RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (Full Version)

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Vendaval -> RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (12/1/2005 9:57:45 PM)

IMHO, it is better to be polite and courteous until someone proves to me that they are incapable of understanding level of interaction. I am brutally blunt and direct with bullies and assholes. And yes, I do have a strong chivalrous inclination and am most likely to intervene if a weaker person is being harassed by a person with a distinct physical advantage. (A young thug antagonizing an elderly person, a group of kids bullying a mentally and/or physically challenged kid, etc.)

There is also a self-interest factor in being polite. My point of view is that petty arguments and irritable conflicts waste both time and energy. And life is too short to waste on stupid people.



sunshine333 -> RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (12/2/2005 3:59:59 AM)

quote:

It is more a recognition of the inherent humanity of another person


Lady Zephyr,
... smiles ...

thank you for taking my post to heart. i was thinking more about this. and i just think, in general, "compassion" is a word that seems to be much easier to swallow. it is less intimidating. it's softer and warmer. so i propose this idea ( ... grins ...) maybe "respect" is the motivator, after accepting people's "inherent humanity," that causes us to treat them with compassion.

when i interact with a child who is behaving poorly ... perhaps speaking or acting aggresively ... i will tell him that his behavior is not kind and that it hurts my feelings when he speaks to me this way. for some reason, that seems much more effective than telling him he's being disrespectful.

humbly,
sunshine



ExistentialSteel -> RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (12/2/2005 4:28:23 AM)

I treat others with respect because I desire to be treated with respect. I want certain things from others whether it is actual things or only good feelings and it is in my best interest to make them feel good too.

As far as rudeness on the internet it is more prevalent than in real time. In real life, it takes some effort to tell someone he/she is stupid. I mean you have to get up, brush your teeth, find an enemy and weigh the consequences of what you say to them.

On the internet, you can sit in your chair, unwashed with bad breath and say F$#% you to anyone who will listen and never once fear being slapped beside your unkempt head.



IrishMist -> RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (12/2/2005 4:50:36 AM)

Hmm, I was raised to be respectful, and it is something that I have just carried with me all my life. Respect is not earned; it is a two way street. I show respect to others, but I also expect the same in return. But in the same vein, if I am shown disrespect, I will react accordingly.



Synocense -> RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (12/2/2005 5:38:10 AM)

Dear LadiesBladewing,

I am glad that you wrote this post. When I read those lines about how a person does not give respect until someone earns their respect, I always envision a Mexican stand-off -- two people staring into each others eyes with their hand at their hip, waiting for the other to make the first move....and I wonder how anyone would get anywhere like that. "Do unto others......." seems to make more sense to me. If someone does not respect you, it does not neccessarily mean that you are not respectable, it could very well mean that they are leery or frightened or any number of things. So I dont stamp someone as disrespectful too quickly ....

Syn



Sunshine119 -> RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (12/2/2005 1:51:46 PM)

We do seem to be getting all tied up in semantics. What does the word "respect" mean to each person? I looked up the dictionary definition to see if it could shed any additional light on this subject. The meanings that were given were: 1, To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem. 2, To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.
3, To relate or refer to; concern.

These definitions seem to make everything even more fuzzy. So then, I am left to my own devices to determine what respect is. While I do try to treat others as I wish to be treated when I first meet them, I don't define this as respect. Not exactly sure what it is. Perhaps it is more the Golden rule sort of stuff.

For me, respect can only be given after I know the character of the person in question. Are they inherently a good person? Do they seem to show love, caring and compassion to other living beings? Do they live their lives this way or only talk the talk? If I can answer yes to these three questions, the person has earned my deepest respect.

And, unless I'm really ticked off and beyond reason (or PMSing), the Golden Rule presides.



IrishMist -> RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (12/2/2005 2:03:12 PM)

quote:

These definitions seem to make everything even more fuzzy. So then, I am left to my own devices to determine what respect is. While I do try to treat others as I wish to be treated when I first meet them, I don't define this as respect. Not exactly sure what it is.


Hmm, I see your point :) I guess for me, and I would have to go back to my childhood ( YIKES ), respect is more of a 'showing deference'? to another. For example, I was taught to say yes and no sir/maam when speaking to others who were older. To me, that is a sign of respect. Just as not speaking while another is speaking, would be a sign of respect. As I got older, I still find myself showing deference; the only thing that has changed is that while I am older, I find that I also show the same to not only the older generation, but also to the younger.

But I do agree with you on the point that it really is a matter of deciding for yourself what the word entails.



sunshine333 -> RE: Respect, dignity and self-expression... (12/3/2005 4:43:01 AM)

quote:

For me, respect can only be given after I know the character of the person in question. Are they inherently a good person? Do they seem to show love, caring and compassion to other living beings? Do they live their lives this way or only talk the talk? If I can answer yes to these three questions, the person has earned my deepest respect.


but see, i believe that we are all inherently good. and that's why i try to give people the benefit of the doubt. that's the part of them i respect. there is a commmonality between me and each person ... the part of me that is good ... the part of me that wants the same as they do: to be happy and avoid suffering. there is a natural connection (for me) and i respect the part of them that is inherently "god-like', "buddha-like" ... call it what you will. if they do anything in addition to existing and not proving themselves to behave like a complete jerk ... then they will get extra displays of respect. it's a matter of degree, for me.

just my beliefs and how i choose to relate to people.

humbly,
sunshine

p.s. i looked up the word, respect, like you did, and became even more confused too. there's gotta be a better word. that's why i suggested compasion. but that still doesn't emcompass everything i think we're trying to say here.



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