quote:

ORIGINAL: Lawrence111

Greetings:

As usual, when I LOG OUT of the collarme system, I am presented with a profile I am not interested in (a male dom's usually). Tonight something about one caught my eye.

In this profile, the man claims to be 31 (his photo looks it), and further claims to have been a "Master" for 13 years.

Math never having been my forte', I grabbed the trusty calculator, did the math, I concluded that he is saying that he became a Master at age 18.

I am always suspicious of similar claims. As I understood it, receiving that title (vs self-anointing one's self) usually happened after a time of mentorship and training from an already-titled Master/dominant/top (in some regions this took as long as two years). Therefore, in order to have earned the title, this man would have to be *some* age younger than 18 (OK< si forarguement's sake, at least 18).

I can see where a fem-sub could start at this age (with proper guidance.. specifically *what to look out FOR* ...I have known a few), but I would worry about an 18 year old male having been granted the complete freedom in the community to do whatever he wanted (swinging a single-tail, for example, with no in-depth training, perhaps *damaging* someone vs. *hurting* someone, giving them pain... where we might agree everything but "damaging" would be acceptable). Masters could usually get away with anything unless they were proven to be (by at least three impartial Masters - this is the way it was told to me, I was not there) a danger, a menace, and someone that the majority felt uncomfortable around. He would be further banned, no one could talk to him... but I digress.

While the above examples are possible (his parents home was a male-dom/feb-sub environment, or he lived in a environment like New York City, where the opportunities for this lifestyle would have been in full-bloom there and at that particular time in history), I think it is rather unlikely. There's the idea that someone 18 years of age when confronted with a naked femal who he finds attractive, is going to start "thinking with his GLANDS and not his brains).

Thus, I tend to take these claims with a pound and a half of salt, and carefully review what they have to say, either in a profile, or in a chat room, or where someone has some mail that seems fishy, that they would like me toi take a look at it. If it doesn't make sense, or is dead wrong, I will bring up alternative points of view, *then* make a general statement "some of the proceeding opinions.... were crap."

LOL... anyway ...

The other explanation (and I have seen this a lot) that it is also possible that he could have *developed and interest in the lifestyle* at 18. When asked about their actual experience in years, many become anxious and defensive, fearful that someone will see them as somehow "less" in they tell the truth. They will say something like, "I like my BDSM in private, so I do not to clubs, or munches, or social gatherings." This can also scream "syburrrrrrrrrrr-only " and/or "married", but I'll leave that for another thread.

I have talked to a lot of guys like that. (Now they run away from me LOL) I would explain to them that if 'first discovery' is how you are counting the years of your experience, then I have *51* years of experience (starting at age 5) starting with a game of Cowboys and Indians, and after having "captured" the Indian Maiden Princess, and then having *spanked* her...mercy, mercy, and not only did she not run away to tell her mother, but she *ground* her hips into mine.

But, that's another thread.

So that was "my first time", but that doesn't mean I have had 51 years of experience: between then and about 8 years ago, I would do rope and chains and spankings and sex with various partners, but I had not given it a generic name yet. So, I would never claim to have 51 years of experience, nor would I self-anoint myself with the title "Master."

Finally they just might be outright lying, saying this to puff themselves up in an effort to be more attractive to their prey (some fem-sub might think, "Whoa! With this dude, I will be safe") or because they feel a lack of self confidence.

I have seen threads before and over the years that talked about outing someone, who has done something bad to someone else, but this doesn't usually work (and shouldn't, much as someone can get under our skin: a person should be presumed innocent until proven guilty).

So how do we check out these people to, at the least ,determine that they are not a threat to anyone?

Or, should we even bother checking them out? If an inexperienced fem-sub comes along, and into BDSM, should we then go on the assumption that she hopefully is mature enough that she can watch out for herself ?

I would suggest getting a dialog going with the dude, and see if he in fact counting from the age of awareness (his first awareness), or if there is some other reason that we are missing.

So ... what are your feelings ? Thank you :)

Sincerely,

Lawrence
Ithaca, NY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lawrence111

Math never having been my forte', I grabbed the trusty calculator, did the math, I concluded that he is saying that he became a Master at age 18.

I am always suspicious of similar claims.

quote:


I would worry about an 18 year old male having been granted the complete freedom in the community to do whatever he wanted

quote:


There's the idea that someone 18 years of age when confronted with a naked femal who he finds attractive, is going to start "thinking with his GLANDS and not his brains).

quote:


Thus, I tend to take these claims with a pound and a half of salt, and carefully review what they have to say, either in a profile, or in a chat room, or where someone has some mail that seems fishy, that they would like me toi take a look at it.

quote:


If an inexperienced fem-sub comes along, and into BDSM, should we then go on the assumption that she hopefully is mature enough that she can watch out for herself ?