Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (Full Version)

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boltaction -> Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 7:17:25 AM)

Hello.

I am 22 and live in oregon. I have not had many relationships because I used to be self conscious about what I wanted in a relationship, which is to dominate over the woman and discipline her. This is just my natural thing.

Anyways, I have pretty much no experience, but that is all I fantasize about. As a sub, how does this affect your perception of the relationship and interest in having one?



starshineowned -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 7:25:20 AM)

Greetings..~smiles~

Just wish to ask for alittle clarification from you Boltaction if may:


Does being in control..the need to Dominate the relationship stem in your opinion naturally from you?..or does it just feel good for it to be that way because it gets you sexually excited to have that exchange?

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin



boltaction -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 7:31:38 AM)

Thanks for responding Starshine. [:)]

It is definately the latter. I do not find it natural to call the shots all the time outside the bedroom. It is sexually gratifying to control and discipline in a sexual situation.



littleone35 -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 10:22:20 AM)

Well personally i pefer experienced Doms but ther are some girls who like an inexperiened Doms. So even though you are not personally wha i am lookinf for i am sure ther is a sub out there who will suit you to a T. Good luck in your search.

littleone



sub4hire -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 10:48:49 AM)

If I were looking and you were open minded about learning it would mean nothing to me.
Reason being I don't know of anyone I ever met while searching who matched my interests perfectly.
So, that means someone is going to have to learn something.

If you have to learn anyway what is the difference if you learn a lot or a little?

For instance when I met my dom he used a specific spanking technique that would produce a welt within seconds.
I knew a local dom whose technique I knew I loved from experience...so I asked my dom if he would be willing to learn.
He said yes so we set up a play session/learning experience for him.



boltaction -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 10:56:24 AM)

I really appreciate all the responses, I am sure you all know how alone it can feel if you aren't "in" the community. The thing is I would prefer a relationship where we could both share the power outside the bedroom, while leaving the kink in the bedroom or at parties. Maybe I am looking for a mostly normal relationship! I bet there are many who feel the exact same way. Well, getting an opinion from this crowd makes me feel secure about the whole thing. Thanks.



Littlepita -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 10:56:44 AM)

My Sir has no experience in dominating inside a D/s relationship and I'm happy with it. I don't have any experience either. So we get the fun of learning it all together.



sweetpettjenny -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 1:44:40 PM)

It would be perfectly fine as long as he wanted the same in life as i



slavejali -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 2:11:38 PM)

As its just bedroom play you want, your probably attractive to a lot of women. There are lots of woman out there who like to have fun in the bedroom. Have fun learning and experimenting together.
The women you wont attract are the ones who want the full blown D/s M/s experience in life.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 2:30:13 PM)

Unless you are lucky, it's going to be very hard starting out to find a good sub partner to help grow with you/lead you up as a dom.

But go out, learn what you can, go to clubs and just be yourself.



IrishMist -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 4:11:36 PM)

quote:

But go out, learn what you can, go to clubs and just be yourself.


This is the best advice there is. Be yourself, be honest with not only yourself, but with others also.



perverseangelic -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 5:42:14 PM)

Be honest with your potential partner.

My first partner had no experience, nor has my second. With my first, we ended up realizing that he (and his primary partner) were both switches. Didn't affect our relationship, but was certainly interesting. With him, the big worry was that he tended to hit too hard without being sure of what he was doing. That was something that made me a little warry, -because- he was new to the tools. It required a lot of communication on my end to help him learn his craft better. But knowing he was as new as I helped us make that work.

With my lifepartner, it's been a constant series of conflicts and resolutions. When we got together he had no experience, nor, really any indeendant desire, and I'd been at this for some time. It's been a growning experience. I think that the biggest thing is to have very open communication. Also, to realize that the thigns that sound great in fantasy, often don't play out as well as you think they will.



fastlane -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 6:33:44 PM)

Get the hell out while you still can. See, you are already confused and it will only get worse.

Now, where the hell is my cane? I'm going to beat you arse!



BlueAngelSub -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 7:15:29 PM)

As an experienced sub. I would be miserable throught the experience.



pawschan -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 7:43:45 PM)

My Master, and myself, have very little expierience. We are enjoying learning and exploring this together. ^^ I think there is no problem with being with someone inexpierienced so long as eveyrone is careful and safe.



perverseangelic -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/2/2005 9:31:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Get the hell out while you still can. See, you are already confused and it will only get worse.

Now, where the hell is my cane? I'm going to beat you arse!


Oooo. Was that dirrected to me?! I feel special! :)

The confused -is- pretty confusing, but we're workin' on it, and definatly doing some growing.


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueAngelSub

As an experienced sub. I would be miserable throught the experience.


I'm not meaning to be an ass, but I'm honestly curious. Why would this be miserable?

Honest curiosity here, and I can definatly see where the problems lie, god knows we've encountered enough of them, but I'm curious as to another's opinion.



spikex -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/3/2005 3:19:26 AM)

Im an inexperienced sub myself, and I wouldnt mind it if a mistress was inexperienced, especially if she was around my age, that way we could learn and grow together.



sunshine333 -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/3/2005 5:20:47 AM)

we're all inexperienced in a new relationship. it doesn't matter how many partners in and out of the lifestyle anyone has had. meeting someone new and getting to know them puts us all in the beginner catagory. and on that level, there's no need to feel at a disadvantage.

if there are specific techniques you'd like to learn like flogging, whipping ... etc. you might want to look in your area for classes and workshops.

good luck and enjoy the process.

humbly,
sunshine



fyreredsub -> RE: Subs: opinions on inexperienced doms (12/3/2005 6:08:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boltaction

Hello.

I am 22 and live in oregon. I have not had many relationships because I used to be self conscious about what I wanted in a relationship, which is to dominate over the woman and discipline her. This is just my natural thing.

Anyways, I have pretty much no experience, but that is all I fantasize about. As a sub, how does this affect your perception of the relationship and interest in having one?


for myself, i need a strong master. or i will run the show.....i need consistancy........along w/ that strength or i will fail...as my good friends say...or i will eat a lessor man for lunch..........[8D]



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