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Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 12:34:46 PM   
nobleslave


Posts: 35
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		Hi all i canged my name again as for reasons that were pointed out in my last post i was wimpslave & djdavidnoble now its nobleslave as my surname is noble and i am a slave :)  

I would like to ask a question please what things are good to train yourself on while waiting on the one so when the time come's your 100% ready

Oh and are slave's allowed to smoke or is this forbidden

< Message edited by nobleslave -- 9/18/2008 12:35:37 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 12:59:39 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		First, just educate yourself on everything; from the philosophy and psychology of D/s and BDSM to its' practice.  Grab the books, I like "SM 101" by Jay Wiseman and "La Laisse: A Common Sense Approach to Dominance and Submission" by Soduire; especially for the beginners.  Take some courses on things like basic carpentry, auto-mechanics, plumbing etc...  Also, look into a courses on massage and first-aid.  Learn what gets this stain out of that material; learn how to do dishes and mob a floor, clean blinds and other basic house-keeping.  Read up on basic leather care.

Get all the information you can and try to figure out what you like, love, think you might like, hate, what scares you and whatever else.  Get to socials and munches and other events in order to get some real world experience with lifestylers and especially female dominants, I've found that simply meeting them in vanilla environs can do alot to dispel mystery and fantasy that leads to the pathetic behaviour that generally turns the women off.  Get some practice socializing with regular people in real life.

And if you've done all of that (which i haven't done a quarter of) and you finally find yourself in a relationship, you'll find that you're still no where near prepared because these are real people and this is a real relationship and there's no way to truly be 100 percent ready.

As far as smoking, that's up to the individual owner.  If you smoke and plan on continuing to do so, I'd recommend looking for a woman who also smokes; she'll be less likely to order you to quit.  This goes for pretty much all vices.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 9/18/2008 1:00:58 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 1:36:02 PM   
Sylverdawn


Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Vices...slaves have vices..nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to darchChylde)
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RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 1:48:37 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
Of course you will want to be fully ready when your future Mistress decides to take you into slavery.  First, you should shave your crotch and armpits.  You need to get used to the idea that your cock is no longer yours, so you must start either wearing panties or a pink ribbon or a hair bow around the base of it, so you are constantly trained into thinking that your cock is not yours.  Ever again.  You should also start pissing sitting down like a girl; the extra humility and humiliation will get your ego ready for total deflation.

Now, your ass. You will want your ass stretched and ready for the strap on violation.  So you should start wearing plugs every night for a half hour a time, using a lot of lube and making sure you increase the size weekly, so your ass is ready to take any size dildo she fancies.

As for cumming, well, you will not be allowed to cum when you have a Mistress as she is likely to put you in chastity. So you should start locking up your cock now and freezing the key for longer and longer periods of time.  When you remove the device, masturbate to the edge then practice backing off on it by whacking your balls and cock until you are no longer on the edge. 

Pain tolerance is another one.  Start clamping your nipples and putting ten - fifteen clothesins on your ballsac at least once a week so you can take great pain for her. She is going to likely want to crush your nuts under her shoe or in her palm...so get ready for ball busting.

Your mouth needs to be ready to take any size dildo, plastic, rubber or maybe even real cock some day. So learn to deep throat - start with smaller dildos and work your way up.  Practice it also using lipstick for added effect.  Watch yourself in the mirror...

Oh, should I continue? Or is that enough of the fantasy?

Yes, fantasy.

That's all a fantasy. Really.  None of that is true.  That's what most subs hope for though. It's a hot fantasy. It's not reality.

How should you prepare yourself?

Work out. Go to the gym.  Eat right.  Be well-read.  Take a class on etiquette.  Learn to give pedicures.  Know your way around  a good wine list.  Build your self confidence. See a stylist and get a modern look that women like.  Read about the psychology behind BDSM.  Not quite as fun and sexy, is it? It's just like getting a vanilla girlfriend, only harder.

Smoking?  Yeah, quit.  If a woman likes a smoker you can always start again.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 1:54:32 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		*sits giggling after reading Akasha's post, having been wondering who would go that route*

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 3:18:20 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I'd suggest both the last paragraph of Aakasha's post, ALL of darchChyldes post -- and shaving -everything-, but that's just me...

As far as the smoking... if you have the initiative to quit now, I'd go for it. You can always start up later if you're allowed, but frankly, many dominant women prefer servants who do -not- smoke. If you're really -attached- to your cigarettes and not really motivated to quit, hone your other talents. Though they are less common, there are a number of women who will either take your smoking in hand themselves, or who will have no issue with you smoking. It just reduces the pool of women you'll have to select from.

DO read through the profiles of women you see posting and whom you have come to respect... it will give you some sense of the breadth and depth of what female domination can look like, and will also help you to develop a sense of what you might like or what feels wrong or uncomfortable to you in terms of possible relationships.

I'm also going to recommend something that is not often recommended. We've become so serious and literal that many of us have forgotten how to use our imaginations as a tool to help us during decision-making processes. When you visit profiles, and read through them, spend some time imagining yourself in the situations they describe. Think about how you might behave, how you might handle the things that are required by that person, and think about what skills are called for that you don't yet have and start learning about the ones that interest you.

