Things to Ponder...

Things to Ponder... (Full Version)

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MistresseLotus -> Things to Ponder... (9/29/2008 7:13:52 PM)
1. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? 2. Whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word Lisp ? 3. If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide is it considered a hostage situation? 4. If a man with no arms has a gun, is he armed? 5. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 6. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 7. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 8. Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? 9. Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"? 10. Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? 11. What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?! 12. Do they use sterilised needles for lethal injections? 13. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 14. What WAS the best thing BEFORE sliced bread? 15. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? 16. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"? 17. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Darkcast -> RE: Things to Ponder... (9/29/2008 8:46:15 PM)
18. Spell Therapist. T-H-E-R-A-P-I-S-T. The Rapist. coincidence? I think not

MadAxeman -> RE: Things to Ponder... (9/29/2008 8:53:17 PM)
*Why is dickslegsia so hard to spell?*

rubberpet -> RE: Things to Ponder... (9/30/2008 4:02:23 AM)
Why are dirty words usually of the four-letter variety, yet the word dirty is five letters? Why do we park in a driveway, but drive on a parkway? Does an orange feel it's a victim of racism because it is simply referred to as a color? Were all the cool names for fruit taken...like kiwi? Does anyone really know how much wood a woodchuck could actually chuck when it chucked wood? If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cared, why is there a song about it? When the first dictionary, how did they know all the words were spelled correctly? Does God love stupid people? He must because he sure made a lot of those fuckers. Why is it that people with very high IQs usually have the common sense of a cheeseburger? Ever notice that (generally speaking, of course) white people usually go to therapy for their personal problems, but black people go to church? Maybe they're on to something... Ever hear about the creepy old lady that lives on the corner of your street? She's covered in moles. We don't know her name...we just call her Old Moley. A few years ago, she went to church, found Jesus, and was saved...now we call her Holy Moley. While going to church, she met this nice Mexican fella and recently got married...now we call her Holy Guacamole. Ever wonder why you're still reading this shit? And, as for the stars and wet paint question from the OP, the paint fumes make it irresistible not to touch! Me want touch it! [:D]

RubberLovers777 -> RE: Things to Ponder... (9/30/2008 3:05:15 PM)
paint chips make me thirsty[:)]

Saratov -> RE: Things to Ponder... (9/30/2008 4:41:13 PM)
rubberpet Why is it that people with very high IQs usually have the common sense of a cheeseburger? Many tend to over think/analyse things, especially the 'simple' 'easy' things.

TabrisMaceth -> RE: Things to Ponder... (9/30/2008 5:17:25 PM)
Does anyone else think it's a little to coincidental that if you move a few letters around in "Santa", you get "Satan"? If all God's children are beautiful, then how do you explain ugly people? Why don't windmill mill wind? How is being a smart ass not better than being a dumbass? If something's brand-spanking-new, will it become well behaved when it gets old? Where does the term "gravy train" come from? Does anyone need so much gravy that they need an entire train to transport it? Also, who uses trains anymore? Wouldn't it be quicker to ship it by plane? -Tabris

UncleNasty -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/1/2008 8:11:54 PM)
"Strap on" spelled backwords is "no parts." Why isn't there a shorter word for "monosylabic?" How do they know permanent markers are permanent? Why does Frigidaire make stoves, and Hot Point make refridgerators? Uncle Nasty

MistresseLotus -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/1/2008 9:49:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UncleNasty "Strap on" spelled backwords is "no parts." I love that one!!!!

SailingBum -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/1/2008 10:08:35 PM)
some good ones

HypnoticDan -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/1/2008 11:13:57 PM)
must... resist... urge to... answer ridiculous... questions... Jimmy Crack Corn refers to drinking moonshine, and the full song in it's original is about a black slave stableboy who doesn't care for his master's horse, who then kills the master, thus freeing the slave. ARGH! Couldn't do it.

LexiTempest -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 1:48:37 AM)
quote: If all God's children are beautiful, then how do you explain ugly people? I think the better question is, if god's children are beautiful, and created in his image, then why does the bible claim that he hates little people as well as the disabled? "Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken..." (Lev.21:17-23 ) Ok, so it's not a joke, but something to think about! Now, for the silly questions: Why is the time when the traffic is slowest called rush-hour? How come psychics have jobs/hotlines instead of predicting winning lottery numbers? Why do you press harder on the remote buttons when you know the battery is dead? Is it still called a hearing when deaf person goes to court? If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to buy her friends?

MadAxeman -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 2:19:55 AM)
*If Dot Cotton from Eastenders married Slash from Guns n Roses...what would her web site address be called?*

persephonee -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 4:17:48 AM)
sobs in overdramatic way......i love you, man....

crystalbelle -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 10:58:00 AM)
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway? Live spelled backwards is Evil Why do men say they are going to take a shit, but leave one? (They also may say they don;t give a shit) Why do we have elections on leap year, because we all are taking a leap of faith?

rubberpet -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 11:11:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee sobs in overdramatic way......i love you, man.... Right back at ya, babe! [sm=runaway.gif] arms flailing wildly as I run like a spastic chicken

jesiul -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 4:06:15 PM)
If Kitty Wells married Conway Twitty.. would she be Kitty Twitty??

DesFIP -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 7:06:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rubberpet Does anyone really know how much wood a woodchuck could actually chuck when it chucked wood? http://www.getodd.com/stuf/stupid/woodchuck.html Answer to age old question here.

MistresseLotus -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 7:18:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HypnoticDan must... resist... urge to... answer ridiculous... questions... Jimmy Crack Corn refers to drinking moonshine, and the full song in it's original is about a black slave stableboy who doesn't care for his master's horse, who then kills the master, thus freeing the slave. ARGH! Couldn't do it. I just had to research it too :) Click Here

MistresseLotus -> RE: Things to Ponder... (10/2/2008 7:22:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LexiTempest quote: If all God's children are beautiful, then how do you explain ugly people? I think the better question is, if god's children are beautiful, and created in his image, then why does the bible claim that he hates little people as well as the disabled? "Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken..." (Lev.21:17-23 ) Sounds more like he didn't want anyone with severe acne to bother those who have trouble enough already [:D]

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