RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (Full Version)

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MadAxeman -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (9/30/2008 6:46:35 AM)

A far right Christian evangelist, a Taliban cleric and a severely orthodox Rabbi go into a bar...
 
 
What a wonderful example of cultural co-existence.




HandSolo -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (9/30/2008 3:28:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SOS

Did you hear the one about the agnostic Dyslexic? Sat around all day wondering if there really was a dog?




Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He was awake all night wondering if there was a dog.

A Rabbi, a priest, two Italians and a blonde woman walk into a bar, all carrying monkeys. The bartender says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"

A knockout blonde goes into a bar just before last call,and orders a beer, and four shots of tequila. She pounds back the shots cahses them with the beer, and slowly slides off her barstool. The bartender and the sole remaining customer go to hoist her into a cab, but as they view her lying in a heap, her tiny black dress scrunched around her middle revealing flawless natural breasts and professionally groomed vulva, they exchange an uncomfortable look in silence, flop her over the pool table, exhaust themselves, and then hail the cab.

The two guys are there the next night, when the same woman walks in about an hour before closing. They sweat profusely, but she nonchalantly orders a beer and four shots of tequila. Once again, she instantly drains the glasses, and loses conciousness. The bartender relates the events of the previous night to the half-dozen or so patrons in attendance, and hey immediately fold her over the pool table.

The following night, when the woman arrives, the bar is shoulder-to-shoulder with leering men, the word having apparently spread. She easily penetrated the crowd to the bar, and all conversation stopped breathlessly as she ordered... a club soda. An outraged groan filled the bar. The bartender cautiously asked, "I thought you liked tequila?" She responded, "oh, I do, but it makes my pussy hurt."




Kat713 -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (9/30/2008 3:31:37 PM)

I love the last one, lol!




LexiTempest -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (9/30/2008 8:35:34 PM)

#1
A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the guy: "Mate, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."
The guy replies "Yeah I know. Its driving me nuts!"

#2
  A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"

The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.

"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"

The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."

[8D]




Musicmystery -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (9/30/2008 9:28:12 PM)

A bear walks into a bar.

"Hi! What'll ya have?" asks the bartender.

The bear thinks. "Um..........." and thinks....and thinks.....and thinks......

"Hey buddy!" asks the bartender--"Why the big 'pause'?"

[think for a minute--you'll get it....]




HandSolo -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (9/30/2008 9:57:52 PM)

A guy walks into a bar, with his scrotum hanging out of his fly. The doorman yells, "get out of here, we don't serve the insane around these parts!" The man replies "what makes you think I'm insane?" The doorman says "I can plainly see your nuts."




PrincePlatypus -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (10/1/2008 8:56:45 AM)

A man, a dog, and a cat, all walk ino a bar. The man takes a stool, the cat takes a stool, and the dog sits in the cat's lap. The man orders a beer, the cat orders a tequila, and the dog orders a vodka. The bartender looks at the man and says, "Did your cat and dog just talk!?" The man replies, "Don't be stupid. Dogs can't talk, that cat's a ventriloquist."




sirsholly -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (10/1/2008 8:58:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

A bear walks into a bar.

"Hi! What'll ya have?" asks the bartender.

The bear thinks. "Um..........." and thinks....and thinks.....and thinks......

"Hey buddy!" asks the bartender--"Why the big 'pause'?"

[think for a minute--you'll get it....]


i don't get it[>:]




MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (10/1/2008 8:26:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

A bear walks into a bar.

"Hi! What'll ya have?" asks the bartender.

The bear thinks. "Um..........." and thinks....and thinks.....and thinks......

"Hey buddy!" asks the bartender--"Why the big 'pause'?"

[think for a minute--you'll get it....]


i don't get it[>:]



HAHA! I didn't either at first... I just read over the "bear" part... lol So I read it again... and Got it




MadAxeman -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (10/1/2008 9:26:02 PM)

Pause = Paws




SailingBum -> RE: These two guys walk into a bar... (10/1/2008 10:03:13 PM)

groan




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