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What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place do yo... - 9/26/2008 7:03:58 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		QUESTION: What safe, secure, yet still D/s-private locale do you meet for 1st-time afternoon D/s playtime?

Main requirements: Convenience. Safety. Comfort. Privacy. Three hours minimum.

Framing this question further, assume both can not host, assume it's an afternoon or early evening tryst, assume it's the first meeting after (what always turns out to be extensive) emailing), assume he's the Top, she's the bottom (if that matters), and assume playtime privacy is required (therefore meeting at a bar doesn't count because you can't easily play in the girls' restroom). Assume cost isn't an issue (within reason of course, e.g., renting a private bed-and-bath airplane to join the mile-high club isn't pragmatic for most).

Assume he's already asked her for a local intersection convenient to her (assuming the bottom should never have to do anything except provide the gift of herself, without fuss and artificial coyness) therefore, the task at hand is for the top to now find a place for them to meet for the sensual encounter where he will direct her to meet.

Other than hotels, bathhouses, and the great outdoors, I've run out of additional ideas for places to play; hence I ask this elite group for an additional suggestion for a type of place to search for that allows BDSM interaction between two people meeting on neutral ground for the first time, given only an intersection on a google map. Any ideas?
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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 7:21:18 AM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		If your meeting in person for the first time, why not do it in public, at a coffee shop or such? Remember the "sparks" might not be there if you haven't met in person before.
Honestly from what you wrote it sounds like two married people looking for a no tell motel to cheat with each other in.

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 7:23:01 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		The Patio Area of Starbucks is a Staple even though I refuse to drink thier coffee there is another Coffee House in the area whose coffee isn't ass juice.

Play on a First Meet. Not something I expect or try to acomplish. My Suggestion is just meet to meet and if you need a place to play get a Motel room once you have both agreed on it. This way everyone is on the same page as to what will and will not happen on the first meet.

For God's Sakes people what is the rush? If this IS the ONE then you can wait a few meets before you bend them over and practice your exit strategy.

First Meet get to know them and I DON'T mean in the Biblical Sense!

Steel

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 7:26:50 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		if I read this correctly, the OP isnt saying that this is a first MEET, just a first PLAYTIME meet...

Pomp.. why cant meeting at a public place be a D/s thing? Subtle service, etc.. then move to a hotel room.. for the more physical stuff...


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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 7:30:32 AM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		I always like going to an S&M club or event for a first time play unless I know the person extremely well.  There are usually fairly private areas in these places.  

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 7:39:59 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		hehe...Steel said...exit strategy...hehe.

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 7:48:07 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

QUESTION: What safe, secure, yet still D/s-private locale do you meet for 1st-time afternoon D/s playtime?


I meet them a few times and if they are nice folks, I may bring them as a guest to a local play night so that we can engage in private play but have people within shouting distance.

Or, I may invite them to my home while my spouse is there but staying in his room while I visit. (or arrange similar with a friend at my or their house)

Honestly, though, I find the constant assumption *within* the kink community that someone kink-oriented is more a dangerous risk than someone (assumed not to be) kink-oriented very humorous. 

As it's been addressed in other threads, how many worry this much if/when it's an assumed-vanilla first time having sex (or one night stand) or inviting a plumber into one's home to fix the toilet or going to someone else's house for dinner the first time?

The reality is any of those cases are just as likely, absolutely no less as likely, to turn dangerous.  In fact, there's a good case to be made that they've a higher risk to them.  Few rapists and murderers advertise that they want to do "deviant" things to their dinner guests, professional clients, or boy/girlfriend... more people are attacked by the nice gal/guy, the friend/family/co-worker for years, etc at a vanilla meeting of some sort.

The increased risk/danger is an illusion and assumption.  Someone who behaves as a normal, balanced and trustworthy person who openly expresses an interest in, safely and with consideration to your limits, dragging a knife over your body is actually the same or less likely to stab you than a person who expresses (or in most cases, is just assumed to have)little to no interest in any such thing while chopping carrots with a kitchen knife talking about the weather.

It's like how people ignore how common it is for people to be attacked by a spouse or long-term family friend, but act as though one could be attacked any moment on the street.

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 7:49:02 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I stand Corrected thank you GT.

In that case. Unless you have a Public Dungeon in your area there is no such thing as safe and nuetral for D/s Play.

I would suggest you attend a Munch and find out what play parties are in your area and see if you can be introduced to the DM.

My apologies on the misunderstanding.

Steel


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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 7:51:56 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		The OP did say a first time meet after extensive emailing ... in which case, I agree with Steel, I don't go for play. I stick to a public place and a getting to know you encounter.

For the first play meet, some time after the first chat meet, if I couldn't host it, I would opt for a play party.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 10:32:20 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

For God's Sakes people what is the rush?


I agree with this. I've been reading Cm posts for a few days now, and I'm struck with how eager people are commit or to jump into a relationship with someone they've only contacted online.

It's not the Blue Light Special at K-Mart, folks. There's time to meet in person and get a better impression of whether the person is all they've represented themselves to be, etc., and then decide whether to move forward with things.

But, sometimes things happen, so, to answer the OP, I can't think of a place to play for 3 hours other than those he's outlined already. It may be that his local community has some sort of play space that can be rented, but that would take a bit of research to discover, and might not be convenient to a target intersection supplied on a Google map.

Once, at the end of a first meeting, we went to a local art school and I just happened to find an empty classroom, but, alas, there was too much activity going on in the hallway to really get very into it. Not a very private spot. Still fun, though.

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 11:46:03 AM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		Going with an additional assumption that the two hypothetical people have met for coffee (I personally like Starbucks, bring on the ass juice, but would prefer my own coffee at home) or donuts, or whatever first.  Now its time to meet for some playtime. 

The home of a very trusting, trustworthy, and understanding friend?  Gas station bathroom?  (wait, never mind, eww)  As others have said, there is always the option of the local dungeon, and all of these could theoretically be found on a google map, provided you have an address to plug in. 

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 12:03:36 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		A self storage facility.  

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 12:03:38 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The first meet was at a bookstore with a coffee shop.
The first play meet was my house because I needed to be in my comfort zone.

The first play meet however was not the first meet.

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 2:49:02 PM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii
assume it's the first meeting after (what always turns out to be extensive) emailing
<snip>
Other than hotels, bathhouses, and the great outdoors, I've run out of additional ideas for places to play; hence I ask this elite group for an additional suggestion for a type of place to search for that allows BDSM interaction between two people meeting on neutral ground for the first time, given only an intersection on a google map. Any ideas?


-  Rent a dungeon for the afternoon.  Many prodoms will rent out their space if they have nothing else going on.
-  Suck it up and get a hotel room.
-  Ask yourself whether it's worth it to go to all this work for an iffy encounter with a stranger.  Wouldn't you like to at least meet them first?

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RE: What safe but neutral yet still D/s-private place d... - 9/26/2008 8:13:49 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

A self storage facility.


That's creative!
Some of the storage facilities around town are in very old, brick buildings in the industrial section, and do have a certain creepy ambiance that might be nice, if you're into that sort of thing.
Not sure if privacy could really be assured, though.

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