Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Understanding why subs do flake


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Understanding why subs do flake Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Understanding why subs do flake - 9/19/2008 2:04:48 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
Another thread, and my own personal observations, led me to start this other thread regarding dealing with disappearing subs.

I think many (most) of the issues related to subs disappearing (other than being married or lying in a huge way about something) have to do with a lack of ability to deal with the cyclical nature of desires.  I am surely not the only one to have a submissive disappear without warning - then, REAPPEAR a few weeks later (usually between 3 and 5 weeks later, like clockwork) and ask for forgiveness, in an "I don't know what I was thinking.." moment.  And then sometimes they do this AGAIN.  Or, their ability to simply be prompt, pay attention, seem "engaged," work, etc. fluctuates from overeagerness ("down boy! Heel! Calm down!") to apparent laziness followed by overeager apology and desperation.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

What is this, anyway?

I speculate that some submissive men don't understand the cyclical nature of desire. For many (me, included) S&m "urges" can range from mindblowinly distracting ("I MUST express this kink, if I do not get this out of my system I will explode") to just a low hum in the background ("Yeah...bondage, it's fun. I'm up for it if I am not too busy..." or even the other extreme, "Hm, I really kinda don't feel all that kinky any more, weird.").

I think some subs hit a high, then a low (again, I do this, quite often, if I get a huge lust for S&M out of my system and hit a recovery period) and it almost seems like the desires not only are NOT that distracting, but they become a very low priority. Until the cycle hits again, and then once again, it's like you feel like you will die if you don't express it. This explains how some submissives can be passionate, desperate, so eager to serve that it's mind blowing - then really, just basically go away.  They haven't had enough experience with this cycle to know that - guess what, it's coming back. Just you wait.

This is the same cycle that leads many kinky men to purge their toys.  Along with that is deleting their account here.  They lived and breathed it for some time, they IMMERSED themselve in it, they managed to somehow scratch the itch, woke up one day and felt better about it, and it wasn't clouding their thinking. Of course, their instinct is to put away the toys (or throw them away) and just pretend it didn't happen.

Ah, shit.  Then it comes back.  Plan B?  Go back to those you connected with..and beg.  BEG!  "This time, it will be different, I promise!"  Their need and hunger is even stronger than before because they had a little taste and now they need it. They swear it will NEVER happen again. 

But it does.

This is the nature of the desires for many of us. If I had a shred of ambivalence or uneasiness about my "kinky me", I know that when I first started to pay attention to these urges, the first few times I scratched the itch I would have sworn I was done with kink the next day. I just felt better.  It wasn't a huge distraction any longer.  It simply went away. Interesting, fun? Yes.  But painfully distracting, like a hunger? No.  Not right away.  But I kept track on a calendar and in a journal, and it always came back. Now I know how it works and I can set my calendar by it.  I can't guess how many days of the month, but I know if I got 10 days with relatively quiet urges, they will start to rumble before two weeks goes by.  Three weeks? Never gone that long.  On average, 1/2 to 2/3 of the month I am "really in the mood to be doing S&M" with at least 5 of those days certifyable "ravenous."  If I were to only pursue and maintain relationships in those 5 days, I would be an incredible flake.

So I have to politely maintain those relationships as best I can. I am just as guilty for letting them slide a little if I am on a down cycle - because let's face it, "life" piled up when I was so focussed on getting my rocks off, and I have to get back to life and those priorities I blew off to mercilessly pursue feeding my lust. So partners may feel pushed aside or dissed; I have to remember to tell them I am still here, the beast will be back, it's just hibernating a few days.

This is just a theory. If men just disappeared and stayed disappeared, I would theorize that they just flaked or got caught in a lie. The back and forth thing suggests they are dealing with the shifting priorities of their lust.

Any thoughts?

Akasha



_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/19/2008 2:30:23 PM   
mzbehavin


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, thank you for this post. I hadnt thought of it like that but you must be right. It stands to reason.. Life in general is cyclic, i know i personally am very cyclic. This is the first time i've read this thought form, and i appreciate the structure. Thank you again.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/19/2008 2:45:51 PM   
houstonmalesub


Posts: 10
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline 		Aakasha,

First of all, I love your writings.  Great stuff.

I've come and gone before.  Numbers of times.  Much of it stems from dealing with people who can't maintain a consistent friendship even, communicate ineffectively or have an inability to state clearly and reasonably what they desire or seek and how to get there. 

