AAkasha
Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lokisgodhi
MsSonnetMarwood wrote:
"Interesting. In a nutshell, you feel that if a Domme expects anything, she's a scam artist and out for your money."
That's because they usually are. I'd rather be pleasantly surprised to be wrong than to be constantly disappointed at being right. That and that it generally saves time.
A domme should expect a lot. She should expect that she's the only woman I want to take long walks and watch the sunset with. She should expect that I believe that her fanny is the most adorable one in the universe and that I can't resist giving it a pat when I walk by even though I know It'll likely get me thrashed till I resemble the south end of a north bound zebra. She should expect that she's the only woman I want to see beside me the first thing when I wake up and that last thing before I go to sleep. She should expect that shes the only I want to look at me like a hungry tigress eyeing an unattended lamb. She should expect to be the only woman I want to come up with appropriate penalties that make directing sarcastic comments and using her as a straight man not nearly as much fun as it was when I thought of doing it.
She should not expect that I'm a walking atm machine or gift/service delivery service.
"In my experience, those so paranoid (whch is the correct word here) about women being out for their money, don't actually have any."
And that makes it even worse. I see no difference between them and televangelists who bilk old people out of their pension money that they can can't afford to spend or telemarketers who call alzheimer's sufferers and claim that the had agreed to send them a large check for a purchase in order to extract money.
I'm emphatically in favor of dominants who judge prospective partners by their finances[or lack thereof] of being tossed feet first in a wood chipper. BDSM relationship is [or should be] about being positive aspect of the participants life
"I'm not interested in being dependant financially on a sub, but on the flip side, I'm not going to have him being dependant on me either. "
Submissives rarely ask for support form their dominant. But how many personal ads do you see has for 'generous' partners at least fifty percent if not more.
"Over the last 12 years or so, I've spent literally thousands of dollars of my own money on everything BDSM related, ranging from books (hi John!), to lectures, to weekend conferences, to group & club memberships, to toys (and more toys), to fetish wear (and even more toys). There is no dollar measure on how much I've invested of my time and self into this.
If I were "in this" for the money, I'm clearly going about it the wrong way.
I don't begrudge having shelled out this kind of money. Truly. I'm a better (not bitter) person for having invested myself in learning more about this lifestyle. I truly enjoy what I do.
Well so have many submissives. They don't expect to be rembursed for their interests. Well you're evidentally in for the gifts you can scam.
"However, to be called a "scam artist" because I expect basic date etiquette and a little show of appreciation from a submissive? As if my goal of spending $10,000+ was designed to get guys to take me out and spend $100 on dinner. Ironic, really."
Consider it a welcome to the 21st century. Aren't you arrogant to expect vanilla dating etiquette should apply to to the scene. Yet another 'domme' who thinks that they're entitled to the priviledges of being a dominant but not having to take the responsibilities.
Just because dominant women aren't courting you and buying you dinner doesn't mean they don't exist; it means YOU aren't attracting them. If all you are attracting are money dommes -- if the only ones that will consider playing with you (despite all your experience you speak of) are the ones that are looking for men to dupe -- what does that say about you?
Subs like you believe they are shocking and edgy by coming on here and first complaining that all femdoms are in it for the money, then slapping on some "bad boy sub" attitude, as if your submission should be "earned" by one of us lowly femdoms who are obviously missing out on all you have to offer. Seriously, it's a dance we've seen for years. If you could not find yourself a single, non-money femdom in all your years and years of exposure to the "scene" then maybe you need to look inward.
The "me tough sub, me throw femdom over my shoulder to get a reaction" attitude goes over like a lead balloon.
You have to remember that not all femdoms are swarming the lowly "scene" which is filled with hoardes of subpar men who are desperate, poor, unhygeinic, lacking social skills, painfully horny looking for that one needle in a haystack. We don't have the time nor energy. If you could not clean up your act -- then or now -- to stand out and shine as classy and unique, it's your own fault. The subs that drop the "poor me" attitude, the "all femdoms are scam artists," whiners are the ones that do well because they stand out in a huge way. They wear a smile, they have a "never say die" attitude, they laugh about life and they know they could date succesfully in the vanilla world. They are not isolated and in fantasyland, waiting years for that special femdom to drop out of the sky and pick him out of a crowded room and pursue him like he's the most desirable man on the planet. Trust me, it isn't going to happen -- not with *that* sullen, sour puss attitude.
Keep in mind, many femdoms also have a full dating pool of vanilla-but-open-minded men who have nice jobs, know how to court a lady and don't get their panties in the wad at the concept of showing a woman a nice time on his dime. There are actually some subs now that grip their wallet tighter than the ones gripping their cock. Both are seeking an unrealistic fantasy: You won't get something for nothing -- and, you better have something to offer. If it isn't class, conversation, wit, charm and charisma then your options will be limited to those that will accept money in order to tolerate your presence and indulge your fantasies.
Akasha
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