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Have you ever walked away from a Dom because you loved him too much? Because he didn't do what a lover would do -- relinquish some control in the name of love. Because he steadfastly refused to open up to you, share his feelings, tell his weakness, his frailties, his vulnerabilities -- everything that makes him a man in love instead of a Master. Because he refused to be vulnerable. Because he just didn't love you back...

Or conversely, have you ever walked away from a Dom because HE fell in love with you, got completely wrapped around your finger or became too deferential or worried about your feelings, that it destroyed the dom-sub foundation of your relationship?

(Think: The end of 9 1/2 weeks where Mickey Rourke tries to open up about his life but by this time it's too late)

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Think: The end of 9 1/2 weeks where Mickey Rourke

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Have you ever walked away from a Dom because you loved him too much? Because he didn't do what a lover would do -- relinquish some control in the name of love. Because he steadfastly refused to open up to you, share his feelings, tell his weakness, his frailties, his vulnerabilities -- everything that makes him a man in love instead of a Master. Because he refused to be vulnerable.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

here is a third corner of the triangle, no less important - confidence. Confidence that your partner is being honest and trustworthy. Confidence that your partner won't change. Confidence that you can act upon your physical, emotional, and mental desires and your partner will encourage you to do so. And most importantly, the confidence if you ask the question; "What's wrong?"; you'll get an honest answer.

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ORIGINAL: fastlane

I can't answer either of those questions because I'm BiPolar and I don't know which side to take.
They are interesting though...and scary to think about. Why do you think so much? Why don't you just submit and be happy?
Why do you want all that mushy shiat oozing from your Dom?

Then, conversley if it did ooze out and he lost control over you, who would you blame?

Geez, where the fuck is my Polar Bear....You're freakin me out!

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Have you ever walked away from a Dom because you loved him too much? Because he didn't do what a lover would do -- relinquish some control in the name of love. Because he steadfastly refused to open up to you, share his feelings, tell his weakness, his frailties, his vulnerabilities -- everything that makes him a man in love instead of a Master. Because he refused to be vulnerable.

Why are those too things exclusive? We'd argue that the trust necessary for a Dom to show his vulnerability is no less important than a sub's needs to show theirs. We believe it's not only not exclusive but essential. Otherwise your ideal dom, or a dom's ideal sub, needs to be psychic as to the other's feelings. It's difficult enough to find a compatible partner. A psychic compatible partner may be nearly impossible.

Conversely we don't believe it's possible to love "too much"? We both appreciate the dichotomy of loving someone and being the facilitator of an intense physical exchange, or a session that includes what would be considered humiliation. However, humiliation and the physical are an essential part of the foundation of the relationship; its not conflicting with love. We'd argue that instead it's an expression of that love.

There is much discussion about honesty and trust being the cornerstones of a relationship. There is a third corner of the triangle, no less important - confidence. Confidence that your partner is being honest and trustworthy. Confidence that your partner won't change. Confidence that you can act upon your physical, emotional, and mental desires and your partner will encourage you to do so. And most importantly, the confidence if you ask the question; "What's wrong?"; you'll get an honest answer.

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Have you ever walked away from a Dom because you loved him too much? Because he didn't do what a lover would do -- relinquish some control in the name of love.