RE: What's your worst hook-up ever?

RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games

Message

cravesdom -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 2:12:52 PM)
After reading these stories, I am feeling very lucky. None of mine have ever been that bad.

scottishdove -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 2:14:57 PM)
Regardingn back hair: "Yeah, there are some things that I just can't help but wonder how women get past them; and in some cases, love or are turned on by them." there is something so incredibly masculine about dark body hair, especially in areas like the back... if you love the guy, you love the long dark body hair everywhere that it is.. alice

persephonee -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 2:17:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss ok, I was in Asia and had a hookup withthis sweet young fellow in his twenties. He got undressed and had yeast infection EVERYWHERE... rash, the smell, all that. Wanted to know why I wouldn't... you know. So in teacherly fashion I educated him about all the marks on his body, the scent-stench, and the itchies. oh god. Ohdeargod....seriously...what does this girl win....what what i say??

sunshinemiss -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 2:21:39 PM)
whatever it is... please no beer or bread

SteelofUtah -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 3:01:05 PM)
Okay here is a good one. I've told it before so don't stop me if you've heard this one I'm gunna tell it anyway. I was 22 and it seemed everyone that I was meeting was from the net. I got involved with this girl, lets call her Shyla, Shyla sent me lots of photos of her all in provocative attire and all of the same person, (here is a little trick try to get at least 4 pictures of a person where all 4 look like the same person chances are it is the same person as for determining how old the pictures are that is something I have yet to figure out without the use of a quality web cam) So we start talking, having a great time she informs me that she is 20 but she lives with her grandparents who are in need of someone to care for them so since they are sleeping she asks that I not call after 10 that she will call me. We talk for like 3 months and finally I decide to go and meet her. She agrees to me coming out, she even agrees to me picking her up at her home, she talks about all the naughty things she wants me to do to her. I drive from Vegas to San Diego I buy a rose and I get a hotel room and then I go to pick her up. I get out of my car I go to the door and I ring the doorbell. A Large not so elderly man answers the door and I say "Hello, I'm here to take "Shyla" out for the weekend." to which he looks at me and say "Fucking like hell you are", he then steps out and starts walking toward me, He starts yelling things at me like "Who the fuck are you, you fucking pervert" "How old are you you sick freak" and "Don't worry about going to Jail I'm gunna kill you where you stand. I got hit twice, nice Shiner, then finally while I am in a Head lock I convince him to listening to me by saying "Shyla" knows me she wanted me to come and pick her up, her phone number is *--***" It was then he stopped trying to rip my head off. I am a BIG boy so hopefully you can respect the fact that when I say this guy was a Big son-uva-bitch you can understand the reference. After 45 more minutes of her denying that she knew me only to have me state things that she told me over the 3 month period did her parents log onto the computer open up My Yahoo and read all the e-mails that she had sent me and the pictures. SO Guess what Folks the pictures YUP they were REAL and they were actually of HER however she was 15 and just really well developed, Also once the parents decided NOT to send me to prison I was informed that after all this she had done this before only that guy WAS arrested because they believed thier daughter and not him. Under Megans Law however he is still on the child offenders web site he just no longer needs to register as a sex offender. One simple lie almost ruined my life. That was my worst hook up ever. Steel

VivaciousSub -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 5:33:00 PM)
Oh, dear God, Steel - I am breathing a huge sigh of relief for you! And sunshine...we promise, nothing yeast-based. Ugh...just thinking about your story still makes me feel ill! [:'(] I say it's a tie between these two.

LexiTempest -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 6:02:04 PM)
You definitely win. I want to say that all rapists should get castrated, but then it's shit like that that reminds Me why it wouldn't be a good idea. I'm not calling you a rapist, in case that was unclear. That whole situation was entirely her fault. Damn slutty teenagers. To the OP: A few years ago I went on a date with this guy I met on a dating site, and by all accounts he seemed normal, and cute even. He took Me out to a nice dinner, and we went to a movie. When we went to leave, I was standing behind him and I put My hand on his shoulder and felt something prickly... Confused, I took My hand away and realized he had such MASSIVE back hair, that the hairs were poking out of his white shirt. I thought I was going to puke. Then, before driving Me home, he farted in the car, and I REALLY thought I was going to puke. And on the ride home he made a bunch of horribly sexist comments like "women shouldn't be cops! They're too weak!" To top it all off, he asked Me- after all that- if I'd be his girlfriend. [8\|] I think you can guess what My answer was. *Edited to add: The guys who try to "sneak in the back door" definitely qualify for castration! shudder* Just reading it made Me cringe!**

SmokingGun82 -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (9/30/2008 7:02:04 PM)
I'd contribute a few horror stories of my own, but I'm saving them for my upcoming book: Do You Think the Catholic Church is Racist? and 500 Other Things Not to Say During Sex The original title was You Taste Different Than My Brother... And yes, I'm seriously contemplating turning the scraps of paper/napkins/text messages to myself into a book... random hook-up people say some messed up things.

