RE: No sex for slaves

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: No sex for slaves

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: No sex for slaves

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: No sex for slaves - 9/17/2008 4:54:51 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subeos

Today I got a CM message from a Dom stating that he in the 7 yrs that he's been in BDSM had never had sex with his slaves.
Now, sex is not everything , I understand. But I am not sure I understand why a Dom or male would do that. And ideas?

He's a complete moron?

(in reply to subeos)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: No sex for slaves - 9/17/2008 5:07:38 PM

kidwithknife

Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Have you considered asking the dominant in question?
Anything else is just second guessing.

the.dark.

This.

Apart from anything else, some questions occur to me straight away.

Does he not have sex full stop or does he just not have sex with his slaves?

How is he defining sex?

Does he recieve sexual pleasure in some way from his slaves? Or vice versa?

How does he see his relationship with his slaves?

Does he watch his slaves have sex with other people?

Because without that kind of information, I don't think it's even possible to make a vaguely educated guess as to his motivations for me. So these are just some possiblilties.

He's asexual.

His main kink is voyeurism.

His prefered role is that of a 'mentor'.

He specifically means "penetrative sex" and he simply prefers other sexual activity.

Or, obviously, any of the other possible options already mentioned. Or one that hasn't been.

It does amuse me somewhat that a sizeable percentage of the suggestions so far have started from a position of assuming bad faith.

Obviously, there are no parallels between automatically assuming that someone who is not having sex must be doing it for dubious reasons and unfair judgements that are made of more 'conventional' BDSM relationships. And there is absolutely no chance that some people appear to be more influenced by societal expectations of sexual behaviour than they'd like to think.

And it would be utterly churlish of me to insinuate otherwise.

(in reply to RCdc)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: No sex for slaves - 9/17/2008 6:06:13 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

There are all sorts of slaves. My partner was a sub to me for many months before sex entered the equation, and for me that's really saying something. It's just not where we fit at that time, not what we were together for.

Some doms feel they need to keep a barrier in order to maintain the mystique of dominance. I've known several who never orgasmed, who never gave oral sex, who never cooked, who never did a lot of things because they had put that into the "real doms don't" category. It's what works for them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to servantheart)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: No sex for slaves - 9/17/2008 6:22:21 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subeos

I just did that, and should have asked before I posted. He rather let other Masters or male slaves to use his slaves. I thought maybe he was impotent.

slave eos

~To Thine Own ASelf Be True~

Men are very much visually stimulated when it comes to sex. I've talked to a couple of guys who got more out of watching their lover/partner/slave with another man then actually participating. Not to mention the feeling of power that can arise from "giving" your slave to someone else to use can be intense.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to subeos)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: No sex for slaves - 9/17/2008 6:29:00 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Maybe he just wants domestic service slaves or maybe it just isn't his thing.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 9/17/2008 6:30:11 PM >

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to subeos)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: No sex for slaves - 9/17/2008 6:58:31 PM

Slavelary

Posts: 54
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline

Well there's no sex in my current relationship. My Master is straight for one thing, but he's got a Mistress now and there's no sex in that relationship either, so I dunno...

(in reply to subeos)

Profile

Post #: 26