How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message


AAkasha -> How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/29/2008 3:56:24 PM)


I'm curious how much femdom porn subs viewed who are currently in a successful femdom relationship.  I'm wondering if there is a correlation between the amount/type of porn they consumed and how much as it relates to their perception of 'real world' femdom and how well they integrated into a relationship.

Akasha




sfdrew -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/29/2008 4:47:02 PM)

An honest estimate of how much I've viewed is somewhere in the ballpark of..... all of it... give or take a few hours. There is something I think that should be addressed from the beginning, which is that I had these desires and feelings from an early age way before I had access to any kind of porn. I remember watching the movie payback when I was a teenager in the theater and there was a scene with a dominatrix in it. Before that I had been having dreams about foot worship with one of the girls from my school and I had had all these submissive feelings. When I saw that scene, something clicked with me, and I didn't feel like such a freak anymore. Until that point I had never heard any of the proper language used in the scene and had no idea people even had these thoughts, so being able to look up the word 'dominatrix' online gave me a window into that world.

After that, and for the next ten years I watched, read, and even wrote about just about every fetishy, kinky, disgusting, foul, or sexy thing you can image. Anything I haven't heard of or seen won't surprise me at this point. But through it all, the one point remained that these desires were in me all along, and I couldn't stand what I considered 'fake' porn, which seemed as though it were just acting and not real. But how could I have gotten that idea just by watching the porn? The porn all came from somebody's demented mind.

I think that porn can help reenforce a warped idea about what is realistic and what is not, but I also think those ideas were there to begin with.  I'm in a happy and loving relationship now which is different than the ideal I grew up with in my mind, but I don't think that ideal is wrong just because it isn't real either. I still enjoy going to that place and it is the standard that real play is based on.




slavekal -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/29/2008 5:07:38 PM)

I have watched LOTS.  Now, milady, Ms. Mlicious is the star of my favorite femdom porn videos.  She's so good on tape, she's made 70% of my stash obsolete.




Shawn1066 -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/29/2008 5:39:42 PM)

How much FemDom porn did I view?

Zero.

How much FemDom erotica did I read?

A decent amount.

I also read a great deal of non-erotic stuff as well.  Just people talking about the lifestyle from a realistic point of view.  I was able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality rather early on in my life.  After all, these were thoughts I'd played with long before my family ever had the internet.

My submissive desires far, far predate my access to erotica.

DV's Fox




aidan -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/29/2008 8:25:07 PM)

I watch a little porn nowadays. Not nearly as much as I used to, though. I've always had an incredibly strong sexual libido and could easily masturbate a few times day. Now nearly all that gets channeled into playtime with Mistress.

I can't even say porn isn't fun anymore, because it wasn't much fun in the first place. I put most masturbation in the same category as, say, taking a shower or using the toilet. It was just a basic maintenance thing, necessary for living. I jerked off to keep stress levels down and work off sexual energy that had no other healthy outlet.

Since there's a healthy outlet now, the times I need to masturbate, and therefore need porn, are very rare.




JerryFrankster -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/29/2008 8:42:50 PM)

No need. I have my own internal porn generator.




undergroundsea -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/29/2008 9:43:48 PM)

I have watched plenty of porn and it has not skewed my perspective about relationships. I think what matters is breadth of experience--whether one's perspective is based only on porn, or whether other experiences or exposure broaden the perspective to allow one to see porn for arousal and fantasy and not for a relationship model.

After all, there is vanilla porn but vanilla men who are pizza boys and plumbers know that usually sex does not await them when they knock on a door.

Cheers,

Sea




fivexfivego -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/30/2008 1:15:03 AM)

I live in the porn world, but i am starting to explore real time.  I have been developing a relationship with a rather unique Domme over the past few days.  She is accessible and wicked smart - which is key and today we just talked about what types of porn I watch.   This is after two years of searching the Internet and wading through quite a number of angry women who pose as Dommes, shallow and stupid prostitutes who like the "financial servitude" angle, and most typical, Dommes who just want to retire and live with their partner and pickup the career they really loved.  My Dominatrix (i am so possessive) loves the scene as much as her clients love the scene, because it is more then a mis-en-scene, it is an adventure.  It is about before, during and after the session - she is really the person I believe I've been looking for since I was ten years old.

She is very knowledgeable and we both discussed the need to explore.  She explained that there will be some scenes which should be left to fantasy and some which will be better in real life - but we have to try them to know.  It depends on the individual and the scene, I guess.  She is also available, if I wish, out of session for vanilla stuff - this is unique and incredible.  Don't get me wrong, it goes into the tribute, but I don't have thousands of dollars to throw around - it is coming from a person who enjoys her subs for who they are - and there is a screening process.

For me, intelligence, empathy and confidence are, above all else, the most important traits in my future owner or Mistress.  I understand why some profiles shout how happy they are - "I found my sub/Domme" and maybe some are written with more or less tact then others, but I get it now.  I feel like a kid again.  I found a Domme I trust - she knows more about me then my wife of eight years - and I tried for years.  I know I sound trite, but I have craved with every fiber of my body, a Domme who knows me more then I know myself.  Porn kept me sane - I don't know what I would do without it, but porn can distort reality as well - just be aware of it. 