I also speak with people who expect the unreasonable.

I, fortunately, can take or leave it all.  And I'm thankful that I have that ability.  I just don't tolerate the BS, even if means me missing out of something that is potentially good for a season.

Jon

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/19/2008 8:41:07 PM   
anam


Posts: 13
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		 Dear Femdom Abby (Would that be Abey? ),

I find this topic engaging, primarily because I suspect I may be part of the mental stats of a lovely Domme who ceased contact with me some time ago. I haven't read the other thread about this yet, but if it helps anyone's understanding, I'll try to explain my part of the equation. While I may have made a poor choice, I don't quite think of myself as "flaking" (if that suggests a lack of courage or backbone), and as I ponder whether there's anything I might do about this ongoing sub-crush I have on this Domme, I resist the posture of begging.

Let me start by saying that I live in a pretty isolated place, and while I've been a member of CM for a good while, and have had some great and heady dialogue, I still consider myself a 40-something virgin. So...said Domme and I had some regular (daily for a the better part of a month, if I recall) dialogue about mutual interests, and a little edgy stuff about vulnerabilities. Then I went on a trip, and for a couple of weeks and was out of touch. She expressed a bit of disappointment in me (but I had taken a position of thinking that it was my role to respond rather than initiate, and so assumed I hadn't kept her interest). After hearing of her disappointment, I guess I gave up hope that she was in any way serious about getting to know my pysche, and -- here's the flake chapter--asked her if she were interested in helping to craft a note to help me get real via Craigslist. I know, I know. But, as Aakasha so aptly described, I was in a period of hunger, and having experience yet another online half-communication, was losing faith in cyber talk as path to anything real. At that point, she mentioned that she was no stranger to subs "flaking" and has since blocked correspondence from me.

Did I flake? I think I lost faith in her intentions or hopes for me. Having no physical, present, local experience to speak of, I was stunned to know that she was even taking me seriously enough to be disappointed. I'm thinking a lot about this issue of desires fluctuating, but for me, I think it's faith that fluctuates. As I occasionally scan emails from subs who lose faith, I suspect there a more than a few of us who grapple with this tension between proper humility and the faith that things can be real. In this case, I wouldn't even suggest this Domme flaked -- she's an uncannily skilled communicator, which is what just kills me about her--but there's something in the mix here that feels like it's more nuanced than just sine curves of desire. At least from this distance!

Thanks for this thread. I'll read on with interest.

anam

(in reply to houstonmalesub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/19/2008 10:08:56 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting idea. I never thought if it that way, but my interest does wax and wan. I thought it was just me. For me it seems to have a lot to do with stress and energy level.

(in reply to anam)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/20/2008 5:25:40 AM   
shivermetimbers


Posts: 2060
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		I think you touched on some very valid points.  I'd also like to submit (pardon the pun) some additional food for thought.  Of course, many men fantasize about submitting to a Dominant Woman, thinking of a world of wild kinky sex.  They finally get that courage up, join a few sites, get involved, start putting out feelers.  Then lo and behold, they actually get some interest.  Now they are faced with a touch of reality, and start thinking about their drinking buddies, their bowling nights, their golf afternoons, and Sundays watching football with the guys.  They start to realize, wow, I'm going to be missing all of this now. It's as if they lose their "manliness" if they do get involved.  Of course many are just wankers with a new form of entertainment by goofing off on web sites, or married men looking for a new thrill. But for those with some sincerity, the thought of "giving up" a big part of their life is a powerful pull, because they probably focus in on the profiles that seem to suggest they will have to give everything up to get into this realm of life.  They see life in servitude, and weigh it against their current situation.  When they disappear, they think no way could they give it up.  Sure as the sun rises, a few weeks later, they feel that draw again, perhaps even with more resolve to chase that goal of servitude, only to once again fold because they are the president of the fantasy football league, and the members of the league want them back.  Their resolve is once again weakened.

What they don't seem to understand is that they don't have to give up anything, they simply have to look for someone who can accomodate, even participate in their activities.  Perhaps they focus on the profiles that are the "my way or the highway" types, and kind of lump all Dommes together in that they all will never allow their subs anything that they enjoy in day to day pursuits. The classic thinking with one head, not realizing that in the vast majority of cases, they are not going to be bound, shackled, or caged 24/7.  They haven't learned that in the long run it is a person they are talking to, not a persona.  They see submitting to someone equates to being emasculated.  They don't understand that every Domme is not for every sub, and vice versa. 

