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Stusmobile -> Sometimes ..... (9/21/2008 9:41:26 PM)
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*I'm going to post this, it's been sitting here for a day or two and I don't think theres anything else I can say .... so here it goes**
Sometimes life throws you a curve ball with one pitch and then drops the other right over the plate so you can hit it out of the park. I've been tossed a few curve balls through the years but have just hit what I'd happily call a grand slam.
A couple of years ago while playing a game I was introduced to someone who grew into a very close friend. She was sweet, cute, somewhat flirty although shy with it and generally someone who made me smile when she was around. Early this year I whiffed at one of lifes curveballs and got something of a surprise when she stepped in and told me to swing again.
Over the last 6 months a friendship based on mutual flirting, innuendo and smart ass comments has grown in leaps and bounds. To begin with both of us were happy to have someone close, to chat, to flirt and to drop sexually charged emails on ... we were 4000 miles apart and neither was looking for anything more than fun. Since those early days the dynamic changed, each day brought forth new surprises, new discoveries and long conversations through the night. We went from instant messages to voice chat, from there the voice turned to web cam and phonecalls and now not one evening goes by where we don't spend time together. We talk about the mundane, the daily grind and of course we talk of other things too. We'd discussed our sexual preferences, our thoughts on D/s, M/s and all that it entails ... and we found ourselves agreeing on the principles that mattered to us.
There were questions of commitment, of logistically being able to manage visits and the possible things that visits could become later. We talked and talked but at the end of the day the feelings we had could not be contained by a computer screen and we needed that confirmation or denial for ourselves.
Last Friday afternoon, I walked through an airport concourse, finding my way not only towards baggage claim but also to her. That first few minutes were awkward, there was a hug, deep and meaningful but there was definitely some concern too. It's silly but no matter how much we'd shared until that moment, how much we'd talked and seen ... there is still that hesitation of speaking or doing something too soon. Matters went down hill rapidly, the wait for my luggage was interminable and got worse when we discovered my bags were still sitting in New Jersey. I'd spent around 18 hours travelling, I was tired, I was not as sweet as normal and now they'd lost my bags. She smiled and said something very inconsequential at the time and made me laugh, the rest of the evening became a blur.
We broke every single "rule" about safe meetings, about what you should and shouldn't do and funnily enough we're both still alive and reasonably sane after it. She drove, the plan was to stay at her apartment without there being any strings attatched. A couple of friends having a fun few days if thats what it came down to, nothing expected and no pressure. I admit to having hopes, dreams and fears but at the end of the day I am also enough of a gentleman to know that sometimes no does mean no.
After about an hours drive we hit the store, stopping off to grab some (delicous) sandwiches and some drinks for the evening. It was easy, it was comfortable, the walking through the store picking the bits and pieces up felt right. My hand naturally drifted to her collar, half platonic as a friend guiding another to something, half testing, checking for a reaction. The smile, the in drawn breath, the shiver as my fingers brushed the hair off her neck was all I needed. I won't say we "played" that word doesn't fit what happened, is still happening and what we want to happen in the future. I will say that we had a wonderful vacation, we enjoyed ourselves, we enjoyed our time together and we enjoyed each other. We had days where we explored the places she loved, where we began to create memories for ourselves. We had days and nights where we explored one another, where those secret desires were pulled out and examined, felt, enjoyed.
Right now I am sitting in New Jersey awaiting a flight back to England .... I have a carry on with me and no checked luggage. My laptop is open with a picture of her sitting next to the text I'm writing. I can still taste her on my lips, feel her under my fingers, hear her in my mind. I will be back as soon as possible, not for a vacation, not for a trip or to play ... but to see if what we have is enough to take us into old age and infirmity. More trips are planned, trips from there to here, here to there .... and eventually a move from here to there. We have it a little easier than some, I can move there at will, begin work and not have to deal with visa's and all the other hurdles officaldom can put in the way.
She has been found, she has been marked and she has been claimed .... she is my EmlyKate .....
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