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i need advice - 9/25/2008 8:43:06 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		warning: this is meant in jest ... don't take it so seriously

it has come to my attention (for some time now) that i'm not an actual twue submissive. all this time i thought i was. i've tried so hard obtaining the covetted twue submissive status that i've failed miserably.

*crying*

please, i'm on my knees begging for the community's help and/or advice - how does this bad, rebellious lil girl become twue?

i want to be so twue for my Daddy...

thank you

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


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Profile   Post #: 1
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 8:51:29 AM   
DDraigeuraid


Posts: 321
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline 		Read through the entire Dear Cali thread.  If that dosen't make you a twue sub, at least you'll get a few laughs.
Dragon

_____________________________

Meddle Not in the Affairs of Dragons
For you are Crunchy, and taste good Flame Broiled

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 9:24:47 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		The only solution is my one month, study from home (my home, to be precise), "Twue Submission" course. The next course will be running as soon as you can get here, and a Certificate is provided for satisfactory completion which you can show your Daddy and be the envy of your friends!

Just a single payment of $199.99, or take the easy payment option of 200 payments of $9.99 - I'm sure I wont be disappointed with the results!

E 

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to DDraigeuraid)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 9:28:32 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*signs up for LadyE's course*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 9:31:31 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Oh no GT! You're not getting into Fortress Britain that easily!

Anyway, it wouldnt work; the whole month chatting and laughing - we'd never get through the course, and people might get the idea it lacked credibility!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 9:33:56 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*sobs*

(it would be fun though.. :* )


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 9:39:25 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Certainly would! Have you tried a student visa?

Its one of the oldest scams around; I start the "Lady Ellen College of Whatever" and offer an English language course. Would be entrants to the UK sign up for the course and get their student visas on the strength of it - even though there's no college and no course! Once here, said entrants disappear off the radar and are rarely found - but it does mean living off-grid so its not all roses!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 9:44:14 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*runs to DL student visa forms*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 10:40:18 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

The only solution is my one month, study from home (my home, to be precise), "Twue Submission" course. The next course will be running as soon as you can get here, and a Certificate is provided for satisfactory completion which you can show your Daddy and be the envy of your friends!

Just a single payment of $199.99, or take the easy payment option of 200 payments of $9.99 - I'm sure I wont be disappointed with the results!

E 


Do you take money orders or bank drafts? can I send it in Canadian currency?



_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 10:48:52 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

warning: this is meant in jest ... don't take it so seriously

it has come to my attention (for some time now) that i'm not an actual twue submissive. all this time i thought i was. i've tried so hard obtaining the covetted twue submissive status that i've failed miserably.

*crying*

please, i'm on my knees begging for the community's help and/or advice - how does this bad, rebellious lil girl become twue?

i want to be so twue for my Daddy...

thank you


Sambasis......there are several criteria you must meet before you are allowed to advance to being a twue subbie

1 - Send Lady E and myself a tribute of $299.99 to both of us.
2 - Write a ten page essay on why you feel you are fit to be a twue submissive. This must include a bibliography, footnotes and notarized by 5 Dominants.
3 - Hand over all passwords to email, online accounts to all the sites you have an account with and a signed and verified current bank account(s)
4 - You must send 10-20 emails to myself and Lady E each day stating what you are doing, how you are feeling and in return we will send you lists of chores you must obey.
5 - We require that you always be on your knees when you approach us, this means in public also.

*note - more to come*


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 11:11:24 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

it has come to my attention (for some time now) that i'm not an actual twue submissive.


Never were truer words spoken in jest

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 11:18:44 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Okay so there are a few different things that can be done. I will mention all the ones that don't Violate TOS.

