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RE: loving a ghost - 9/18/2008 5:45:08 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

One comment was made at the weekend by a Domme friend who said "I couldn't have you before, because you were his, and now I can't have you because you are yours".



This is quite a point in itself.  It shows how strong and together you are.   You picked yourself, dusted yourself off, and are You again.    

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: loving a ghost - 9/18/2008 5:51:51 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I am sorry to hear of this, softness.  I also wanted to validate how real both your relationship and emotions about it are.  I have been married twice.  Both grew under the constraints of long distances.  It didn't matter that we were physically separated.  What mattered was the time spent together and the intimacy shared.  I tend to think we communicated more than the average couple simply because words were all we had so much of the time.  We talked endlessly on so many important subjects and knew the most mundane details about each other.  We always seemed to be preparing for next time.  We were careful in spending money so we could afford it.  We would occassionally want to dress for a certain event and put time in to be ready.  We wrangled fun things to do, sleeping arrangements, and more.  We were never far from each other's minds just because we were anticipating future days.

I cried myself out and slipped into very dark places after the death of my first husband.  Despite how things went with us, I missed him in ways that were beyond what I considered the usual experience.  We had bonded in ways unique to having to span the distance.  Maybe he always was a ghost in some ways.  I know things were very different when things came to a day to day level.  Our bond and our feelings, however, can never be questioned.

Hope you are feeling back to center soon.

lovingpet

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: loving a ghost - 9/18/2008 10:45:28 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Softness,
You have cm-mail.

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: loving a ghost - 9/19/2008 6:26:08 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Softness, your strength continues to impress me no end.  I wish I was lucky enough to know you  (and Misst!) in person.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: loving a ghost - 9/19/2008 6:39:06 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		softness~

...sigh.
i wish there were something magical i could say.
There simply isn't.
*hug*

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: loving a ghost - 9/19/2008 6:45:20 AM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you for being so eloquent and sharing this part of yourself with us, softness.

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(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: loving a ghost - 9/19/2008 6:51:22 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Softness,

You are one hot woman and if you were local to me, I would be inviting you out for coffee to offer my condolences and would of course in no way flirt with you, not one bit.  Throw your head back, be proud of who you are, enjoy the good, forget the bad and live life to the fullest.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: loving a ghost - 9/19/2008 7:00:23 AM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hi softness,  I can empathize with you.  I have been there, as well a time or two.  It looks like you are handling things very well.  I hope you will always find yourself surrounded by the people who are able to reflect your strength & dignity back to you.  I know only too well, how real & raw those emotions can be whether you are involved in long distance or not.  Those feelings can sometimes be stronger because people are able to get to know one another, sometimes on a much deeper level.  Even though, I really don't know you other than through your posts here, you are in my thoughts & prayers. 

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: loving a ghost - 9/19/2008 7:03:07 AM   
tia111


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline 		hello softness. I don't know either you or DV but i wanted to tell you that i can understand the matter in which you have dealt with this lose. It seems i never behave or think or feel what others expect of me. I have even been called cold which bothered me greatly because i do not consider myself to be a cold person. You mourned. You dealt with things your way. You sound like a strong and lovely woman with whom I detect none of the bitterness or scorn that many would feel. Your spirit shines. 

_____________________________

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~Henry Ford

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: loving a ghost - 9/19/2008 10:04:02 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Wow, that can be an empty feeling that sticks around a while.  I hope that you can get passed this with relative contentment.  But honestly, you seem like a strong and confident woman.  And by all accounts you have a good source of people who love you, and people you can call friends to help you through this.
Good thoughts are being sent your way from across the globe.
Andrea

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: loving a ghost - 9/19/2008 12:29:01 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		It's funny how things work...

I've never been one of those who discounted LDRs.  All 3 of my submissives have been long-distance and it didn't change the fact that we were in a relationship. Yes, seeing each other helped...I won't deny that...but as someone else noted on here, the time spent communicating with each other because that was what we had to do in order to maintain the relationship seemed to make for feelings of closeness and sharing that many people who see each other every day do not have. 

A relationship is a relationship and it is up to the two people involved to make it work according to what they have to work with.  While distance may have been a problem, it does not sound...from your description...as if it was the main problem.  Rather, something else, just as it happens in 24/7 relationships, reared its ugly head.

I'll think good thoughts for you and send you my best wishes.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 31
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