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question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 6:06:59 PM   
cuniculis


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/22/2008
Status: offline 		What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?  I have a general idea, but I'm not quite sure and am pretty new to kink (and love it!).  But it was just something I was wondering.
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 6:08:51 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I suggest using the search feature for questions like this;it has been asked many times before and I am sure you will find past posts helpful.  I would also like to warn that there are rarely 'single' definitions to questions like this; as many people post on here, that is how many diffrent definitions thier may be...

Best of luck!

LL


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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 6:13:55 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		You may as well ask the populace of the site: "What is 'true love'?"

Keep in mind that ultimately the words are used to convey information and, though you are welcome to attribute any interpretation to any term, you are dealing with words that will likely always need subsequent minor personal definitions following them.

The short answer is: It is the ghostly line that divides two groups of s-types on a level of the degree to which they submit (or are willing to submit) in a full-on power exchange.


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(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 6:16:15 PM   
SoulRavager


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		the question that has launched a thousand chatrooms..........

(in reply to NihilusZero)
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 7:06:16 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		My personal advice would be not to think of the difference. Everyone will give you a different meaning and everyone will argue that they're wrong.

My take? There is no difference. They're just words in my mind. I don't really care about labels.

Some people might fit what you or someone else thinks a slave should be and will say that no, they are not a slave. Why? It's their choice. And if their partner agrees to it then that's all that matters.

(in reply to SoulRavager)
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 7:23:12 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		does it matter what the difference is?  both are submissive.. beyond that.. it only matters to the people actually involved.. even the degree of submission can be a source of disagreement.. just enjoy being you.. and pleasing the one you are with... hang the labels outside the door

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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 7:25:16 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:

What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?


slave=5 letters
submissive=10 letters



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(in reply to cuniculis)
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 8:38:15 PM   
cuniculis


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/22/2008
Status: offline 		Honestly, I was curious because when filling out the profile for this site I noticed for orientation options it had slave or submissive.  And I thought myself, "Well what's the diffrence?" 
Didn't think it was such a loaded question, I really just thought it had something to do with terminology ^^;.  Remember I am pretty darn new to it all.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 8:46:54 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Do a lil research. Read what other people think the words mean (since everyone will say something different) and form your own idea of what they mean to you if they mean anything at all.

There should be more options honestly, fetlife has like...a billion or something. lol Even the classic "unsure."

(in reply to cuniculis)
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 8:47:33 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		NOOOOOOOOOO, not again!!!!!!!!

luci

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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 9:19:58 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuniculis

What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?  I have a general idea, but I'm not quite sure and am pretty new to kink (and love it!).  But it was just something I was wondering.


Best to use the search function and read past threads on this topic. Each has their own definition and you must discover what yours is. Nuff said.


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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 9:44:36 PM   
Epiphanie


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/30/2008
Status: offline 		I've heard a million answers to this question, and the concensus of what I've heard is that a Slave has no limits, a submissive has limits. Some have even gone so far as to say that a slave has no "safe word", which I believe is, not only stupid, but utterly dangerous.

Just a small tip for someone new: NEVER ever scene without a safe word. It saves not only you, but also your partner.
Just keep in mind what I'd like to say the rules for this lifestyle.

*Edit* I corrected the spelling of consensual (Thanks, LuckyAlbatross) and the above is simply what ~I~ do.

Safe
Sane and
Consensual

Good luck!

< Message edited by Epiphanie -- 9/22/2008 10:00:00 PM >

(in reply to beargonewild)
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 9:46:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epiphanie
and the concensus of what I've heard is that a Slave has no limits, a submissive has limits. Some have even gone so far as to say that a slave has no "safe word", which I believe is, not only stupid, but utterly dangerous.

Oh you are going to be fun Epiphanie.

Many slaves have limits, their masters put limits on tons of behaviors and expressions of self.  Many slaves have more controls and limits than many subs.

And safe words have nothing to do with submission or slavery, it's for kinky play.  And plenty of people do not use safe words because they use *direct communication* (gasp)

And you misspelled consensual- might want to work on that before trying to sound like an authority on something.

