RE: "Just lower your standards"

RE: "Just lower your standards" (Full Version)

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NihilusZero -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 6:42:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Would you do it? You're joking. We're on the message boards of a D/s site and you're asking why a sub would hypothetically wish to please her Master?? quote: ORIGINAL: zakkan Ah... But he does not want someone with just an open mind. He wants someone that will open up to him, then totally close off to everything else. He wants devotion, but not love. He wants you to be like a piece of canvas that he can draw on, with no objections. So basically he wants someone that will be pleased to just please him and not want anything else. Even if we were to take this strawman at face value, you say it with some sort of derision that would seem unused to that type of mentality from TPE Doms and sub/slaves who could be content doing that. Just because you do not find such a dynamic to your taste...

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 6:45:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SunnyfeyJump on some carnival/circus/sideshow forums, I've met alot of girls who fit that particular discription. Please this is an actual serious post, I'd be willing to even pass some links on the other side over to you...... perk please?

Sunnyfey -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 6:49:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zakkan Ah... But he does not want someone with just an open mind. He wants someone that will open up to him, then totally close off to everything else. He wants devotion, but not love. He wants you to be like a piece of canvas that he can draw on, with no objections. So basically he wants someone that will be pleased to just please him and not want anything else. Correct me if I got my facts wrong. The OP seems to have changed his profile. And who do you know that has higher standards?? Well the subs looking for "goddess" dommes....(no offence to one who calls themselves such) being god like is a pretty hard standard to live up to. Whats wrong with BDSM without love? Trust always....but we dont have to LOVE our D/s partners. I've heard of a few Doms who think love is a weakness in D/s relationships. So if theres a girl looking to be used the way the OP discribes, but who is ok with the whole no emotional attachment (love anyway) then why not? And yes Ive been in a D/s relationship where I dident love my Dom and he dident love me, we just did what we did. Yeah I used him (even as a submissive...I used him to dom me because thats what i wanted) and He used me in return. No need for love in the relationship if everyone is forewarned and happy with it. (and before its asked, I left the old dom for the simple fact I stopped enjoying his type of play after a bit...he was very stagnent it his play...same thing over and over)

CreativeDominant -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 7:46:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Okay it might have been better to read the profile lol. I get the impression from these two posts the idea that my desires, kinks and goals are the problem, and that if that's what I want then I deserve to have a hard time? Am I completely off-base with that sense? No...where you are off-base is expecting the dedication and commitment of a long-term submissive/slave without being willing in return to give them anything but play...in YOUR way. You state right out that you are not interested in a "deep" relationship so then seriously...what makes you think anyone should commit an excess of their time, their motivation, their behavior, their desire to being "just" a plaything? You have to give at least as much as you want to get.

zakkan -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 8:04:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey quote: ORIGINAL: zakkan Ah... But he does not want someone with just an open mind. He wants someone that will open up to him, then totally close off to everything else. He wants devotion, but not love. He wants you to be like a piece of canvas that he can draw on, with no objections. So basically he wants someone that will be pleased to just please him and not want anything else. Correct me if I got my facts wrong. The OP seems to have changed his profile. And who do you know that has higher standards?? Well the subs looking for "goddess" dommes....(no offence to one who calls themselves such) being god like is a pretty hard standard to live up to. Whats wrong with BDSM without love? Trust always....but we dont have to LOVE our D/s partners. I've heard of a few Doms who think love is a weakness in D/s relationships. So if theres a girl looking to be used the way the OP discribes, but who is ok with the whole no emotional attachment (love anyway) then why not? And yes Ive been in a D/s relationship where I dident love my Dom and he dident love me, we just did what we did. Yeah I used him (even as a submissive...I used him to dom me because thats what i wanted) and He used me in return. No need for love in the relationship if everyone is forewarned and happy with it. (and before its asked, I left the old dom for the simple fact I stopped enjoying his type of play after a bit...he was very stagnent it his play...same thing over and over) Hey, I am just stating what he wants. I did not say there was anything fundamentally wrong with what he wanted. Just trying to put it in clearer terms. Shrugs quote: quote: ORIGINAL: zakkan Ah... But he does not want someone with just an open mind. He wants someone that will open up to him, then totally close off to everything else. He wants devotion, but not love. He wants you to be like a piece of canvas that he can draw on, with no objections. So basically he wants someone that will be pleased to just please him and not want anything else. Even if we were to take this strawman at face value, you say it with some sort of derision that would seem unused to that type of mentality from TPE Doms and sub/slaves who could be content doing that. Just because you do not find such a dynamic to your taste... Well, I apologise for that. But I was only trying to make clear what he wants, and what he wants is quite difficult to understand. And its definitely not just an open mind.

