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I am new to this - 9/17/2008 9:26:46 PM

Esclava2one

Posts: 34
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline

Hello all i am new to this lifestyle. i am owned and have recently started having so many emotions in reference to my Master. my Master means so much to me and i want to please Him in every way, i need to give myself completely to Him. i believe i have a fear of completely letting go, i have always been in control and to give it all to someone else is the most frightening thing i have experienced and yet the most amazing thing i have experienced. i guess that is why my emotions are all over the place. i really want this so any advice would be much appreciated.

_____________________________

Only in service am i free.

*Proudly owned and collared by Master Brandon*

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RE: I am new to this - 9/17/2008 9:29:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Give it time and experience. Who told you that you had to be perfect in the first month? Year? Five years?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: I am new to this - 9/17/2008 9:33:44 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
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Or ever?

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RE: I am new to this - 9/18/2008 5:43:39 PM

wordstoponder

Posts: 56
Joined: 2/3/2008
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

To give oneself up in an act of surrender is very difficult, and something that I am struggling with myself. I've always felt a sense of urgency and need to keep telling myself (and Master keeps telling me) that I need to be patient. To surrender entirely requires one to submit first, and to submit requires trust. For me, my body has always been the first thing that I've given.. it is the easiest, thus the least meaningful. I am learning to let go, emotionally, to trust Him. I *know* that He has my best interests at heart, but part of me is still holding back.

I am eager to read the other replies to this post.

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RE: I am new to this - 9/18/2008 6:02:18 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Enjoy yourself, esclava.

The only advice that I can give you is that your issues seem to be with what you think you should be. Part of the wonder of being a slave is that that's not your responsibility. As long as you're what HE thinks you should be, it's all good.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: I am new to this - 9/18/2008 6:15:03 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Often what'll help is to express what the emotional turmoil you're experiencing to you Master. Allow yourself to open up a little more each time and let him see and know what you're thinking and feeling and fearing and expecting. Keeping emotions bottled up isn't good and it'll end up driving you crazy and he'll pick up on that. Part of surrendering control over to another is also surrendering our fears/hopes/expectations etc to our owner and letting them help us deal with the emotional roller coaster we go through. This was the main reason why my relationship with my former Master failed, partly because for some reason I wasn't able to let him in enough to allow myself to surrender that much of myself to another. The D/s relationship I have with my Sir is different, I do express my emotions especially when they get overwhelming and he is able to help me sort through them. In the same token he does the same and we find we have a strong base of trust in each other to further build on that.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

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RE: I am new to this - 9/19/2008 8:00:21 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esclava2one

Hello all i am new to this lifestyle. i am owned and have recently started having so many emotions in reference to my Master. my Master means so much to me and i want to please Him in every way, i need to give myself completely to Him. i believe i have a fear of completely letting go, i have always been in control and to give it all to someone else is the most frightening thing i have experienced and yet the most amazing thing i have experienced. i guess that is why my emotions are all over the place. i really want this so any advice would be much appreciated.

Did you come here and say this to us before you went to him?
TELL HIM !!
Trust, respect and openness begins and ends with the 2 of you.
Ask HIS advice, tell him first before you come here because we dont know either of you.

(in reply to Esclava2one)

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RE: I am new to this - 9/19/2008 10:28:33 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I have to admit, I was really surprised at all of the mixed emotions that I went through - I understand completely. What helped me most was allowing my trust in Him to grow, and to allow myself to lean on Him. It takes time, and I still get hit with new emotional blends when I am put in a new position of service, but I know that I am never dealing with it alone.

It sounds to me like you are doing a wonderful job so far, and you'll find that there are a lot of other slaves here ready to help you. Your main relationship, of course, needs to be with your Master - but being able to talk freely with others going through something similar can be a huge help. I know it has been for me.

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RE: I am new to this - 9/19/2008 12:39:00 PM

barryjon

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/16/2008
From: Durham UK
Status: offline

I am new too have just found my first Mistress less than a week ago. Have been all over the place these past few days.

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RE: I am new to this - 9/20/2008 9:25:42 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

For the OP and bj
http://www.steel-door.com/Frenzies.html

http://www.withinreality.com/enthrallment.html

http://www.steel-door.com/Dominant_Drop.html

http://societyofjanus.tribe.net/thread/fb57dc9d-7c6b-486b-8cac-e16c2c4553ce

http://www.submissiveloving.com/subfrenzy.html

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RE: I am new to this - 9/20/2008 11:40:40 AM

trisket

Posts: 15
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline

Enjoy the ride.. all of it. The emotional up and downs.. watch your self change.. Learn that your devotion will eventually know no boundaries. Smile.. take deep breathes,, pinch yourself. You are going to be everything you ever could be with the guidance of HIM that owns you. Just remember to always communicate.. even the trival things. They are HIS things to know.

Congrats to you and barryjon!

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RE: I am new to this - 9/20/2008 12:48:34 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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I know, believe me, the impulse to want to be able to give all and do it right now. It just doesn't happen that way in most cases. You need time together to build and strengthent your relationship. I had a thread up that I was attempting to learn how others came into their own as slaves a while back. The main thing is to be open with him so he can guide you through all this. It is not being perfect based on the ideal in your head, rather it is remaining the one his heart desires. Deep breaths and a good long talk. I wish you all the best.

lovingpet

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RE: I am new to this - 9/23/2008 6:51:57 AM

SrchngCpl73112

Posts: 47
Joined: 9/21/2008
Status: offline

I know exactly how you are feeling right now! I am very new to this too and I know that overwhelming need to please and to be perfect at all times and to do everything and be everything. It is very overwhelming! He has to tell me to slow down at times and that its ok to not be perfect every second of every day and that i dont have to do everything for him. He says i spoil him...i do spoil him...its my lifes work!!!! There are times that I try to take his plate to the kitchen or make his plate, just little things like that and he wont let me. He will do it himself just because he doesnt want me thinking i have to do every single thing for him all the time. I have to actually tell him that it pleases me to do those things for him. It has nothing to do with him wanting me to do it or ordering me to do anything, these are just things that come so naturally for me to do for him. My life is to make him happy and to please him in everything. I have to stand back and just breathe at times because the feelings i have in myself are so overwhelming. It is such a wonderful feeling to have this total love, committment, communication and trust. What a wonderful life!!! I wish i would have met him 15yrs ago!!!

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RE: I am new to this - 9/23/2008 7:06:44 AM

lizcgirl

Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline

All of that excitment and joy? Use it. Do little things to show that you're paying attention- whether it's to have his favorite drinks on hand when he comes over or it's to learn more about a technique he mentioned he likes. It's the small things, the desire to please, the effort that really makes an impact. Tell him how you're feeling, be honest and upfront, and get involved in some community, either online or in RL, just to get ideas, support, help when needed, etc. Just remember though that all relationships have the 'honeymoon' phase and D/s isn't any different. Make sure you get to know who he is and not ride blindly on the high of what appears to be perfect right now, that way when life throws a curve ball at you later your relationship will be strong enough to overcome it.

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Never make some one a priority when all you are to them is an option.

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