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VivaciousSub -> RE: So what's wrong with playing to one's strengths (or weaknesses)? (10/5/2008 12:20:55 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth
quote:
ORIGINAL: sujuguete
But I must admit that I cannot wrap my head around your position that "consent" is a fiction. Maybe I just don't understand the definition of "consent" that is being discussed.
Think of it this way: Consent, as we mean it, requires that the person consenting be "sane" and "aware". There's no way for us to tell whether another person is sane or aware, and in many cases we can simply decide that someone isn't sane or aware in order to deny their "consent" - especially when we are uncomfortable with what they're consenting to - so it appears that consent is just a word that we throw at things to tell ourselves that we're okay with some things and not others.
I agree with you here. If I could get a nickel for each time I've heard someone protest in dismay "How could any sane person agree to that?!", I'd be a rich woman. Fact of the matter is, we use concepts like 'sanity' and 'consent' to distance ourselves from activities, thoughts or ideas that are outside our own personal norms. Generally, the further outside an activity/thought/idea stands outside our own personal norm, the more likely we are to have that knee-jerk reaction.
I'll admit, I've been guilty of this myself but since reading these boards I'm learning to step away from viewing everything through the filter of my personal norms and considering it from a less-tainted perspective. In my opinion so long as the parties involved are not breaking any serious law of the land - I'm choosing here to ignore the variety of laws that would make WIITWD illegal based on misunderstanding or lack of knowledge, and the parties involved derive mutual satisfaction from the arrangements they've agreed apply to their relationship - then there's nothing to be complaining about. As far as prop is concerned, her relationship is very different than what I would perceive as right for me, but it's not my decision to say that she is wrong. She is not.
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