Calla Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 3:38:08 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		I'd like to add that beyond basically bettering yourself as a man, not as a slave (I make the distinction because improving yourself is always a good thing, but I believe that if you are appealing as a man your mistress will help make you into the submissive/slave that she wants you to be); I recommend that you seek, instead of just any dominant woman who will take you, but one that is well suited to you and that you feel a genuine connection with.

I've seen that too many people on this side of the slash are so eager that they will jump into a relationship with any person calling themselves dominant just to get a beating or feel that sense of being controlled, or whatever they might be looking for.  When you get into a relationship with someone who wants to change everything about you, neither you nor she will be satisfied in the long run and will most likely end badly. 

You might think "Ok, so then I'll have made a mistake but I'll be able to move on and learn from it."; and while that's not necessarily the truth, it could very well sour you to the lifestyle or actually make you look less appealing as a submissive/slave in your local community.  A bad break-up in the lifestyle and you can easily get a reputation as a wanna-be, do-me or willful submissive/slave; all because you jumped into a relationship that didn't fit you.  Even worse, you could very well end up believing that you're just not good enough.

Even though you're a slave, it does not mean that you don't have a right to be as selective as any dominant or even more.  After all, who is it that's going to be put into situations of great vulnerability?


< Message edited by darchChylde -- 9/18/2008 3:40:28 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 3:45:42 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Really really good advice given here  

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 6:13:23 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I would volunteer at local events and functions. If you can afford it, you can also go to weekend events and volunteer there. They are great places to  meet new people.

As to the smoking, that will depend on who you end up with.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/18/2008 7:16:41 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I would volunteer at local events and functions. If you can afford it, you can also go to weekend events and volunteer there. They are great places to meet new people.



Very good suggestion, I'd also like to add that you'll often get into the events at a free or discounted rate when you volunteer.


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/19/2008 4:45:46 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nobleslave

Oh and are slave's allowed to smoke or is this forbidden

Only if their Mistress sets them on fire...

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/19/2008 5:03:48 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I recommend almost anything from Greenery Press especially "The New Bottoming" book for people at the introductory levels of BDSM.

Also find a local or regional munch and educational/support group and start attending regularly. It will feel awkward the first 2 to 3 times you go but once you start to go regularly it will stop feeling awkward and you become "one of the regulars".

Note: This doesn't mean to just to any old munch or group. Do some research first and attend several, compare them then pick 2 or 3 to start attending regularly.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/19/2008 8:25:29 AM   
HotMistress22


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		I don't think you should put that kind of pressure on yourself to be 100% ready.  Every Domme is different and all have unique preferences.  It's not an easy task to find the right Domme for you.  One that enjoys the same play you do, so I would reccommend you just learn more about the activities that arouse you and look for a Female who enjoys the same.  Not to say you shouldn't always be willing to learn and do things to please your Domme, even if they are not at the top of your list.

Until then, treat all Females with respect.  Hold doors open, tell them how beautiful they look and how much you appreciate them.  If you have the heart of a true submissive, the rest will follow.

As far as smoking, I would find it very offensive as I do not smoke.  Smoking is a very bad habit.  If you do not care enough about yourself to quit and be healthy, then how can you care for your future Domme?  A big stinky, red flag.

_____________________________

Come see Me at:
http://www.MistressPlanet.com
Where Dreams Come True.

(in reply to nobleslave)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/19/2008 3:33:29 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Oh Gawd not the shaving thing!!!! lol  Personally, I would wait to see what the potential dominant wants and likes. I absolutely can not stand a shaved crotch on ANYONE and shaved pits on a man would send me over the top... and not in a good way. Hell, I even like facial hair and think long hair on a man is awesome...
 
Darch, and some of the others, gave you some incredible advice, I know it isn't possible to do everything they suggested, but as they said... just improving yourself and learning new skills is a huge plus. But as you can see, what female dominants want is different for every one of us. We're all smokers here... so to us that would be a plus, where the non-smokers are kind of an issue.
 
I think the biggie here is to understand your self completely. Study and learn about all kinds of things, but make sure you know you really well. What do you need in a relationhip? What can you give up or learn to accept? I think you are getting off to a great start by reading and posting on the message boards.. now all you have to do is learn from it.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to HotMistress22)
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RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/19/2008 4:10:07 PM   
StrictnSaucy


Posts: 363
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline 		To add to the already great advice given - I would hold off on looking for a ltr with a Domme for a period of time.  While attending events and hopefully for you experiencing different play I would take the time to get to know this new side of you.  This will give you time to really figure out what it is you are looking for and give you the confidence that all of us Dommes look for.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Good Ways To Train Your Self - 9/20/2008 3:48:10 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
...

One should be also aware that self-preparation and self-training, if pushed too far, may make a person be too demanding on the part of relationship's everyday they learned to do alone, thus losing the part they cannot. They might also become self-sufficient, through they'd need certain predisposition for that.


_____________________________

codename: ********

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 16
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