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RE: question for the newbie - 9/22/2008 10:05:57 PM   
Epiphanie


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/30/2008
Status: offline 		I'm thrilled that you find that I'll be fun for you.

I've never claimed to be an authority on the lifestyle. I'm 25 years old, and have been in and/or around this lifestyle since I was 17 years old. Of course someone with a few more years than I, (perhaps) in the lifestyle would know more than me. I even corrected my spelling above. Just for you, darling. (xoxo)

I mentioned when "scening" to use a safe word. Perhaps you'll be so kind as to tell me the difference between scening and kinky play..

In any rate, I wasn't aware that this was a spelling contest, but I thank you for correcting my spelling. I'm sure the other readers would have been simply distraught with my lack of correct spelling.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: question for the newbie - 9/23/2008 12:12:39 AM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		Oh hey now be easy on LA, I am a self-professed Spell Check Nazi, so incorrect spelling irks me to no end. 

But seriously, though, my personal take is that a "slave" is seen more as Master's property, whereas a submissive person is one that submits and serves said Dom/what-the-hell-ever, but doesn't have the "property" label.  I myself, I HATE labels, and have found that so far in my journey through life, that I can be a submissive, (daddy can attest to this, he doesn't have to lift a freaking finger when here with me, except to change a diaper that I cannot, as I am still sleeping and did not witness the explosion) I have found that I have a more dominant personality when in the company of another woman for play purposes, I have never taken on the persona of a "slave" but who knows, that may be around the bend.  My suggestion, like others, is to use that "search" feature in the corner, yes there is a LOT to go through but may provide you the answers that you are after. 

As for me,  I am after the submission of a shot of the heavenly Captain Morgan. 

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RE: question for the newbie - 9/23/2008 6:02:17 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		scene without a safe word... hmmm

i dont go to dungeons.. i dont go to play parties... i serve a man off line who knows me better at times than i know myself.  i am slave to him, i am not his slave.

he knows my limits, knows my likes, dislikes, and enjoys pushing them all.  and i trust him completely to do so....

maybe an argument for not "scening" with people you dont know?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to monywildcat)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: question for the newbie - 9/23/2008 6:14:14 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuniculis

What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?  I have a general idea, but I'm not quite sure and am pretty new to kink (and love it!).  But it was just something I was wondering.


Take the word you prefere to use and use it - then expand on yourself during further communication.  When it comes down to it, the final decision on what the difference is and whether there is one - is entirely down to the dominant you choose to submit to - the rest is just fluff and fancy.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: question for the newbie - 9/23/2008 6:17:48 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epiphanie

I've heard a million answers to this question, and the concensus of what I've heard is that a Slave has no limits, a submissive has limits. Some have even gone so far as to say that a slave has no "safe word", which I believe is, not only stupid, but utterly dangerous.


Ah I love the smell of absolutes in the morning!  And yet, contradictions are far more fun, do you not believe?
I have no limitations.  I never use a safe word.  I am not designated as slave.
And I believe to use the SSC mantra without knowing nor understanding it's meaning, as well as using codes as safewords is pretty dangerous.
Go figure. 
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: question for the newbie - 9/23/2008 9:01:19 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuniculis

What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?  I have a general idea, but I'm not quite sure and am pretty new to kink (and love it!).  But it was just something I was wondering.


Depends entirely on who you talk to. I'd suggest you are better off getting the personal defination of the people you are talking to and not assuming much based off the personal labels people use.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cuniculis)
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RE: question for the newbie - 9/23/2008 9:11:02 AM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		I think everyone, and every releationship has it's own definition of slave, or submissive.
In my own releationship it is defined as my beloved hubbypet came to me with submissive feelings, wishing to submit to a dominant woman. He grew in our releationship, we built trust, care, love, and growth, and that releationship developed into his offer to give himself completly to me, as my slave. He has no limits ( I do though) he has no safe word ( I feel I should know what is going on with him before he could ever think to say a code word). He belongs to me as much as legally possible. He is my slave.
just my .2 cents




_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

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