RE: Submissive on a First Date?

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RE: Submissive on a First Date? - 9/29/2008 8:50:17 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

How on earth could you inject "discipline" into a first conversation? That must be one hell of a conversation.

Cali

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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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Post #: 21

RE: Submissive on a First Date? - 9/29/2008 9:35:04 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Well if you are contacted on this site they are either sub/slave, Dom/me or switch so they should not have to act a certain way. Just because i was born submissive i do not act submissive on a first meet with someone. Master knew i was a sub but we talked as vanilla the first meet then 2nd a we got into more detail as a Dom, sub 3 meet was even more in detail and by the 4th i was ready to scene and submit to him. So i did not act submissive the firsr meet, Master was even a little annoyed i got my coffee and did not wait for him to buy it for me. So on a first meet i do not act submissive.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to CalifChick)

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Post #: 22

RE: Submissive on a First Date? - 9/29/2008 10:00:27 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

I know it's boring, but - there are no rules. We all make this up as we go along, with the possible exception of the Goreans, who lack the imagination to make it up. Depends totally and entirely on the people.

(in reply to TabrisMaceth)

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Post #: 23

RE: Submissive on a First Date? - 9/29/2008 12:34:07 PM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Aww...now leave the Gorean folk out of it. No need to slam them. What they do may not be your thing, but they do it with aplomb and plenty of imagination from what I have seen and they appear to be quiet and respectful of others.

If I was a girl, I would -so- be lining up to be a Gorean slave.../nods.

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Post #: 24

RE: Submissive on a First Date? - 9/29/2008 10:17:09 PM

lowercaste

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I don't feel or act submissive based on a profile or a two minute chat. I feel submissive in response to the dominance he exudes. I act submissively when I've learned enough about him to decide that it would be safe to submit to him.

I agree with this. I have wondered about this a lot lately. It seems very forward for a submissive to make first contact with a dominant. However, I think on line it is neccessary, you cannot actively look for someone in a passive manner. I can't be submissive to someone who I have never spoken with and who is not physically present.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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Post #: 25

RE: Submissive on a First Date? - 9/30/2008 1:11:08 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

...I'm asking if other people ever get all subby or slavey when they first talk to a person! Logically, they don't, but I was just wondering if anyone went against convension logic...

yes...some do.

some find an incredibly excrutiating amount of discomfort to the point of physical/emotional distress when forcing themselves to "act" dominant...even over their own lives, or in casual interactions with everyday folk.

there are others who have been trained, intensively, to respond in a submissive manner, in all their interactions and it has become their nature to respond that way.

some find they are blessed/cursed with both.

this slave has found that neither goes over well with most folks, vanilla or otherwise. most folks refer to that sort of submissive response in negative terms or contextualize the positive connotation by referring to it as something they only do when certain conditions are met.

(in reply to TabrisMaceth)

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Post #: 26

RE: Submissive on a First Date? - 9/30/2008 5:54:19 PM

sistermargaret

Posts: 101
Joined: 8/8/2008
Status: offline

or he may interpret that to mean that in your head, you're already his submissive.

That was the one thing that irritated me the most when i was Switch. That most subbies, not all, but most that came along tried to "submit" to me on the first meeting. It always felt like they were laying an automatic claim to me, they needed to submit and nothing, including ME, was gonna stand in their way to fulfill that need. Like i had no say in the matter.
My nick has never had capital letters ... never ... yet there are always those few who insist on writing to Sister Margaret Ma'am. Blech! Delete, ignore.
sm

All it takes is absoute surrender

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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Post #: 27

RE: Submissive on a First Date? - 9/30/2008 6:06:15 PM

kiwisub12