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MasterBabe -> RE: "Hard limits" (9/28/2008 5:30:51 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zakkan
Do you decide what you hard limits are after you experienced them, or you list certain things as hard limits simply because you are apprehensive?
For example, someone who has never experienced knife play before lists it as a hard limit. He does not know anything about knife play, but the word "knife" just scares him off. One day someone ties him down and forces him to experience it, and he finds out that its quite fun.
If your dom/sub suggests that you try out something you listed as a hard limit, but have little or no prior knowledge of, will you let him/her?
Personal preference is set hard limits on what you have tried or things that you simply find "too extreme". That said there are no hard and fast rules; as a dominant I have always asked for each and every hard limit for the background on the hard limit to get an understanding. In discussions I open the issue of at some later point of exploring that limit to see if it is genuine or if it should be let go. Limits can be eliminated or added to over the course of time and what might be a hard limit between one sub and one dom, may not exist between that same sub and the next dom. Discussion is very important in all cases and it needs to be handled in a non-pressured environment, ie, not when the dominant is looking to do it in the next scene.
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