Applied Kink

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IvyMorgan -> Applied Kink (9/23/2008 1:30:41 PM)
On Monday, I (finally) started in a therapeutic community, we do a lot of group therapy, and today, I said my first thing (go me!) Anyway, the comment I came up with boiled down to, "do you feel you want us to punish you, as if you need to be punished to create some kind of catharsis, wipe the slate clean and then start over, doing better, able to ask for help next time, and that the mistakes you've made before won't count now?" The reply was, "where did we get you from, and why are you so wise?" I declined to point out, that, to me, this was "kink 101: guilty submissive" So, have you "applied kink" to a completely unrelated area of life? Has your perverted knowledge of knot-tying saved the day during a near-miss sailing accident? Did your needle-play first aid help when the office temp injured herself with a stapler? Applied Kink. Thoughts?

softness -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 1:48:25 PM)
I will get modded for saying this .. bet you 10p ... but I use D/s power games mind manipulation and punishment reward structures every day at work. here are a couple of examples The Dominatrix Has the slavish devotion of the geeky thugs .. who will do literally anything I ask in return for a gold star from Miss Soft's Special Box. Miss Soft's detentions are the worst in school ... and no matter how long it takes Her .. She will find you at 3pm and She will make you colour in individual squares on graph paper, with a blunt pencil, without going over the lines. Or count how many sheets of paper there are in her scrap paper box ... twice .. just to be sure. Miss Soft's "Look" will reduce a class to silence ... and 6th formers to tears. Miss Soft asking for quiet once is bad, twice is frightening ... no class has ever dared to make her ask three times. The "Helpless" female Softie has behaviour progess classes ... the thugs the other thugs are scared of. When asked the secret of how I managed to get the criminally minded, drug filled little darlings to work for me ... I revealed my secret. ... big puppy eyes, a heavy sigh .. a trembling lip and a .... "Please boys ... I can't do it without you ... please ... do it for me" followed by more heavy sighing and eyelash fluttering .. these classes are made up of alpha males in waiting ... what works on the Man ... works on the boy. This is also very helpful when fathers come to PTA consultations .... in all seriousness though ... I work with damaged, frightened, insecure youngsters .. they need structure, guidance, consistency and discipline ... in fact they thrive on it. I prove to them day in day out that tursting me and trusting my judgement and advice makes their lives better and more successful ... just like any Dominant should for a submissive. waits for a modding

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 1:49:58 PM)
It's very hard to say and my guess will become harder as people grow into adults simultaneously as they grow into kink. The divisions will be far less visible or even existant. Did I learn to be good at learning how to read people because I was in such complex polyamorous relationships? Or because I seriously listened to teachers who guides me to those skills? Or because I'm just naturally very good at it? I think it consistently shows that there's really nothing different between Ds and vanilla relationships and people other than the authority transfer and particular hobbies we prefer. It's all the same issues.

Gleegal67 -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 1:51:01 PM)
Applied Kink; First Aid kit that is handy all the time for those emergencies that tend to come about in day to day life. Crop handy for punishments to really instill what the kidlings(18+yrs old) should NOT be doing...too long of a list for here! Knowledge in dealing with clients that are Dominant or submissive in their nature...even if they don't know it...to provide excellent customer service and make my business successful. Utilizing my sexual knowledge to entertain people...they just never know if my knowledge is applied or book learned. I love applying my knowledge of kink...in so many creative ways!

IvyMorgan -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 2:00:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness I will get modded for saying this .. bet you 10p ... She will find you at 3pm and She will make you colour in individual squares on graph paper, with a blunt pencil, without going over the lines. waits for a modding a) You are evil. I must remember this. b) You can collect your 10p on Sunday.

DesFIP -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 4:38:55 PM)
Actually it isn't applied kink but the forum that is so helpful, imo. In many ways, forums (fora) are like group therapy, self help groups. You hang around enough and listen to others talk, you will hear stuff that resonates with you. Congrats on a wonderful beginning with the therapeutic community. One caveat; the more you know, the less you will feel as though your problems aren't worth talking about and the more you won't share because the others seem to need the time that much more. Talk to your group leader about this to be sure you get your time in, if necessary call her ahead of the session so she knows you need attention that day.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 6:08:53 PM)
I worked in several OBGYN facilities back in the 70s. Because OBGYN, as well as dentistry and proctology are body cavity invasive practices, patients have intimacy issues and become nervous. I often functioned as an OR assistant among other things and I found using a soft “Domly voice” and taking a clam controlling manner with them would sooth the patient and evoke trust alleviating their tension. It works on animals too.

persephonee -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 6:13:24 PM)
i have an appointment at the end of the week...could You come up and help a girl out??....[:D]

ResidentSadist -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 6:30:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee i have an appointment at the end of the week...could You come up and help a girl out??....[:D] “I’ll make sure the speculum is warm for you baby! Now just lay back and relax, you are gonna’ do just fine. That’s a good girl. We are just going to examine your female equipment and make sure you are in perfect working order. You’ll like the doctor, he is charming and an expert in his field. I’ve been working with him for years and I will personally get the lab work done so you can be out of here in jiffy.”

