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MsSaskia -> RE: Confused, in too fast with ProDomme? (9/22/2008 2:11:30 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
Generally, professional Dominas don't have relationships with their clients. Clients are *clients*. You pay and the Domme renders service as agreed upon. It's a financial transaction. That's all there is to it. Professionals would go out of business if they engaged in relationships with their clients because generally once a relationship starts, a "client" becomes a friend, boyfriend, etc. and no longer pays.
This is a HUGE RED FLAG. Professionals are not looking for dating relationships with clients. This is the reciprocal of my comment above. Professionals are *professionals*. A professional sees clients because these people are their revenue stream. It's a job. Just like at work, you don't go to work for shits and giggles with your boss. Rather, you go to work because your boss pays you. You're the boss here. Once you've paid and the job is done, the contractor (in this case the Domina) has no more interest in you - she's rendered the service and has been paid. Now sure, you can hire the Domina again and she may well take the contract, but this is her job, not her personal life. When work is done, she wants to leave work at work (and in this case the work she wants to leave behind is *you*).
For accuracy, I'll add this side note. On extremely rare occasions, a professional domina does fall in love with a client. Usually, at this point, the client ceases being a client and becomes a boyfriend, pet, husband, what-have-you. This isn't the norm. In fact, in the pro-Domme world, given that many clients are actually people looking for relationships, this is one of the things a professional Domina must filter out. Unethical professionals use the "dating hook" to bilk money from people who otherwise wouldn't pay for services. Ethical professionals usually turn away such clients because this sets up both the client and the Domina for mismatched expectations. A job usually doesn't go well when the boss and workers have different expectations as to what constitutes a satisfactory outcome.
Maybe you're trying the tough love approach here, but things are not that black and white in this industry or in any other. Not every relationship is a full romance, not every work situation is sterile and devoid of emotion, and no, the client is most certainly not the boss of his pro domme. He's a client. Ethical professional do not hold out false hope for relationships outside the professional session. Since the pro domme/client relationship is not psychotherapy, there is no ethical reason we cannot become friends with clients outside professional sessions any more than any other professional. Boundaries sometimes need to be clarified, just like any other relationship - business or otherwise. Not every client wants to have a full, permanent, monogamous relationship with someone he first saw as a pro domme, and not all clients are incapable of understanding or preferring boundaries. Hanging out time is clear, play time is clear. Nobody has to go away feeling cheated, heartbroken or otherwise left with the feeling that something is missing. If I get to know someone over time and it turns out that we have interests beyond just what we do in a session, we'll start socializing outside of sessions. It doesn't happen with every client and it doesn't happen with most clients or even a third of clients, but I've had some become close friends over the years and have stayed close friends. And they still see me for sessions.
Just thought I'd throw that out there. You know, in the interest of accuracy.
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