It just seems that for some of these flakey men, it's the fear of what they think they will lose is greater than joy they could experience. 

This is just an opinion of mine, and it certainly doesn't apply to every case, just a possible reason in some of the cases where guys flake out.











_____________________________

I love you Deanna, you make every day a better day.

If we descended from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ3CJi0Ih9s&feature=player_embedded

http://www.thebuccozone.com/piratesong.htm

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/20/2008 6:49:30 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Great insight.  I'm very happy with my boy coming to see me about once every 3 or 4 weeks.  Seems to be a very good cycle for both of us.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/20/2008 7:06:37 AM   
LadyZee


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think subs flake for the myriad reasons anyone does:
- they realize they don't really want to do what they have suggested/agreed/said they did (fantasy vs. reality)
- they are afraid
- their vanilla life intervenes 
- they lose interest

I believe it happens more often with those with limited or no experience...as you have described.  Desire happens and they reach out, when faced with the reality (or possibility) of their enacting their desires they panic ("I just can't do this") and put away the toys and thoughts until they realize it is not something they can live without.  Cycle begins anew. 

At dinner once with a switch, he mentioned a meeting that the prospective submissive cancelled at the last minute.  Rather than being upset about the flaking, he was compassionate as he understood that insecurity and panic that one can sometimes feel when embarking on this journey.  After this conversation, I was less bothered by the flakiness.  I will excuse one flake-out but twice means that the opportunity with me is lost and I will be clear about exactly why.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/20/2008 7:21:36 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		For me coping with this tides is a part of slave's job description. i admit there are times when i enjoy more or less the servitude, and in the beginning i had 'my moments' also (still, never hiding or running away, just being honest). But that's the point either... today i have no doubt on how a Mistress, and Her slave in the end, should prioritize his enjoyment. And simply because in the first place he come crawling to Her feet, not to the ******* Disneyland. For me the joy certainly comes later from the knowledge i did well.

And i knew it is not just me. i was observing it too on my first M.

However, being busy *just* because you have a job that needs to get done or being ill ARE excuses for not being in turn for more than letting your M you still belong to Her/Him by doing small things.


_____________________________

codename: ********

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/20/2008 7:43:05 AM   
subtex


Posts: 129
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Dallas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers

I think you touched on some very valid points.  I'd also like to submit (pardon the pun) some additional food for thought.  Of course, many men fantasize about submitting to a Dominant Woman, thinking of a world of wild kinky sex.  They finally get that courage up, join a few sites, get involved, start putting out feelers.  Then lo and behold, they actually get some interest.  Now they are faced with a touch of reality, and start thinking about their drinking buddies, their bowling nights, their golf afternoons, and Sundays watching football with the guys.  They start to realize, wow, I'm going to be missing all of this now. It's as if they lose their "manliness" if they do get involved.  Of course many are just wankers with a new form of entertainment by goofing off on web sites, or married men looking for a new thrill. But for those with some sincerity, the thought of "giving up" a big part of their life is a powerful pull, because they probably focus in on the profiles that seem to suggest they will have to give everything up to get into this realm of life.  They see life in servitude, and weigh it against their current situation.  When they disappear, they think no way could they give it up.  Sure as the sun rises, a few weeks later, they feel that draw again, perhaps even with more resolve to chase that goal of servitude, only to once again fold because they are the president of the fantasy football league, and the members of the league want them back.  Their resolve is once again weakened.



That was the same thing I was thinking.  Not in all cases but a lot of them.  I think if you combine what you said and what AAkasha said it would account for a lot of the flakes.  I've never flaked but I can imagine I might have in my youth if I had a Dominant that I could have flaked on.  Because back then I thought of a dominant woman as someone all powerful that I had to obey even though I didn't know her very well.  Yeah that's kind of scary.  Luckily the internet didn't become popular till I matured a little.  I think I found my bearings on a forum like this on Compuserve.