sistermargaret -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 9:39:41 PM)
Well, i got my daily laugh today, just blew my ice tea all over the keyboard. Thanks RS. Oh Gawd yes i've used it. I was an EMT for a big city ambualnce company, and i had about 15 seconds to gain the UNDYING trust of someone who who hurt, scared shitless, confused, stupid, drunk, stoned or bleeding profusely and trapped. You bet i was flutter lashes Domme in charge. Same in the ICU, ER and home care. Institutions too. Now, tho, i'm doing something completely different within a Native American culture, and i get the feeling that a good slave is a handy thing to be right now :) i adore working with Natives. They are very cool and i feel comfortable and comforted working there. No negative vibes whatsoever. i also have the lowest possible job on the totum pole and that's OK. The last thing in the world i feel like being is the Dominant again. Way too much stess. Good post. sm All it takes is absolute surrender

ResidentSadist -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 10:29:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sistermargaret Well, i got my daily laugh today……. <adjusts lab coat and puts stethoscope in top pocket before speaking because it draws attention to my uniform and equipment, inspiring confidence in the patient> So I see you are also schooled in Medical Jargon for Distressed Patients 101.

bluefireroses -> RE: Applied Kink (9/23/2008 11:57:45 PM)
I think for me it's the simple slip of the tongue around co-workers. The other day everyone complained that I was exceptionally "bitchy", I replied that I just needed a good beating. The one guy was like, "oh, no I know what you need". I was happy to inform him that it just wasn't the same... However, I believe that psychology and D/s are very much entwined. At times, it is hard for me to tell which is which. When I am trying to get one of my employees to do some thing they really don't want to do, I get flashbacks of overcoming some of my softer limits. Sometimes the work is motivated by reward, other times I simply have them focus on a more desirable part of the act until they realize it isn't so bad.

WhiplashSmile2 -> RE: Applied Kink (9/24/2008 1:50:32 AM)
It's a little hard for me to not apply kink, BDSM or D/s in many areas of day to day life. Even when I'm watching TV shows or movies, I look at things a little differently.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Applied Kink (9/24/2008 4:57:59 AM)
Good question. I observe D/s tendencies in others and shoot out psychic, discombobulating beams with my dark eyes at submissive women I run across. (Okay, I really stare at them.)

scarlethiney -> RE: Applied Kink (9/24/2008 6:33:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I worked in several OBGYN facilities back in the 70s. Because OBGYN, as well as dentistry and proctology are body cavity invasive practices, patients have intimacy issues and become nervous. I often functioned as an OR assistant among other things and I found using a soft “Domly voice” and taking a clam controlling manner with them would sooth the patient and evoke trust alleviating their tension. It works on animals too. Oh geez................................I knew you looked familiar

thetammyjo -> RE: Applied Kink (9/24/2008 6:40:31 AM)
I think how I teach is very similar to how I train. Clarify, Model, Facilitate. Once I explain what I want I make sure to check in and see what needs clarifying through a series of 'tests' to point out real misunderstandings not reported ones. Then I model how I want things done. Then I supply ample opportunities for practice and further explorations. All with the goal of producing someone more self-empowered though in the case of Ds so they can use their power for me first and foremost.

DMFParadox -> RE: Applied Kink (9/24/2008 7:16:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bluefireroses I think for me it's the simple slip of the tongue around co-workers. The other day everyone complained that I was exceptionally "bitchy", I replied that I just needed a good beating. The one guy was like, "oh, no I know what you need". I was happy to inform him that it just wasn't the same... However, I believe that psychology and D/s are very much entwined. At times, it is hard for me to tell which is which. When I am trying to get one of my employees to do some thing they really don't want to do, I get flashbacks of overcoming some of my softer limits. Sometimes the work is motivated by reward, other times I simply have them focus on a more desirable part of the act until they realize it isn't so bad. I can help you with that one, darlin'. I'm feeling the need to deliver a good merciless beating right about now.

sistermargaret -> RE: Applied Kink (9/24/2008 12:41:29 PM)
Yes, Sir, i was very good at it . But, now i'm playing it from the other side, and i'm amazed at how far a simple, quiet, flutter lashed "Oh, why thank you" ...(Sir/Ma'am) will go. I don't say the honorifics, but those who know ... know. Its kind of like a secret handshake or something, only oh so subliminal. sm All it takes is absolute surrender

MaamJay -> RE: Applied Kink (9/27/2008 3:50:16 AM)
Well I obviously used to apply it unconsciously to My choir, because when they were being "naughty" and talking amongst themselves, I would pull them into line with My Dommly voice (aka teacher voice) and they were prone to answer "Yes Ma'am!" ... and sometimes I would hear mutterings of "Better be good or she'll bring her whip next week!" And that was from the churchgoing ones who had absolutely no idea of what I was into!! It was all I could do not to choke with laughter. Maam Jay aka violet[A]

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Applied Kink (9/27/2008 3:53:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I worked in several OBGYN facilities back in the 70s. Because OBGYN, as well as dentistry and proctology are body cavity invasive practices, patients have intimacy issues and become nervous. I often functioned as an OR assistant among other things and I found using a soft “Domly voice” and taking a clam controlling manner with them would sooth the patient and evoke trust alleviating their tension. It works on animals too. Oooooh kinky. Whats a clam controlling matter? Does it squeeze shut on my bits???

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