Remarks During Rectal Exams (Full Version)

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MadAxeman -> Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/20/2008 10:24:26 PM)

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."  
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"  
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"  
4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"  
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"  
6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."  
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"  
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Cokey...." 
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"  
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"  
11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."  
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"  
13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"  



opposingtwilight -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/20/2008 10:43:07 PM)

Oh my. LOL



Lynnxz -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/20/2008 10:50:08 PM)

quote:

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific


Lmfao.... I think I have just found my new favorite word



marieToo -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/20/2008 10:53:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadAxeman

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."  


Hahaha...This was the best.



BlackPhx -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/21/2008 8:37:07 AM)

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

poenkitten



Saratov -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/21/2008 1:18:56 PM)

HEY!!  Next time take off your watch and cuff-links!



sirsholly -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/21/2008 1:22:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadAxeman


13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"  


[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]



GreedyTop -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/21/2008 1:33:11 PM)

thats my favorite too, Holly..LOL



Sanguinarian -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/21/2008 5:45:27 PM)

Hey Doc, you find my head up there yet? My wife insists it's up there somewhere.



DaddyChess -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/21/2008 6:33:14 PM)

That finger better be gloved!  LOL



Saratov -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/22/2008 6:20:03 AM)

A hand on each hip?!? [sm=hellno.gif]

There had better be a nice dinner involved.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/22/2008 7:34:18 PM)


My doctor of 18 years or so had me scheduled for my annual finger toss.

My appointment was for 8:00 a.m.

They always put you in a room, you sit for 15 minutes, read a magazine in your paper gown and then the doc comes in, small chat ("anything new in your life?....how's work?..." etc.).

I'd brought in a 24 ounce Budweiser wrapped in a paper bag with just the top 2 inches of the beer showing, popped the top...laid it on the counter next to all the tongue depressors and such.

Doc comes in...all the usual small talk....he notices the beer.

"What's the beer for?"

To which I calmly responded...."well...if you're about to do what I think you're about to do....I just figured one of us should be drunk".



darchChylde -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/22/2008 7:52:35 PM)

14. "You should teach your technique to my ex-wife's lawyer?"
15.  From doctor to patient: "Don't I know you from somewhere?" 



sistermargaret -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/22/2008 11:18:53 PM)

If your going to stick something that damn big up my ass, you'd better make me cum.
sm
 
All it takes is absolute surrender



Dnomyar -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/23/2008 9:00:18 AM)

I did it doggy style how big is the litter.



rubberpet -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/23/2008 2:43:13 PM)

Hey Doc, why don't you tell me what I'm thinking since you're poking my brain stem!
 
Ah, so this is what they meant when they said, "Can I pick your brain for a minute?"
 
Quit tickling my liver!



darchChylde -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/23/2008 4:06:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

Hey Doc, why don't you tell me what I'm thinking since you're poking my brain stem!
 
Ah, so this is what they meant when they said, "Can I pick your brain for a minute?"
 
Quit tickling my liver!


So, rubber; your head is up your ass?  I honestly would have thought so.  *winks*



rubberpet -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/24/2008 1:46:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

Hey Doc, why don't you tell me what I'm thinking since you're poking my brain stem!
 
Ah, so this is what they meant when they said, "Can I pick your brain for a minute?"
 
Quit tickling my liver!


So, rubber; your head is up your ass?  I honestly would have thought so.  *winks*



Darch, not quite, my friend.  While it is a common assumption amongst a massive portion of the world's population that I do possess the ever-common "cerebral-anal injection" like every male on the planet, it is, fortunately for me, merely a myth.  My statements above are just a metaphor on how far up the doctor's excavation process goes.  If said doctor continues such a probing, I feel I may have to confess the rectal breach to Mistress because I'm certain it doesn't state anywhere in the doctor's oath that he must explore that far up my ass as if trying to discover a recently untapped alternate fuel source.  LOL



MadAxeman -> RE: Remarks During Rectal Exams (9/24/2008 1:50:48 AM)

This one could run and run.



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