You can give me tribute of an unsecured American Express Card and keep it paid off monthly because a twue sub would want to act as if they had a lobotomy
 
You can go to Wal-Mart and Purchace a TOP OF THE LINE Web Cam and then Purchace Grotesquely Large Dildos and Genitalia Torture Devices and broadcast the feed openly to anyone I decide is worthy to watch because a twue sub would want all of the "Searching for nasty sluts" yahoo chat room to watch you defile your vagina
 
You can accompany me to a party where the ratio of men calling themselves Masters to girls willing to do what they are told is 75 to 1 and then service all my "Close Personal Friends" to show how willing you are to surrender to my will because a twue sub needs a VD or STD and Random Screenings just for fun

You can meet me in an abandoned warehouse (you know for atmosphere) then get onto the oddly stained and beat up medicle examiners table (you know for sensory involvement) and then let me strap you down while I go about filling 55 gallon drums with Bleach because all twue subs give thier trust and devotion completely on the first visit

You can meet me in a hotel room for a wild night of Anal Sex and Roofies (some for me some for you we'll figure out the order when you get there) and then you can go back home and we can continue to talk but only after 10pm and before 5pm and only every other weekend when oddly enough I'm always doing a side job because all twue subs are retarded and can't tell when the man they are screwing in hotel rooms are really married.

So just gimme a call and we'll set up a time and I'l hand you your Twue Sub University Diploma, the Card to a Good VD doctor in your area, and the ball pin hammer to bash yourself in the temple with until the brain damage is sufficent to make you believe any of the above is a GOOD idea.

Steel


_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 11:21:14 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*smoooches Steel*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 11:52:44 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

... i've tried so hard obtaining the covetted twue submissive status that i've failed miserably.

*crying*

... i'm on my knees begging


samba - first thing is ignore all offers for help involving payment. Posts from Lady E and bear and Steel are probably wicked forgeries; the real Lady E and bear and Steel would never ask you for money! And take care with the scary misst - unless you like slippery wriggly items; I've checked the manual and it clearly states that, whilst firmly acceptable, it is NOT a requirement for submissives to pop wrigglies up their pussies to be considered twue.

Fortunately, and by mere coincidence, my course requires no money changing hands, simply total devotion, and involves no wrigglies.

I feel you have clear potential - sobbing is good, on the knees is good. A sense of failure is a tricky one; the general idea of worthlessness can be good, but a twue sub takes pride in her submission. You must work at this. Maybe the old stand-in-front-of-the-mirror thing where you tell yourself "every day in every way I am becoming more and more submissive"? After a week try the daring addition of "... twuely I am".

But I feel also you have a long way to go - you wisely sense you're not twue but I note you haven't mentioned anything about weal submission. Until you're ready to explore weality you only qualify for novice status. (Sowwy - it's a hard road you travel).


(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 11:55:42 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
 
You can go to Wal-Mart and Purchace a TOP OF THE LINE Web Cam and then Purchace Grotesquely Large Dildos and Genitalia Torture Devices...



Damn...I never knew Walmart sold that stuff


_____________________________

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TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 11:59:13 AM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
 
You can go to Wal-Mart and Purchace a TOP OF THE LINE Web Cam and then Purchace Grotesquely Large Dildos and Genitalia Torture Devices...


Damn...I never knew Walmart sold that stuff



In the sporting goods dept.  Most people call them baseball bats, and they will also serve as a cane if need be.  Baseballs can be used as makeshift benwa balls, and archery arrows can be used for play piercing in a pinch.


_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 12:02:37 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

... In the sporting goods dept.  Most people call them baseball bats, and they will also serve as a cane if need be.  Baseballs can be used as makeshift benwa balls, and archery arrows can be used for play piercing in a pinch.




You, young lady, are entirely too perverted to be pure. 

(in reply to purepleasure)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 12:08:28 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen


Just a single payment of $199.99, or take the easy payment option of 200 payments of $9.99 - I'm sure I wont be disappointed with the results!

E 


I just like that if you take the easy payment plan you end up paying her $1998.00 That was BEAUTIFUL!!

Apparently to be a Twue Sub you better suck at Math so you don't know how badly you are getting screwed.

LMAO

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 12:14:25 PM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

... In the sporting goods dept.  Most people call them baseball bats, and they will also serve as a cane if need be.  Baseballs can be used as makeshift benwa balls, and archery arrows can be used for play piercing in a pinch.




You, young lady, are entirely too perverted to be pure. 


Thank you for noticing, Mr. Sundowner.  Coming from you, I shall take that as a compliment.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: i need advice - 9/25/2008 12:25:54 PM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		As for being a twue submissive, I believe it also involves typing in 3rd person in extremely large pink font.  Although, if you do, do this, the rest of us twue subs will despise you.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to purepleasure)
Profile   Post #: 20
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