RE: BDSM and Disability

RE: BDSM and Disability (Full Version)

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watchersgirl -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/3/2005 2:57:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML i am sorry about the MS. i have o.c.d./p.t.s.d. --paranoid personality disorder with persecution complex... i have..some....meds...but it only addresses my temper...not my issues...so far the v.a. has not helped me. not even therapy. and i have a 2 year waiting list here in wisconsin. happy holidays to ya Happy holidays to you too. I'm sorry you haven't been able to get enough help--how frustrating. I have depression and anxiety myself, but the meds help a little. The main thing is that I'm lucky to have a great therapist, and I can vent about MS all I want. MS sucks, but I know I could have it much worse than I do.

watchersgirl -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/3/2005 3:10:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: truesub4u I had back surgery in Dec 2000 and they had to remove part of my spin. Took out the L3 L4 L5 and vertebrates. I went from almost 5'8 to a 5'6, and I miss my highth more than I thought I would..Specially when someone asks me to get something off top self for them at a store. I had to have this surgery, to keep from the nerve in my spine being cut in half by the vertebrates that were grinding together. I still have major troubles standing for more than 10 mins. I feel I will just die if not allowed to sit. Sitting for more than 20 mins at a time is also not good, because i either need to stand or lay down. And i do have to take narcotic pain meds on a daily basis to function. I wish you the best also and not let this stop you from being and doing what you desire to. Thanks! BTW, and I don't mean to be presumptuous, but have you considered acupuncture for your back pain? In some conditions, it really works miracles. It doesn't mean you won't need meds, but it might be able to help you sit longer. From persona experience, I can say it really makes a difference.

watchersgirl -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/3/2005 3:25:42 AM)
I want to thank everybody for their kind and encouraging answers to my question. When I hear people criticize folks who are kinky, one thing I like to point out is that I've seen so much acceptance of "difference" w/in the BDSM community--acceptance of people regardless of size, color, kinks, and in this case disabilities. Not to say, there aren't jerks (aren't there everywhere?), but for the most part I see people just being accepted for who they are. I'm of the BBW variety myself, and I've had tops who were much leaner who simply told me that I provided them with more flesh to use and torment. [;)]

sunshine333 -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/3/2005 5:05:52 AM)
and let's not forget to look at the glass as half full. some disabilities can come in handy. for example ... jali, you are luckly to be able to mumble anything under your breath that you want. i know there have been times that i wished my Owner was deaf. ... grins ... mischievously, sunshine

ExistentialSteel -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/3/2005 11:15:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshine333 and let's not forget to look at the glass as half full. some disabilities can come in handy. for example ... jali, you are luckly to be able to mumble anything under your breath that you want. i know there have been times that i wished my Owner was deaf. ... grins ... mischievously, sunshine Now that was funny. Seriously, though, I knew a dom in a wheelchair from a chatroom I used to hang out in who was thought highly of by the subs in there who had met him. They said he gave them an experience of a lifetime. I think a disablity like that may have given him more insight and sensitivity to the sensations he was creating. Sex was not part of his scenes so he concentrated all the more on the other sensual and mental aspects.

MistressOfGa -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/3/2005 11:30:21 AM)
quote: This doesn't bother Master at all. I was very upfront with Him before we ever met. Good luck, and don't think that you will not be able to do any play with BDSM activities. The key here is to be totally honest and upfront about what you can and cant do. I can't stress this enough. It comes down to trust, as does most things regarding bdsm. I would be more disappointed if you didnt say something about it, and then I hurt you not meaning to, then if you had said something at all to begin with.