Bill




(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/20/2008 8:01:06 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shivermetimbers

I think you touched on some very valid points.  I'd also like to submit (pardon the pun) some additional food for thought.  Of course, many men fantasize about submitting to a Dominant Woman, thinking of a world of wild kinky sex.  They finally get that courage up, join a few sites, get involved, start putting out feelers.  Then lo and behold, they actually get some interest.  Now they are faced with a touch of reality, and start thinking about their drinking buddies, their bowling nights, their golf afternoons, and Sundays watching football with the guys.  They start to realize, wow, I'm going to be missing all of this now. It's as if they lose their "manliness" if they do get involved.  Of course many are just wankers with a new form of entertainment by goofing off on web sites, or married men looking for a new thrill. But for those with some sincerity, the thought of "giving up" a big part of their life is a powerful pull, because they probably focus in on the profiles that seem to suggest they will have to give everything up to get into this realm of life.  They see life in servitude, and weigh it against their current situation.  When they disappear, they think no way could they give it up.  Sure as the sun rises, a few weeks later, they feel that draw again, perhaps even with more resolve to chase that goal of servitude, only to once again fold because they are the president of the fantasy football league, and the members of the league want them back.  Their resolve is once again weakened.

What they don't seem to understand is that they don't have to give up anything, they simply have to look for someone who can accomodate, even participate in their activities.  Perhaps they focus on the profiles that are the "my way or the highway" types, and kind of lump all Dommes together in that they all will never allow their subs anything that they enjoy in day to day pursuits. The classic thinking with one head, not realizing that in the vast majority of cases, they are not going to be bound, shackled, or caged 24/7.  They haven't learned that in the long run it is a person they are talking to, not a persona.  They see submitting to someone equates to being emasculated.  They don't understand that every Domme is not for every sub, and vice versa. 

It just seems that for some of these flakey men, it's the fear of what they think they will lose is greater than joy they could experience. 

This is just an opinion of mine, and it certainly doesn't apply to every case, just a possible reason in some of the cases where guys flake out.


You know? This exactly fits what one male did. His real saving grace was that he called to talk about what he had done. In the beginning of the conversation he asked me, no matter what he said, to not allow him to come visit. He did things like that on a whim and scared himself. He admitted that meeting me wasn't anything like he expected/fantisized it would be. I'm just a person, like everyone else. But because it didn't meet his "fantasy" he was terrified, not having any idea what to expect. So he left. He was here a whole 15 minutes and then took off like a frightened deer. We talked via email a few more times, then he disappeared. Well, he's back with a different nic now, he's contacted me, told me who he was but still seems just as scared as he did before. Yeah, I'll still communicate with him, he is so intent on learning and getting past his terror. At least he was honest about what was going on and that, to me, is the most valuable thing.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to shivermetimbers)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/20/2008 10:55:48 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

This is just a theory. If men just disappeared and stayed disappeared, I would theorize that they just flaked or got caught in a lie. The back and forth thing suggests they are dealing with the shifting priorities of their lust.



I think this is a very valid point.  Interestingly, a male sub friend and I were talking about this same subject a few weeks ago and he proposed the very same theory.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyZee

I think subs flake for the myriad reasons anyone does:
- they realize they don't really want to do what they have suggested/agreed/said they did (fantasy vs. reality)
- they are afraid
- their vanilla life intervenes 
- they lose interest



Yes, I think all of these are plausible reasons as well
 
In addition, I think that sometimes a sub gets into a relationship with another Mistress and drops off the radar for a while to see if things will work out with her.  When they don't, his profile pops back up and he resumes his search.  The sub may be too embarassed to let the other Dommes he had contacted in the past know what happened because:
  • they were't his first choice during the initial go-around
  • he decided things weren't working with the Mistress he had been serving and doesn't want other Dommes to think he's overly picky
  • the other Mistress released him for a good reason and he doesn't want other Dommes knowing this or trying to contact her

To get around this, he may try just popping back up in the inboxes of Dommes he had contacted in the past, with no explanation for his absence.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/20/2008 2:46:22 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Truth is that there's lots of reason of why people flake out and one of them can be considered as the "online get your rocks off syndrome" Another is that the people who do so as anam said "virgins" or with a lesser experience and when it comes to the real deal it can make them get the cold feet. From my part i do fall in the same category of learning to deal with that part of me and any person that i come in contact with i would like to explore the motives of that happening.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/21/2008 11:06:45 AM   
AllforFun


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/5/2007
Status: offline 		Akasha,

I think you hit the nail on the head here. I have the EXACT same thing. At first I thought it was maybe the seasons?
For me it seemed that fall and spring were BIG triggers. Then I thought it was the phases of the moon (I know, silly).

