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Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 3:43:39 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		Is it just me or do all male dominants have an ego problem?  I have read several posts that basically say the same thing.  Sweetdommes brought it up again in her post.
I am beginning to believe that most male doms have a serious ego problem.  They only want women they can ride rough shod over, because it makes them feel "like a manly man"!
Maybe most of them are just insecure....
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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 3:49:52 PM   
Hime


Posts: 149
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

it just me or do all male dominants have an ego problem?



I think it's just you because, there may be "some" Male Dominants with ego problems but certainly not ALL.
There are quite a few Dominant Males on the board that are very considerate of their slaves and submissive counterparts.


~xoxo


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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 3:56:59 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Some male/female doms have ego problems, some don't.

There ya go, simple answer. :D

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 4:09:25 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		My friends and I have noticed a phenomenon in our local scene

Dominants - male or female - fresh off the net can be bizarrely egotistical.  Which is just a mask for their insecurities being new and inexperienced I guess.

But the longer someone spends in the real BDSM scene, the less ego they seem to have.

Really confident Doms don't swagger and boast at all.  They just quietly observe the newcomers shooting off their mouths!!


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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 4:19:01 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		men men men men
manly men men men
men men men men





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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 4:19:26 PM   
petitespitfire64


Posts: 182
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline 		BELIEVE me, there are just as many female dominants with ego issues.

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 5:11:40 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

Is it just me or do all male dominants have an ego problem?  I have read several posts that basically say the same thing.  Sweetdommes brought it up again in her post.
I am beginning to believe that most male doms have a serious ego problem.  They only want women they can ride rough shod over, because it makes them feel "like a manly man"!
Maybe most of them are just insecure....


It isn't all male dominants, certainly.  But I do get a fair amount of email from male dominants where I wind up thinking that the dom in question is mistaking being a wanker for being dominant.  It's interesting that you mention insecurity, as this has crossed my mind, as well.  On the other hand, I've had some perfectly lovely emails from male doms, but those tend to be few and far between.  Believe me, the difference in quality is quite noticeable.

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 5:26:56 PM   
mztresn0w


Posts: 174
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		It would be nice if we could remove the egos. But we can not and our ego's are just part of who we are. I don't think it matters if they are male or female. I just think it is a shame that a few have made you feel that way. Please don't judge all male dominants by a few. Hopeful the ones you encountered were just having a bad day. Hopefully you will meet them when they are having a better day.

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 5:30:22 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		absolutes  and  saying ALL , ALWAYS and NEVER rarely works . Nope not ALL  Dominants  have ego problems male or female .

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:00:56 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Some do. Mine does not.

*Wanders off to initiate a gropefest*


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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:13:36 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I would say, that men, in general, are very prideful and it's not something that has any correlation to identifying as a "dominant" in a BDSM or D/S sense.

I would consider myself somewhere in the range of healthy ego to brushing over into the arrogant side.

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:15:31 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		 
These are men?!

Son of a switch!

I thought she was a little husky.

chia* (the pet)

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:16:32 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Somehow I never connected arrogance with bunny avatars. :D



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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:18:37 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I have met many dom men through local or online BDSM communities whom I regard well and consider friends. Not all male dominants are like that.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:26:27 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Somehow I never connected arrogance with bunny avatars. :D



That's because I am not full of myself and enjoy being as anti-stereotypical as I possibly can!

But I am very much prideful of my intellect and that tends to be the source of my arrogance. It comes out when I am debating or exchanging words with someone I consider to be way off.

Besides...the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland won't dress in that english coat unless he was a little bit of a pompous ass. Bunnies aren't always just cute, you know.

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Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to Lynnxz)
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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:30:05 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Many male dominants have strong egos, but a strong ego does not necessarily mean an "ego problem". It is easy to mistake someone who is commanding and directive as someone with an "ego problem"... but more often, that perception comes from someone who is insecure with hirself and who sees other peoples' strength of ego as an 'assault'.

That doesn't mean that there aren't asshole male dominants (and asshole female dominants and asshole male and female submissives). There are certainly enough men who claim to be dominants but are insecure and more bully than dominant. However, it can mean that just because someone is male and dominant doesn't automatically mean that he is automatically an ass or automatically has "ego problems".

Calla Firestorm



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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:49:40 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		A jerk is a jerk, regardless of orientation.  There are many exceptional men out there who are also dominant.  Unfortunately, it's also true that the trappings of BDSM can encourage serious asshattery, on the net and off.  I just repeat that old line about water seeking its own level...

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 6:56:34 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		I agree that "all" is probably a bad term.  However, there seems to be more men who have ego problems or bullying problems then women.  I am sure there are some well rounded male doms.  It just seems like the majority of them I have come across as more bullies than doms.
I have an Alpha personality and maybe that is part of the problem too.  Just thought I would throw this out and see what everyone thinks.

< Message edited by Steponme73 -- 9/17/2008 6:57:06 PM >

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 7:06:43 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		Part of the reason I don't stay closely connected to the local community as much as I would otherwise is obnoxious male dominants who think that I have just been waiting for them to turn me sub.  It isn't even a huge percentage of the male dominants I meet.  It's just that it is sooooooooooo obnoxious and so insulting that it looms large.

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RE: Male Dominants? - 9/17/2008 7:32:49 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Amen to that, Racquelle

Yeah, I'm having issues with a male dominant at the moment, and it does seem to be a trend ... but not all of them are like that.  There are plenty that I have chatted with at length online with no problems, and a few that didn't feel like chest beating when we were face to face.  But as Racquelle pointed out, the few who are the problems make it SOOOOO obvious and they are so freaking obnoxious about it, that it just spoils it for us ...

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