My few real time encounters were great in the setup, in the antiscipation and, for most, the actual session.  But after ALL of them, I wanted to bolt - just as I did with one night stands.  For me, it is after the physical urge is fufilled, there is nothing if I don't know the person - if I don't like the person or know nothing about them, if it was completely physical, then after my happy ending, I am left feeling empty and ashamed - I want to get as far away as possible.  When I have waited and developed a relationship, a climax is just the beginning and after the moment of truth is where intimacy comes in - this little notch in time is where we men are the most honest.  Porn does not provide intimacy, but it is fun.  It can lead to finding your perfect Mistress or it can be a waste of time.  Enjoy the ride.




thishereboi -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/30/2008 4:14:10 AM)

My ex brought home a video once to watch. It was one of the silliest things I had ever seen and we both laughed through it. Other than that, I didn't watch any.




sillyslaveboy -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/30/2008 4:16:36 AM)

Back in the time of the first relationship i didn't have internet at all. So, no porn. In the time of the second one i didn't have that much access to the internet, except for e-mails, and i had pretty busy schedule so i didn't watch it then either. :) Today i am not in relationship so it will remain a no-tell thing. ;)




rubberpet -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/30/2008 4:34:20 AM)

With Mistress back in West Virginia to persue her nursing degree, I tend to watch my fair share of femdom porn.  I may be a subby and a collared slave, but I'm still a man, dammit! [:D]
 
Seriously, when Mistress stayed with me for six weeks this summer, the only times I watched any was when she was watching, too.  She's very visual, plus she admits to watching femdom porn for new ideas and ways to torture me...lol.  We obviously prefer femdom porn with rubber fetishism as the main focal point because we like tight and shiny things with our D/s! [:D]
 
However, viewing femdom porn has not distorted my view in any way in regards to our Mistress/slave relationship because I realize most of the stuff in movies is virtually impossible to attain/maintain.  Mistress is quite the deviant one, so playtime was and will always be interesting...you know how everyday life tends to screw most playtime plans up, though.  LOL  She is still learning how much suffering I can take and how far she can really push the envelope, but I have no complaints with where we are as a Mistress/slave couple.  There is always some sort or D/s influx to our life...generally it's either Mistress wearing some sort of fetishy clothing or me wearing something fetishy per her commands to go with our personal brand of Mistress/slave protocol.  My subby side is pretty prevalent when I'm around her, so everything is fun! [:)]




westpet -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/30/2008 4:37:43 AM)

Before being Collared by MsStarlett i would say i watched too much FemDom porn, now theres not even any on my computer/laptop. I don't think it skewed my view of an actual relationship, it was pretty obvious to me that it is fake, though still pretty hot.




Dnomyar -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/30/2008 5:40:32 AM)

I did the porn thing when I was a kid. I have no interest in it now. It has never been brought up with my lifestyle friends. I do know people who have large collections of it but they are in their own little world.




sfdrew -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (9/30/2008 6:05:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

I watch a little porn nowadays. Not nearly as much as I used to, though. I've always had an incredibly strong sexual libido and could easily masturbate a few times day. Now nearly all that gets channeled into playtime with Mistress.

I can't even say porn isn't fun anymore, because it wasn't much fun in the first place. I put most masturbation in the same category as, say, taking a shower or using the toilet. It was just a basic maintenance thing, necessary for living. I jerked off to keep stress levels down and work off sexual energy that had no other healthy outlet.

Since there's a healthy outlet now, the times I need to masturbate, and therefore need porn, are very rare.



This is something that I forgot to mention in my post but probably rings true for most guys who used to watch porn. I don't watch porn anymore now that I'm in a relationship, and as you have pointed out, it was really just the only available outlet. I've actually been in a few movies at this point so the reality of filming is more clear to me now.




crxmale -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (10/3/2008 8:30:54 PM)

I love to see good Femdom porn.  I've seen some pretty good pics but not many good clips.  Most of the clips seem to be staged by those that are neither true Dommes and guys that are not real subs.  I do love to read erotica but I really prefer stories written by Females.  I'd love to see more Femdom based pron.




PeonForHer -> RE: How much femdom porn did your submissive view? (10/4/2008 5:13:56 AM)

I'm not sure that the amount or type of femdom porn a sub has watched would make much of a difference, Akasha.  A sub - like anyone, I suppose - will have fantasised hugely and for many years before even seeing any porn (of any kind, let alone the femdom kind).  Myself, I used to use vanilla porn - and soft porn at that: just naked women in provocative poses.  I, versus vanilla readers of such mags/websites, just fantasised about the models forcing or demanding rather than "inviting".  I'd project quite a different look onto their faces . . .

The key thing is to be able to distinguish between fantasy and reality, of course.  In other contexts, it seems that the evidence is going against the idea that one "learns" certain kinds of behaviour from fantasy depictions.  In a study I heard of recently there was found to be no correlation between use of violent video games by adults and any violent feelings in real life.  However, crucially, there was more of a correlation in children.  In short - a Domme needs to find a grown-up man and not a kid in order to get what she wants, I'd say!




Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
3.515625E-02