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pollux -> RE: Style vs. Substance: Can you be seduced? (12/4/2005 7:54:23 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aakasha
This is mostly aimed at sub men.
When you look at profiles, forum posts or emails that you receive, do you find yourself more eager to respond to the femdoms that present themselves as outwardly sexual, tantalizing, dominant, seductive -- vs. those that are more straight forward, down to earth and "vanilla."?
I definitely prefer the more down to earth approach. If my brief experience here has taught me anything, it's that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
As far as profiles go, the vast (VAST) majority of profiles for female dominants tend to de-emphasize the kinky play aspect in favor of domestic service, so one that was overly seductive/tantalizing/sexual would make me very suspicious.
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If you had three emails in your inbox from potential femdoms, and one addressed you as a "potential slave" and described in detail what kinds of sensual and sexual acts you would perform, the second was just "you sound like a nice piece of slavemeat. Email me promptly and I'll decide if your worth my time as a slut" and the third was very simple, plain, vanilla....not really kinky at all.....how would you respond to each, and in what order of priority?
The last one you described would intrigue me the most. For me, simple does not equal plain does not equal vanilla. Simple or plain or vanilla in an initial email tends to imply (for me), "genuine", "human", and "reasonable".
The second one I'd ignore. I've actually gotten one like that, almost exactly, word for word.
The first I might follow up out of curiousity, but I would be extremely suspicious and wouldn't put very much stock in it, to be honest.
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Which of these instant messages (from a total stranger) would make you jump to react, and why:
a) "I bet you'd look great on your knees in front of me. Have you ever sucked a strap on cock? I'm wearing one right now, and would love to hear how you'd wrap you lips around it if you were my slut. I'm in the mood -- you up for it?"
Out of the blue? From a stranger? Forget it. Suck it yourself, bebe.
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b) "Hi, my name is Eleanor. I read your profile and you seem nice. Do you want to chat and get to know each other?"
This has a lot more potential, to me.
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As a femdom, I know the fastest way to get a submissive "interested" and at attention is to arouse his sexuality and appeal to his submissive side. But I also know how annoying it is as a femdom to get presumptous emails/messages from subs "in role". So it would be mighty hypocritical for me to objectify a man *out of the gate* in email or IM, right? Even though I know he'd *like* it?
I think it's a stretch to make that generalization. Some (maybe most) would like it, but some (at least the ones commenting in this thread) would be offended.
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A femdom who wrote in these forums in a very slanted....femdomish, slightly cocky, slightly nasty, extremely seductive and flirtacious way....would probably get many of the male subs swooning. Yet the "real" femdoms would roll their eyes and go 'yeah, whatever. I can see right through that.' If a male dom did it, he'd get flamed. The "nasty, seductive, demanding" femdom in the forums would become a hero of the subs reading.
Is there a double standard here?
Of course. But what's lacking in your question is any sense of what the Domme initiating the contact is actually looking for. If she's just looking for a play partner, something where both parties just want to get each other's rocks off, an outwardly dominant/tantalizing approach would probably work great. If the Domme wants more than that, I think she needs to be a little more circumspect and approach things from the human angle first. We hear this from Dommes all the time. Why should it be any different for subs?
But that's just me. What have you found Akasha? What's your experience been? Would you advise a Domme to court a potential partner by IM'ing him out of the blue with a hot line about what a great strap-on-sucking whore he'd make?
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