LadySonelle -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/3/2005 11:38:33 AM)
I'm amazed that nobody has posted the URL of the BDSM site devoted to disabled practitioners! Go to http://www.kinked.org to see it! Also, I am legally blind, have had back surgery and am a BBW Myself. I love working with disabled slaves and subs as well as TABs (temporarily Able Bodied, for those of you not in the disability community). and I tailor My requirements appropriately. Wheelchair users (who aren't 'confined' or 'bound' BTW! That chair gives them mobility, not restriction) may use the "Egyptian Obeisance" or "Roman Ave" instead of the conventional kneel. The E.O. is done by stretching forth both hands, at slightly lower than nipple level, palms downward, parallel to their knees. If physically possible, the head is bent gently forward. The R.A. is done with one hand first touching the opposite shoulder, fist closed, then extended forward at shoulder height (no higher) hand open, palm downward, parallel to their knees. In both cases, after the salute, the hands (or hand) if laid is laid along the leg, palm-to-knee and held there as if the slave were kneeling. In the case where the slave has no body mobility (haven't played with one yet, but I plan!) the verbal phrase "I kneel and submit to you My Lady" would be sufficient. I have the Manual Alphabet and some Ameslan down, so a deaf slave would not present a problem. To enforce submissive headspace, I use the same hand signals that are used on herding collies. Directional and action commands are simple limited to one or two hand gestures. I do require My slaves (wneh we are in public) to walk ahead of Me and slightly to one side, and to warn Me of steps, drop-offs and overhead obstacles, just as a trained guide dog will. I even have a delightful clip-on tag that goes on a collar or shirt pocket. It is a blue plastic rectangle with a white wheelchair logo on it. The difference is that the occupant of the chair has a canine head and a tail in silhouette and the legend reads "ASSISTANCE DOG. It's a wonderful tag to make a slave wear in public! I may make a scan of it for My website! Lady Sonelle

truesub4u -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/3/2005 4:07:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: watchersgirl Thanks! BTW, and I don't mean to be presumptuous, but have you considered acupuncture for your back pain? In some conditions, it really works miracles. It doesn't mean you won't need meds, but it might be able to help you sit longer. From persona experience, I can say it really makes a difference. I thank you, but Acupuncture has been rules out by my doctors. Seems until the surgery was performed, we were unaware that I had Neuropothy. Chiropratic and acupuncture has now been ruled out. But thank you anyways. Jessica

theRose4U -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/4/2005 10:09:00 AM)
quote: The only 'handicap' that would bother me is attitude. Everything else can be worked around and dealt with by intelligent consenting adults. Besides it's what's inside that really counts anyway Well said, sometimes it's the handicaps between our ears that can be the greatest hinderance.

theRose4U -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/4/2005 10:18:32 AM)
quote: Happy holidays to you too. I'm sorry you haven't been able to get enough help--how frustrating. I have depression and anxiety myself, but the meds help a little. The main thing is that I'm lucky to have a great therapist, and I can vent about MS all I want. MS sucks, but I know I could have it much worse than I do. Just an FYI, here in Colorado there is a program called the National Sports Center for the Disabled in Winter Park. I have had MANY friends that I met through there that had MS, para & quadraplegia as well as blindness and were actually instructors/guides for horseback riding, skiing, rafting, etc. In the words of one of my old friends from there, "ve have ways of making you valk" (in best vampire voice). He would usually tell this to the younger kids while taking them up the chairlift. Anyway contact me if you can't find their website. Please return to your normally scheduled chat [8D]

Wolf1020 -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/4/2005 10:42:18 AM)
Personally I have two, none extremely serious but enough to limit some of the things I do. First is mental. My family has a history of bi-polar disorder, I'm not a loon but enough where I get my highs and my lows. Also a bit of a temper, my family is just prone to it. Not serious enough where I need medication, other then a brief stint when I was first diagnosed at 15. So it's nothing that isn't manageable but I still get some highs and lows. The temper I manage well also, I yell a bit on occasion but beyond that it stays in check better then anyone in my family. Also I had a few symptoms of ADD but not enough to actual be diagnosed with it. Second are physical. I'm not confined to a wheel chair but standing a long time or walking long distances are hard for me because I have bad knees. I can get by easier with med's but I'm stubborn, also have a weak shoulder. I don't have it currently (least not that has been found) but odds are because of family history I will end up with Multiple Hereditary Exostoses or MHE. Basically it causes bone growths and depending where/how they grow can cause no problems or serious problems.

IronBear -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/4/2005 5:06:47 PM)
I'm a thinking that we need to put together a Lifestyle Team to have some serious discussions with the original Human Body Design Team about all of these things..

