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KonDomme -> Chinese Torture!!! (9/27/2008 2:19:24 PM)
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Chinese Torture!!!
Once there was a man that had survived a terrible plane crash and was lost in a forest. He had no idea where he was or which way to go.
He wandered for days and survived on berries and twigs. He was too slow to catch any kind of animal and couldn't even start a fire. He should have joined the boy scouts when he was young.
After two weeks of wandering he found a thin, but three story house with smoke coming out of the chimney. Without hesitation he knocked on the door. A little man answered the door. He had a long white beard that hung almost to the floor.
"Please sir, I need some food and shelter" said the young man.
"This I will give you but you must promise not to fool with my lovely daughter" the old man said.
"Thank you and I wouldn't think of messing with your daughter"
"If you do" said the old man, "I will inflict the three most gruesome Chinese torture tests that has ever been devised"
The man, too weak, agreed, not thinking that any woman could arouse him in his weak state.
After a shower and some sleep the man came down to eat. A grand dinner was set up and the man sat to eat. The old man's daughter entered the room and to the great surprise of the young man, she was most beautiful. So beautiful that the man could hardly tear his eyes away from her during the meal.
Later that night the man crept into the girl's room to take one last look at her for he had promised to leave early the next morning with a map the old man gave him.
When he opened the door he saw that the girl was awake and to his surprise she ushered him in. Well, being stuck in a forest with just your father doesn't suppress all urges, so one thing lead to another. They were as quiet as possible not to wake the old man.
After a few hours (OH WOW) the man crept to his room thinking that any torture would be worth what he had just done. He fell asleep thinking of her.
Early in the morning he got up and felt an enormous pain on his chest. It was a rock with a sign on it that said: 1st Chinese torture, 100 pound rock on chest!
Well, this wasn't exactly what the man thought would rate as torture and threw the rock out the window.
As he did this he saw a second sign just outside the window that said: 2nd Chinese torture, Left testicle tied to 100 pound rock! The man jumped out of the window without hesitation knowing a 3 story drop would be far better than what was in store for him.
As he fell to the ground he saw a large sign on the ground. It said: 3rd Chinese torture, right testicle tied to bed post!
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