out there in no mans land, few wil want them.

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 6:35:43 PM   
Slavelary


Posts: 54
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		Well pretty soon I'm gonna have to go through forced feminization for my Master.  Already I have to wear a black lace thong for Him.  It's something I'm gonna have to get used to -- I'm quite masculine really...

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 6:39:01 PM   
Slavelary


Posts: 54
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Well the general idea as I get it is there are alot of gay men who have a distinct preference for their men to look like men. I've heard it quite often "If I wanted to sleep with someone who looked like a woman I'd be straight." Bottom line is you don't get to decide what person X finds attractive/ desireable. You get to decide what you want and what you need but nobody is obligated to supply you with those things unless and until they start a relationship with you on that level.





An I don't think gay male subs like me are into cross dressing either.  The problem is my Master is straight.  He probably wishes I was a woman, which is why he expects me to cross-dress...

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 6:52:15 PM   
CruelDesires


Posts: 824
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Why doesnt he get with a woman if that is what he wants? I do not understand.

C-D

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Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.
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RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 9:07:50 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavelary
Well pretty soon I'm gonna have to go through forced feminization for my Master....


Just know that what you're talking about here can be a fun humiliation kink with which to indulge, but it can also be devastating to your self esteem if its not for you... Listen to your intuition and think it through...

< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 9/18/2008 9:14:39 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Doms and Crosdressing, - 9/18/2008 9:12:06 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavelary
...An I don't think gay male subs like me are into cross dressing either.  The problem is my Master is straight....


I'm confused as to how its possible that a dominant male that owns male subs with which he is intimate not be either bi or gay... I'm not trying to pick an argument or even trigger a debate, but... well, you see where I'm going with this right?

< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 9/18/2008 9:13:56 PM >

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E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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Profile   Post #: 20
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