Icarys -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 9:39:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Contortionism, especially this kind (the feet to the forehead thing* can be accomplished in under an hour with some good streaching and going slow. Yoga is a wonderful thing. As for the ballet boots idea, how sexy would you feel doing that? and Custom Clothes? sign me up. when you think about it his standards arnt all that bad compairatively to some people on here. now as how I FEEL about his ideas as a sub, being Masters art work is a wonderful thing, knowing he spent the time and energy to make me appear beautiful in his eyes, is a great thing, he took the time energy and money to turn me into his...another form of training yes? when it comes to brass tacks training is making someone into something that pleases you, even with little rituals and such you may not change your personality but your are changeing habits and learning a behavior that pleases your Master. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Being a submissive and spending months or even years learning to do a task or what have you to please Master and then FINALLY getting it or doing it correctly is a wonderful feeling. So why should one lower their standards when its possible to find a partner...in this aspect even an untrained partner that would please you? They heard you say it and still they don't believe it lol.

liljoy -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 10:01:53 AM)
It's a number game really much like anything else. The number of women that look like what you require or want to look like that are a certain number. Now take from that number the amount of women who are able or interested in your kink and you have fewer in your pool. Now take away the number that are willing to be with an average looking guy like yourself and you have fewer still. One more take away. Take away the ones that are willing to be owned and committed to one that doesn't offer commitment in return. Each time you add a must have to your list you limit your chances

kidwithknife -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 10:26:04 AM)
OP, to take a slightly different tack on this, how active are you in creating art at present? I can tell from your profile that creativity/art is very important to you. It actually strikes me as something you need to do in order to feel fufilled. And I'm very aware that having an idea for a future artistic work that isn't currently practical can very easily lead to the trap of spending all your type talking about that, as opposed to getting on with the nuts and bolts of creation in the present term. (I've been there myself. About two years of doing nothing because of a vague plan to open an art studio some point in the future). In particular, I think it might be worth looking at the more obviously performance based art forms. (You mention both loving and being terrified of performing on stage in your profile). Other people have touched on this, but I do get the impression that part of you very much wants adulation and applause. Which there isn't necessarily anything wrong with. But I think you'd be better going for it now, as opposed to hoping for a relationship that will fufil that part of you. Apart from anything else, really throwing yourself into performance is likely to increase both your happiness and self-confidence. Which will in turn, make it easier for you to get what you're wanting in terms of a relationship in the future.

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 10:29:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey Im a size 0 contortionist....but i cant run in heels. o.0 Would you like to? ;)

MistresseLotus -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 10:35:52 AM)
Lowered Expectations.. a whole LOT of examples!

Icarys -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 11:11:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: liljoy It's a number game really much like anything else. The number of women that look like what you require or want to look like that are a certain number. Now take from that number the amount of women who are able or interested in your kink and you have fewer in your pool. Now take away the number that are willing to be with an average looking guy like yourself and you have fewer still. One more take away. Take away the ones that are willing to be owned and committed to one that doesn't offer commitment in return. Each time you add a must have to your list you limit your chances Your absolutely right. I'm personally fully aware of where i stand in that numbers game.. As far as I'm concerned it's all worth the wait to get what I desire.

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 11:12:39 AM)
I will agree - it is absolutely worth the wait. Of course, if I can figure out anything that will shorten that wait, that is far preferrable. :)

Icarys -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 11:27:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth I will agree - it is absolutely worth the wait. Of course, if I can figure out anything that will shorten that wait, that is far preferrable. :) I do that as well. [:D] I am proactive when it comes to looking and trying to help it along. I will not however compromise myself by taking something less than what will fulfill me in a female.