I dont know what the cycle is because I have never mapped it. I do know that IT IS cyclic and I have exhibited some of the behaviors you describe. Sometime the cycle doesnt return for awhile so I can go for long periods before I break down. But like that best of olden, When I feel the call.....I return to my primal ways. ;)

(in reply to petpete)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/21/2008 2:48:43 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AllforFun

Akasha,

I think you hit the nail on the head here. I have the EXACT same thing. At first I thought it was maybe the seasons?
For me it seemed that fall and spring were BIG triggers. Then I thought it was the phases of the moon (I know, silly).

I dont know what the cycle is because I have never mapped it. I do know that IT IS cyclic and I have exhibited some of the behaviors you describe. Sometime the cycle doesnt return for awhile so I can go for long periods before I break down. But like that best of olden, When I feel the call.....I return to my primal ways. ;)


I'm glad I am not the only one that feels like this...hehe. I have talked to a few other femdoms who have cycles too.  It's the one reason I never even really seriously considered becoming a dominatrix for fee, no matter how attractive it sounded as a corporate-ladder-burn-out femdom in my mid 20s. I thought it could be ideal - working for myself, all those toys, doing something I enjoyed intensely. But, then, on "downswing" days I could not imagine how I would "fake" being in that mood. When I am not in the mood, I just am not. It does not mean I don't find some pleasure or amusement in the same things, but I certainly don't have a distracting, relentless *hunger* consuming me.  That's when it is BEST in my opinion.  I applaud the ladies that can bring that energy every day.  I just couldn't do it, it takes too much out of me.

And clearly it's an "all over mood," and it seeps into every bit of my real life world.  I described it in my journals in college, trying to figure out just why it came and went- was it PMS, the moon, stress, lack of sleep?  Or just random?  The one thing I knew was that it was an essence, not a mood. It affects my whole being and makes me see things through a lens that colors everything.  Music seems different, I wake up feeling different, foods taste richer.  Hockey games are different; I feel the cool air differently, I can smell the ice, I see every slightly twinge of discomfort in the players that are in front of me (other times, I just watch from a strategic POV).   I sit in the same monthly corporate boardroom meeting and have for several years, with mostly the same people. Why is it that sometimes my head is my notes and in my work, and other times I find myself staring at the same young ad exec, imagining what he'd look like tied up?  Same situation, different pair of glasses.

It's like being *horny*, but it's not for sex, it's for domination.  Moreso, it's like being a *vampire*, and seeing men as a potential victim, and their mere presence seems to tease me and taunt me and make me distracted.  And orgasms do NOT make it go away.  The only thing that makes it go away is very, very intense BDSM.   I don't have any real experience with drugs, but the "all over" feeling makes me think it's like being on a drug; same person, but all my senses are tweaked.

I'm not complaining. I love it.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to AllforFun)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/21/2008 6:37:55 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		The bottom line is that men are not complicated and there are no mixed messages. If he doesn't ask you out, call you soon after a date, or want to come inside with you after a date, then he's just not that into you.

I think this might be transferable to BDSM relationships as well.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 9/21/2008 6:39:02 PM >

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/21/2008 7:36:18 PM   
JerryFrankster


Posts: 188
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

The bottom line is that men are not complicated and there are no mixed messages. If he doesn't ask you out, call you soon after a date, or want to come inside with you after a date, then he's just not that into you.

I think this might be transferable to BDSM relationships as well.



Men are just as complicated as women, and that book is total crap.


_____________________________

Prosecutors will be Transgressicuted!

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/21/2008 8:11:24 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JerryFrankster

Men are just as complicated as women.



Truer words were never spoken.

(in reply to JerryFrankster)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/21/2008 10:50:43 PM   
boy4you2use


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline 		I have no where near the experience most, if not all, of Y(y)ou have.  But, I'll throw in my 2 bits.
I flake because She wants money. This goes back to some of You Dominant Women hating the idea of inexperienced women jumping on the band wagon. There are a lot of women that are just greedy, and see BDSM as a ticket to easy money.  I've met those women.


(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Understanding why subs do flake - 9/21/2008 10:53:08 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boy4you2use

I have no where near the experience most, if not all, of Y(y)ou have.  But, I'll throw in my 2 bits.
I flake because She wants money. This goes back to some of You Dominant Women hating the idea of inexperienced women jumping on the band wagon. There are a lot of women that are just greedy, and see BDSM as a ticket to easy money.  I've met those women.




Well, if you've already agreed before hand on a tribute, and you flake, you still don't have an excuse. ^_^


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to boy4you2use)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Understanding why subs do flake Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094