Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (Full Version)

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Untouched1282 -> Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/20/2008 11:59:21 AM)

CollarMe and other BDSM-style websites provide a venue for people of similar interests to come together and converse,  exchange ideas/relate experiences, and give some comfort to those of us who often feel alien in the vanilla world. It's a safe-haven, a library of resources, and a way to ease into the lifestyle for those people who may feel awkward expressing their sexual/lifestyle kinks without the aid of the Internet.

With this being said, I think many people could wind up hurting themselves, literally and/or figuratively, as a result of belonging to such an open, largely unregulated forum. (I'll elaborate, if asked to do so).

What do you think, CM?



undergroundsea -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/20/2008 1:07:06 PM)

Pros:

  • Helps affirm or negate beliefs held about BDSM. It brings one closer to reality in comparison to having no other such forum.
  • Discussions can enable self awareness, or otherwise increase knowledge or broaden perspectives.
  • Ability to become acquainted with people whom one otherwise might not meet
  • Can help develop social confidence
  • Good lesson on human behavior

Cons
  • Drain on time and its opportunity cost for, amongst other things, real time interaction
  • Can become involved in unconstructive human behavior
  • The familiarity developed with regulars can lead one to open up as if opening up to friends but in a place which has a much greater audience
  • Online conduct can be worse than in person conduct. Potential to meet people whom one otherwise should not meet ;-)

Cheers,

Sea



CalifChick -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/20/2008 1:16:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282
I think many people could wind up hurting themselves, literally and/or figuratively, as a result of belonging to such an open, largely unregulated forum.




I think "natural selection" is not nearly as strong as it should be.


Cali



MmeGigs -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/21/2008 5:28:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282
With this being said, I think many people could wind up hurting themselves, literally and/or figuratively, as a result of belonging to such an open, largely unregulated forum. (I'll elaborate, if asked to do so).


CollarMe's message boards are really pretty "safe" as these things go.  They're moderated and the folks who post are for the most part helful and rational.  There's very little really bad information put out here, and when there is it's quickly challenged or debunked. 

I'm pretty much with Cali on the "natural selection" thing.  Getting hurt on an internet forum is really a function of one's own lack of common sense and/or self-control.  Every one of us has the ultimate control over our online experience - we can click on the little x in the upper right corner of the screen.  Here and in many other discussion venues, we can block or hide posts from people we don't care to hear from.  If a particular thread is upsetting us, we don't have to read it. 



wandersalone -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/21/2008 7:45:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

With this being said, I think many people could wind up hurting themselves, literally and/or figuratively, as a result of belonging to such an open, largely unregulated forum. (I'll elaborate, if asked to do so).

What do you think, CM?



Ok ok I'll bite since no one else has...would you care to elaborate Untouched?



Untouched1282 -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/21/2008 9:13:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

With this being said, I think many people could wind up hurting themselves, literally and/or figuratively, as a result of belonging to such an open, largely unregulated forum. (I'll elaborate, if asked to do so).

What do you think, CM?



Ok ok I'll bite since no one else has...would you care to elaborate Untouched?



No. I ask questions to see what other people think/have to say. I don't want to turn my post into a blog. I was just saying that I would elaborate upon my question if someone needed me to do so.



Untouched1282 -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/21/2008 9:16:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282
With this being said, I think many people could wind up hurting themselves, literally and/or figuratively, as a result of belonging to such an open, largely unregulated forum. (I'll elaborate, if asked to do so).


CollarMe's message boards are really pretty "safe" as these things go.  They're moderated and the folks who post are for the most part helful and rational.  There's very little really bad information put out here, and when there is it's quickly challenged or debunked. 

I'm pretty much with Cali on the "natural selection" thing.  Getting hurt on an internet forum is really a function of one's own lack of common sense and/or self-control.  Every one of us has the ultimate control over our online experience - we can click on the little x in the upper right corner of the screen.  Here and in many other discussion venues, we can block or hide posts from people we don't care to hear from.  If a particular thread is upsetting us, we don't have to read it. 


I didn't mean hurt as in hurt feelings or some fake account stealing your pictures, even getting in trouble with your employer or something along those lines. I was more concerned with how it impacts a person's personal development inside and out of this lifestyle. I was curious to see if their could be any retarding elements of the on-line experience when it comes to devloping your interpersonal relationships, whether it be in a vanilla or BDSM context.



DesFIP -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/21/2008 9:39:43 AM)

People with no common sense will wind up taking the worst of fantasy to heart and think this is the way it 'should' be. However they are just as likely to do the same stupid stuff reading Penthouse Variations.

And just as likely to walk into a crowded room and pick out the one person who would be the absolute worst to interact with.

There's lots of info here, and lots of people each spouting 'the one twue way'. But before the net people read personal ads in alternative papers and could have come out with the same wrong ideas. Or had nothing but their fantasies and no way to get info to tell them they were doing it unsafely. I remember someone, not sure if it were here, some months back. Her boyfriend wanted to tie ropes around her wrists and suspend her. She said no way and came online where she asked for info. She was given reputable links, to medical sites that showed the fragility of the human wrist. She was also given links to upcoming workshops in her area to send her guy to in order how to learn how to do suspension safely. Most of all, by having people to ask immediately, she didn't give in to his pressure and still has use of her hands.




wandersalone -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/21/2008 9:41:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

I didn't mean hurt as in hurt feelings or some fake account stealing your pictures, even getting in trouble with your employer or something along those lines. I was more concerned with how it impacts a person's personal development inside and out of this lifestyle. I was curious to see if their could be any retarding elements of the on-line experience when it comes to devloping your interpersonal relationships, whether it be in a vanilla or BDSM context.



You have expanded a bit more on your Op which was a little confusing to me... I would imagine that focusing on on-line interactions to the extent of avoiding/decreasing real life interactions/opportunities would definitely impact upon a person's self development. 

If it is being used as a stepping stone for real life interactions or if online is the extent to which a person plans have contact with others than forums such as this may be perfect.

A person who is extremely shy may find on line a more comfortable medium to contact and talk with people in however it is unlikely to take away the anxiety that person feels when meeting others in real life.

These sound to me like fairly basic common sense notions though so I may still be missing the intent of your OP.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Positivies and negatives to a website/forum such as CM (9/21/2008 10:13:54 AM)

I admit that I am an internet addict.  I am on a knitting forum, doll collector's forums, guinea pig fanciers forums, a grey parrot forum...   I talk to people all around the world about my MANY interests.  My life has been enhanced by internet contact, not harmed by it.  I have met wonderful friends here, and in the other groups---contacts that turned into REAL TIME relationships, not just typing.  I've gotten in touch with local people that I would not have met otherwise, and expanded my circle of friends.. 

If you have any level of common sense---and granted, many do not---then you will find resources and use them wisely.  If you are not grounded in reality, if you are obsessed with one interest to the suffering of all else, then the internet is not going to be your friend.  This is true whether you are using the net to play games, to shop, to chat, or to look for mates. 

Wherever you go, there you are.  [;)]



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