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ShadeDiva -> RE: Releasing the beast within (3/5/2006 3:49:51 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: buffiyum
greetings,
one is not sure if this is a subject already tackled.... one has found that during intense bdsm play, there is a 'beast' which seeks release from inside her. she only found this one other instance besides bdsm play and that was long ago during the sexual act. Now it is happening here on the cross at times and the more intense the scene, the more likely it is to emerge.
she wonder if others played with, have found this and also if Dominants have found that They have Beasts inside Themselves which appear during those momentes as well?
buffy had hoped that the beast within her was a wolf as Some of her best and dearest Friends, are Wolves (meant in a most respectful and good way to say this)..... but buffy is not a wolf (dangit), she is a wildcat and it seem that the type of animal is not a choice, at least for her.
That was the other part of the question also..... do Tthose who find there is a 'beast' inside which comes out during scenes, find that Tthey have little, if any, control over what kind of beast emerges?
respectfully,
buffy, whose inquiring mind wish to know
It's normal.
Many folks that engage in ARP (Animal RolePlay) either have roots with that very thing, or it rose from that experience.
Not ALL ARP is acting out the anmal or dressing up like one, and not all ARP revolves around BDSM either.
I have several animals within me. The main one is a wolf. Interesting enough though I enjoy doing ARP in the convential BDSM sense, it is always as a Handler/Trainer - and not as the animal.
My animals aren't something I dress up to feel or embrace. Often when we are playing very hard, my various predators within me will come roaring to the surface and yes, when there - they WILL go for a throat and seek to wrest dominance from the situation they find themselves in. And other times they simply feel SAFE to come out. And that part will come out and snuffle mentally around and just watch. And other times, they will stalk - I've had one submissive experience that and they found it very intense.
It's one reason I have to be careful with who I choose to top me and make sure someone that KNOWS me and my moods - like Ray - is there to intervene and bring me down, unless I have been restrained. There comes a point when I'm being scened REALLY hard where I *will* go for the person scening me. So either it's someone like Ray who can often see that pop into my eyes befire I even know I'm about to go there, or someone like him is standing by and watching so they can step in and handle me. It's also why we don't tend to play hard in public - it can scare people, it's very intense, there is a LOT of energy expelled, and the power of that energy just crackles and ripples and for those not used to that can be frightening since they don't have a frame of reference to understand it and I am incapable of explaining it until later.
Primal is a great word for it. And it IS spiritual for me. I am part native american so there is a shamanistic quality and essence to it for me as well that is very earthy and has a timeless feel to it.
It's pieces of me laid bare and they are some of my basest qualities, and at times they are VERY fluid - I can jump from one to the other very quickly, and other times it's just one making it's appearance.
So no, you are totally NOT alone. And for many of us it is a treasured and cherished piece of ourselves and our souls, as cheezy as it might sound, it is nonetheless very true.
I often wonder how I'd react differently, if I would - if that was tapped when I was in the wilderness - not a backyard, nothing urban or tamed or domesticated, but wild. I'm not sure of there would be more serenity or more energy or more of that roaring essence.
Hmm. I think I'm rambling again. Sorry!
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