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Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 10:49:27 AM   
Hekatonkheires


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline 		A question, for those of you active in the boards... how do you consider those of us who've chosen not to join in the conversations (at least, not yet chosen to)?

As I glance at profiles that interest me, I've taken up the habit of looking at any forum conversations they've joined. I read them, and I see more of the person - the mind - unfold before me. On one hand, I see some context to what she (my particular interest, thank you) says of herself. On the other hand, I haven't arrived at a comfortable level to believe I'm gathering a better 'picture' of her than a private conversation.

Your comments are appreciated.
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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 10:58:28 AM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline 		Ooooh... Who's "she"?

I'll say its a pretty smart way gathering information. However, its likely that you will not learn very much, and constantly waiting for new posts can get real boring.

So just go for it! Be yourself! Any amount of info on her won't get you anywhere if she doesn't like you in the first place.


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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 10:59:14 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		i odn't think any less or more of a poster or a non poster.  posting does tend to show the personality of the poster though.  as far as knowing someone intimately just from their posts, i don't think that is possible, depending on your opinion of intimacy i suppose.

the forums are a way to have fun and goof off...at least for me, i try really hard to stay away from things that get my ire up.  it's fun and you should jump in!

regarding your title...i'm a loud one lol.

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 11:02:08 AM   
trisket


Posts: 15
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		Honestly, I think what you are doing.. using the forum posts to observe your potential interests, is a great idea.  So many times when we privately converse with new people we try to impress or hold back.  By viewing past discussion responses, you get : 1) insight on their views to things  2) their manner of speaking and their attitude in general.  That has to help you see them a little clearer.  I say it is a great reference/asset to utilize.  Nothing will ever take the place of direct, one on one relating and time to see how they behave and react.. verses what is easily said.  Learning people is worth taking the time to do it well.  All avenues are beneficial.

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 11:03:01 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I don't. They don't even cross my mind annd I don't even notice the ones who have notchosen to start posting haven' posted.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hekatonkheires

A question, for those of you active in the boards... how do you consider those of us who've chosen not to join in the conversations (at least, not yet chosen to)?


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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 11:04:57 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hekatonkheires

A question, for those of you active in the boards... how do you consider those of us who've chosen not to join in the conversations (at least, not yet chosen to)?

As I glance at profiles that interest me, I've taken up the habit of looking at any forum conversations they've joined. I read them, and I see more of the person - the mind - unfold before me. On one hand, I see some context to what she (my particular interest, thank you) says of herself. On the other hand, I haven't arrived at a comfortable level to believe I'm gathering a better 'picture' of her than a private conversation.

Your comments are appreciated.


I think that's a good idea. You can gather a picture of the person but definitely not the whole picture. I've met people offline that seemed one way and then were another when we met. I don't think they were acting, it was just another side of them. Well some were acting, but for the most part, no.


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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 11:11:26 AM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		Some people just aren't interested or comfortable posting on the threads. I don't look down on some one for it and it doesn't effect my opinion of them. Seeing what they posted is a good idea to get to know a person outside what they've told you, especially if they're really active on the boards. Of course some just goof off and let off steam on the boards (which is fun) which won't really tell you anything about them on a deeper level.

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 11:17:24 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		I tend to pay a lot more attention to cmail from people who post on the forums, as I get a better idea of what they are like from what they write. 

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 11:36:21 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		what Wyld said.. although I don't have anything against talking with people who DONT post (as long as they arent useless gits)

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 11:53:17 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I go through periods where I post or don't.  I suppose you could learn something about me from my posts, but in all honesty I am very reserved on the boards.  I am also quite reserved with a new potential.  I have to come to be very comfortable with someone before they are really going to get any real indication of what I am all about.  I can reasonably assure that I answer the questions I do and how I do based on my own personality and perspectives, but to think that is going to give you much of an edge is a mistake.  My personality is fairly minimal on here.  There is a lot more than meets the eye.

I really don't care if someone posts or not, though I would be more apt to return a cmail from someone whose name is familiar to me from the boards.  I am more interested in what the person will entrust to me on a personal level.  These forums are still a form of public face.  I am much more interested in what goes on behind closed doors.

lovingpet

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 11:54:08 AM   
Hekatonkheires


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline 		My reasons to pose the question - yes, maybe one or two caught my eye. Just as much, though, was last week's 'All Things Considered' podcast, about the classic Nigerian millions-of-dollars-waiting-for-your-help-to-release-it email scam, and the anti-scammers that battle it. It's an incredible perspective of.... well, liars, and how the best of them pull it off. Personal experience? no one is immune.
 
Made me think of the whole on-line personna vs. real-life aspect of this.

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 12:05:06 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hekatonkheires

My reasons to pose the question - yes, maybe one or two caught my eye. Just as much, though, was last week's 'All Things Considered' podcast, about the classic Nigerian millions-of-dollars-waiting-for-your-help-to-release-it email scam, and the anti-scammers that battle it. It's an incredible perspective of.... well, liars, and how the best of them pull it off. Personal experience? no one is immune.
 
Made me think of the whole on-line personna vs. real-life aspect of this.


Oh, who, who?  Tell us, tell us!  

I'm not sure I understand your original question...do you mean what do we think of people who read the boards but don't post, or do you mean how do we "consider" you as for a potential partner since you're not visible on the boards? 

For the first, it doesn't really matter to me....there are readers and there are posters and it's all good.

For the second, well, the only way we'd know about you, unless you lived in our state (where you would probably come up on the Home page) is if you contacted us first by email.  I've had contact with people in here both from the boards and who only have profiles on the other side.  If you're nice, it doesn't matter to me :)

< Message edited by windchymes -- 9/20/2008 12:09:30 PM >

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 12:20:38 PM   
Hekatonkheires


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline 		windchymes, you beg the question, which becomes a whole new discussion in itself... is discretion related to valor?

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 12:22:05 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Who I am here is pretty much who I am in person.  Well, I think so anyway.  Okay, now I'm curious... GT?  Did you find me any different in person?

The peeps that I met in Florida are exactly the way they are here.  So maybe I become friends with the ones who show more of themselves here vs. the ones who show just a little bit of themselves here.


Cali



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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 12:26:11 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Cali... you were even better in person :D 

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 12:29:26 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

what Wyld said.. although I don't have anything against talking with people who DONT post (as long as they arent useless gits)


Same here. Although some may consider me a useless git, but then  again WGAF  :)

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 12:32:09 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Yep. What Wyld and GT said. It tells you quite a bit about a person. And it can be really fun.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

what Wyld said.. although I don't have anything against talking with people who DONT post (as long as they arent useless gits)


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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 12:58:04 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Oh, I forgot the "first question"... the title of the thread.  Generally pretty loud, although occasionally, when I think I'm being loud I'm told I haven't uttered a sound; and at times when I think I'm quiet I'm actually making enough noise to shake the heavens.


Cali


_____________________________

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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 1:30:41 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		There are people on here who may well be different in person.  Some people are quick to say things online that they would likely never say to someone's face.  (yea I know that doesn't apply to everyone)

And if, in some hypothetical situation, I were looking for someone and they displayed characteristics here in the forums that I found distasteful, I would pass them by. 


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RE: Loud or quiet - 9/20/2008 2:26:45 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He doesn't see much purpose to the boards. He'd rather be doing something constructive like changing the oil in the car. He's an engineer by training and prefers doing stuff instead of sitting and talking about it. He prefers conversations taken while walking to just sitting on the sofa.

Me, I'm a talker. So I post when he isn't around.

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