Sunnyfey -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 1:26:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey Im a size 0 contortionist....but i cant run in heels. o.0 Would you like to? ;) lol side note I've been wanting to add a ballet boots burlesque act to the show....so maybe

NihilusZero -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 1:39:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Contortionism, especially this kind (the feet to the forehead thing* can be accomplished in under an hour with some good streaching and going slow. Yoga is a wonderful thing. As for the ballet boots idea, how sexy would you feel doing that? and Custom Clothes? sign me up. when you think about it his standards arnt all that bad compairatively to some people on here. now as how I FEEL about his ideas as a sub, being Masters art work is a wonderful thing, knowing he spent the time and energy to make me appear beautiful in his eyes, is a great thing, he took the time energy and money to turn me into his...another form of training yes? when it comes to brass tacks training is making someone into something that pleases you, even with little rituals and such you may not change your personality but your are changeing habits and learning a behavior that pleases your Master. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Being a submissive and spending months or even years learning to do a task or what have you to please Master and then FINALLY getting it or doing it correctly is a wonderful feeling. So why should one lower their standards when its possible to find a partner...in this aspect even an untrained partner that would please you? They heard you say it and still they don't believe it lol. Denial is the first step. [;)]

Icarys -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 1:41:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Contortionism, especially this kind (the feet to the forehead thing* can be accomplished in under an hour with some good streaching and going slow. Yoga is a wonderful thing. As for the ballet boots idea, how sexy would you feel doing that? and Custom Clothes? sign me up. when you think about it his standards arnt all that bad compairatively to some people on here. now as how I FEEL about his ideas as a sub, being Masters art work is a wonderful thing, knowing he spent the time and energy to make me appear beautiful in his eyes, is a great thing, he took the time energy and money to turn me into his...another form of training yes? when it comes to brass tacks training is making someone into something that pleases you, even with little rituals and such you may not change your personality but your are changeing habits and learning a behavior that pleases your Master. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Being a submissive and spending months or even years learning to do a task or what have you to please Master and then FINALLY getting it or doing it correctly is a wonderful feeling. So why should one lower their standards when its possible to find a partner...in this aspect even an untrained partner that would please you? They heard you say it and still they don't believe it lol. Denial is the first step. [;)] [:D]

Ialdabaoth -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 2:02:33 PM)
Can I spend just a moment mentioning how much you guys rock? I was starting to question my sanity.

LadyLupineNYC -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 3:10:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys quote: ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy. Contortionism, especially this kind (the feet to the forehead thing* can be accomplished in under an hour with some good streaching and going slow. Yoga is a wonderful thing. As for the ballet boots idea, how sexy would you feel doing that? and Custom Clothes? sign me up. when you think about it his standards arnt all that bad compairatively to some people on here. now as how I FEEL about his ideas as a sub, being Masters art work is a wonderful thing, knowing he spent the time and energy to make me appear beautiful in his eyes, is a great thing, he took the time energy and money to turn me into his...another form of training yes? when it comes to brass tacks training is making someone into something that pleases you, even with little rituals and such you may not change your personality but your are changeing habits and learning a behavior that pleases your Master. Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives. Being a submissive and spending months or even years learning to do a task or what have you to please Master and then FINALLY getting it or doing it correctly is a wonderful feeling. So why should one lower their standards when its possible to find a partner...in this aspect even an untrained partner that would please you? They heard you say it and still they don't believe it lol. I for one am extremely happy she joined the discussion; she was a most need perspective. I have never doubted the existence of such 'loveless' D/s arraignments, but the thought occurs to me now that maybe, just maybe the needed hubris & some level of give-and-take might come in the toes-to-nose body form the the 'right' partner. edited to add----> yeah for synergy! [sm=line.gif]

LadyLupineNYC -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 3:17:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth Can I spend just a moment mentioning how much you guys rock? I was starting to question my sanity. No, it is well worth the wait to find what makes you happy, I (and some others) feel that some 'you time' would be just the thing to 'shorten' that wait and, yes maybe...just maybe 'expand'. My boy, whom is so wonderful and loving is NOT a member of the FDNY...and yet, I forgive him and accepted him anyway [;)]. You most certainly (far as I can see from posts) don't need therapy (unless you feel you do have some other issues which might benefit from some talking with an impartial person). This issues is not even close to crazy....

NihilusZero -> RE: "Just lower your standards" (9/23/2008 3:23:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth Can I spend just a moment mentioning how much you guys rock? I was starting to question my sanity. [:)]

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