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Warning Others?? - 12/1/2005 8:29:16 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
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I got an email today from a profile that I've never seen before but, IMO, was set up strictly to "out" someone that this person obviously has some sort of issue with. The basic contect of the message was "if you're talking to so and so you need to know he's married, has kids and won't leave his wife for a submissive." That's it. I read it and was like, WTF?

I realize there are a lot of people all over the internet who lie about all sorts of things and hurt others in the process. I realize that some people feel they have a duty to "warn" others. Myself, I have rather mixed feelings on the whole thing. No, I don't advocate people going around intentionally misleading and hurting others. I don't know anyone who'd say that's OK. At the same time unless the source for such information is one I know to be reliable I have no reason to believe them either.

What would you think if you received such a message? Is it ok?

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RE: Warning Others?? - 12/1/2005 8:48:30 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

Myself, I have rather mixed feelings on the whole thing. No, I don't advocate people going around intentionally misleading and hurting others. I don't know anyone who'd say that's OK. At the same time unless the source for such information is one I know to be reliable I have no reason to believe them either.

I too have mixed feelings about such a message. I don't particularly appreciate anonymous messages from someone I don't know or trust, but I would most certainly have apreciated if one of my "alleged" friends warned me about 1 one my exes (married with children). M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MsIncognito)

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RE: Warning Others?? - 12/1/2005 8:49:32 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

quote:

What would you think if you received such a message? Is it ok?

I don't understand the "Is it okay?"
But I will say I have received
potentional back stabbing e-mails about others on the boards and
I either don't respond or
I respond saying"I can't be bothered, because the truth is I can't
and I don't want to be.

*Brightspot

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"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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(in reply to MsIncognito)

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RE: Warning Others?? - 12/1/2005 8:55:39 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I don't feel it is ok. If you feel the need to warn someone have proof to back it up with.
If no proof, then it isn't real.

You should have reported the profile to the mods I am sure it is against their tos here.

I know dangerous people in my local scene. I don't necessarily warn other's but I do watch out over them when they are at one of my functions. I won't hesitate to step in and remedy any situation that may arise.

So, when people come to me I listen. File it in my mind somewhere and bring it to the forefront when necessary.
It is entirely too easy for a childlike person to get mad at someone and start spreading rumor's. I am too smart to buy into that sort of behavior.

(in reply to MsIncognito)

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RE: Warning Others?? - 12/1/2005 9:11:20 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

If i got a warning about someone i would see if what they were saying had any grounds for validation if i thought it could effect my life in any way shape or form.
i would do this knowing there are some back-stabbng bitchy trouble causing people in the world but i would never forgive myself if i got entangled in something that i lived to regret after beng warned. i would also tell the person that was being talked about.

(in reply to sub4hire)

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RE: Warning Others?? - 12/1/2005 10:59:34 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

the opnly time I will accept such mail and believe it to be ok is when the following is present:

1). I know the sender. that is to say:

1a). I have been in contact with the sender regularly and thus may claim either a close aquaintanceship or a cyber friendship

OR

1b). I know the person physically (ie. in real life as opposed to the cyber world), and i have some form of relationship with that person enough to have some trust.

2). The matter I am being warned about is something specific and is to some degree verifiable. E.G. A friend contacts me warning me about someone i have recently met that this new person is know to try to break up relationships or is strongly suspected (ie. insufficient evidence for an official investigation) in being involved in illegal activities.

To some degree I rely on such contact information from a wide network of people who are able to access information I can not access myself.

In all cases I take the infiormation on board and without being too judgemental just keep my ears and eyes open more that usual. If it affecred my family I may brief Neets as well is she is involved too....

All other "Informative", backstabbing or gosip messages I thank the sender and dispose the information in the WPB13.

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Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to slavejali)

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RE: Warning Others?? - 12/1/2005 11:51:55 PM

Phoenxx

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline

An unasked for warning arrives in my email about so and so, from someone I don’t know. Personally I look at it as spam and give it as much attention. I may forward it to the person who it is about so they know what is going on.
If it is in real life, and I do know some of those involved, I may consider it.
It would sit heavy on my soul to hear that someone was abused if it could have been prevented.
If someone asks me for a reference about someone or what I know of them, I tend to say positive things, or nothing. And then I gossip with close personal friends that I know do not share with others LOL
Tony

(in reply to MsIncognito)

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Post #: 7

RE: Warning Others?? - 12/2/2005 12:18:18 AM

ModeratorOne