MistressLisa1 -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/8/2005 2:21:41 AM)
I am a lesbian dominant who uses a wheelchair for mobility. I have been in the chair now for 15 years as a result of a drunk driver. I dont share this in my profile as I felt it was better on a security level to not have anyone who could be considered a predator to make me a target. It is meant to be smart and not paranoia. I also want them to get to know "ME" first and this help in assisting them with their questions and not just discounting me by saying, "Oh, she is a top in a w/c and how can she possibly be efficient in the D/s role." Yes, it is possible to be effective and yes, I can do anything I set my mind to do and have successfully. Education is the key here and unfortunately it falls on me to do this...always. However, if this is what it takes then it will be my burden to bear. I approaching being a domme/mistress seriously by educating myself proficiently to caring out my role in the D/s relationship. I address what the sub/slaves desires are in an interview to see if they are in line with mine and then continue on with the interview and allow them to interview me. If the exchange is good and they like me then I share with them about my disability and more have stayed then left. I have lost some but that is due to incompatibility and only a portion seem to be disability related. I also allow them to inquire about my disability and so much more. It is a very complicated topic but you can find happiness however the main component here is patience. BTW...allowing them to ask me questions about my disability, puts them at ease often and this is not something you can do when somebody just glances at your profile. At least this way I feel like I get a fair shake and a chance to educate as well as turn somebodies thinking around that would not have other wise bother. It works for me, it might work for you and only some components of this might work for you. I am still searching for the most constructive way to make sure things are considered on both sides of the D/s issues. best regards MistressLisa

MasterBenedict -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/17/2005 12:37:56 AM)
I wholeheartedly agree with THAT sentiment!

invisibledream -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/17/2005 7:35:00 AM)
i'm so glad you asked this. i have MS too...so it's been a concern of mine to 1)find a guy willing to put up with it (even though it's not too bad right now) and 2)find a Dominant who is wiilling to work with it

nephandi -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/17/2005 7:48:19 AM)
i am a female submissive on the road to slavery, i have Aspergers Syndrome, a syndrome in the Autisem specter and i suffer from angiety. i am unable to do a few things others can do, for example my Master can not send me alone to the other side of town to pick somthing up for him, becouse i can not find my way alone unless i know the place, he can not make suddern changes becouse that make me nervous, and he need to either stay at home whit me or find somone to babysit me to leve the house at night becose of my angsiety and so on, this ofcourse put a burden on him, i should be there to make his life more easy, but often i make it harder, but he is werry kind and put up whit it and say he would ahve it no other way for he love me. But i think that i as many subs and slaves whit disabileties can feel a bit inferior and can see the problems it creates in any realtionship and especialy a D/s one.

windy135 -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/17/2005 7:55:30 AM)
Slavejali, Have you seen an audiologist? Does your husband wear hearing aids? There are other devices that could possiblely help him with his hearing. Sounds like he has a typical hearing loss in the high frequencies and even the middle which probably means he has profound/severe hearing loss. Its sad the way our hear works because high frequencies are usually the ones affected first and the most. In our speech the power of our words are in the low frequencies but the message is percieved through the high. I'm glad to see he is good a speech reading that always helps.

theRose4U -> RE: BDSM and Disability (12/17/2005 1:05:51 PM)
quote: i am a female submissive on the road to slavery, i have Aspergers Syndrome, a syndrome in the Autisem specter and i suffer from angiety. i am unable to do a few things others can do, for example my Master can not send me alone to the other side of town to pick somthing up for him, becouse i can not find my way alone unless i know the place, he can not make suddern changes becouse that make me nervous, and he need to either stay at home whit me or find somone to babysit me to leve the house at night becose of my angsiety and so on, this ofcourse put a burden on him, i should be there to make his life more easy, but often i make it harder, but he is werry kind and put up whit it and say he would ahve it no other way for he love me. But i think that i as many subs and slaves whit disabileties can feel a bit inferior and can see the problems it creates in any realtionship and especialy a D/s one. Just a thought for what it's worth. It seems from what I have learned that a Daddy Dom (with or without the age play thing) may be a way to work around some of your issues.

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