|
stella41b -> RE: Long-Distance Relationship Advice Wanted (9/24/2008 3:49:30 AM)
|
It never ceases to amaze me all those people who claim that they would never have a long distance relationship or that x amount of miles or travelling time is too far. How do you know? What if someone turned you and your life upside down so much you'd change your tune?
This is what some people experience and all I would suggest is don't knock something you don't understand. Never say never.
And when it comes to love there is ALWAYS a way. And it takes just that to find it. Love.
The longer the distance the bigger the sacrifice. Often it's worth it. How many of you out there can reach out, take your other half by the hand, and together sit and nod in agreement to these words?
Four things come to mind in my opinion to help you make it through - contact, communication, integrity and patience. Intimacy between two people doesn't really mean lying naked in a bedroom next to someone you've only just met, it rather means baring your soul and making that naked privately with your partner, irrespective of whether they are standing in front of you or are on the other side of the world, it's being able to share openly what you think and feel with that other person by whatever means.
It's not music, but intimacy which is the food of love. When it comes to being emotionally needy many people will tell you to love yourself, and though loving yourself is the first step to being able to share love with someone else it's being able to share that special intimacy or closeness which makes you feel loved or special in some way. Everybody needs someone.
I recently became involved with a gay man in his late 30's. He was homeless, in a rolling night shelter, terminally ill, and so ill that there was no way he was ever going to make it out of that shelter due to the HIV , substance issues and other health related problems. The staff wanted him in a hospice, he wanted to die on the streets or somewhere among his friends. This led to a conflict. It reached the stage where he was prepared to take his own life by slashing his wrists. We took it in turn to get him to drop the blades. I managed to get the blades off him by giving him a hug, holding him close to me. He hadn't been held for some years. However less than an hour later he was dead. He had taken an overdose.
This underscores something that we tend to overlook, life is short, very short, and it's often best to come right out with those feelings and say what you mean before it's too late. But it also underlines that need for intimacy which we all share and have in common, something which is very necessary and essential for our own happiness.
And when you are many miles apart that intimacy can only come from those four things - contact, communication, integrity and patience. There is nothing between people which cannot be found or solved in some way other than by love. It will always find a way if you let it.
|
|
|
|