MadAxeman -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 5:30:40 AM)
*You have a habit of posting that you won't be posting. Hopefully your epic book will be less redundant.*

persephonee -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 5:36:01 AM)
i vote for the taste/brother thing for the title...that was a good'un.

persephonee -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 6:06:30 AM)
Hang on...i finally remembered one...i have had many but this one was in my mind the worst...keep in mind i am not in any way slamming those who are into watersports at all...those who know me know i dont have all that much of a problem with that anymore... i can not believe i forgot this one...mustve blocked it out like the pain of childbirth. i had just been dumped by my then "wife" of 7 yrs and was trying valiantly to pretend that it was just another breakup and move on. So i met this girl off some dating site. We hit it off quite well and made plans to move things into the boudoire. We went to dinner and then back to her house...things started heating up and i was down south doing some scouting for future reference...trying this and that, measuring responses...i finally hit on something she really liked and kept doing it. She starts bucking and i had to literally pin her hips down so i could continue. i did so by taking my forearm and placing it directly across her pelvis-hipbone to hipbone, horizontally...applying gentle but steady pressure...just kinda holding her down. i continued on with what i was doing and she continued to make happy puppy noises and everything was going swimmingly....until.... Suddenly, my mouth was filled with something...not quite right...and a lot of it. i paused to determine what this might be and once i figured out that it was urine...i was shellshocked.... Not wanting to offend, i tipped my head to the side and let the...stuff out of my mouth. But i just couldnt continue on my merry way. i decided that i was prolly going to be sick, so i got up suddenly and went to the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom i figured that i couldnt make any loud wretching sounds as the bath and bedrooms were sharing a wall...i still didnt want to offend her as i had no idea why she would have done that on purpose so it must have been an accident...seriously....kinky or not....who goes around non-consensually pissing in the new girls mouth?? It had to be an accident. Meanwhile, back at the ranch i still felt like i was going to hurl... i came back in and started getting dressed, siting that i had completely forgotten that i needed to pick up my anklebiter from the sitters by midnite and that i just had to go...so sorry...blahblahblah....i escaped and called my bestest friend who always kept his bar stocked and made arrangements to come over stat.... "Jonathan...do you have vodka?....good...do you have a spare toothbrush?...awesome...do you have antibacterial soap??....super duper....No i cant tell you why...just get that all together for me and ill be there shortly...." i had every intention of never telling him any of what had just happened. i was like 34 at the time and there is no excuse for not knowing that this could have been something done intentionally...what can i say, im sheltered. After 2 drinks and multiple cleansings...i did relent to telling him what had happened and he decided that he should edumicate me on certain aspects of watersports but he also stated firmly that its consensual and that my particular case was definitly not done right...if indeed that was her intent. i just listened and drank and once in a while out of the blue i would shudder and go brush my teeth again. It was a long nite. Next day, she called a few times and finally emailed me to apologise for not asking for my permission before she did that...i had planned to simply not respond until i got that email. Then i flipped the holyhell out and called her and blasted her....turns out, it wasnt me putting pressure on her bladder...it was her idea of a good first date. i call her the Urinator....and i hope i never see her again. shudder When i have a bad date or bad day at work, Jonathan usually says...well, how does it rate...better or worse than the Urinator...so far, she beats all the bad dates and bad days ive had since...which i should be grateful for. Just in case this story somehow impedes my search for the *ONE, i would like to state for the record that this happened like 6 years ago and i believe i got myself sterilized by now...shudders again* eyes lowered perse

MadAxeman -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 6:25:26 AM)
*As we say in the good ole U of K, 'that is taking the piss'..meaning a liberty.*

persephonee -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 6:55:57 AM)
ohgod...theres a term for that??....ohhhhh...shhhhuuuddddeeeerrrrr

Darkcast -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 8:01:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee Hang on...i finally remembered one...i have had many but this one was in my mind the worst...keep in mind i am not in any way slamming those who are into watersports at all...those who know me know i dont have all that much of a problem with that anymore... i can not believe i forgot this one...mustve blocked it out like the pain of childbirth. i had just been dumped by my then "wife" of 7 yrs and was trying valiantly to pretend that it was just another breakup and move on. So i met this girl off some dating site. We hit it off quite well and made plans to move things into the boudoire. We went to dinner and then back to her house...things started heating up and i was down south doing some scouting for future reference...trying this and that, measuring responses...i finally hit on something she really liked and kept doing it. She starts bucking and i had to literally pin her hips down so i could continue. i did so by taking my forearm and placing it directly across her pelvis-hipbone to hipbone, horizontally...applying gentle but steady pressure...just kinda holding her down. i continued on with what i was doing and she continued to make happy puppy noises and everything was going swimmingly....until.... Suddenly, my mouth was filled with something...not quite right...and a lot of it. i paused to determine what this might be and once i figured out that it was urine...i was shellshocked.... Not wanting to offend, i tipped my head to the side and let the...stuff out of my mouth. But i just couldnt continue on my merry way. i decided that i was prolly going to be sick, so i got up suddenly and went to the bathroom. Once inside the bathroom i figured that i couldnt make any loud wretching sounds as the bath and bedrooms were sharing a wall...i still didnt want to offend her as i had no idea why she would have done that on purpose so it must have been an accident...seriously....kinky or not....who goes around non-consensually pissing in the new girls mouth?? It had to be an accident. Meanwhile, back at the ranch i still felt like i was going to hurl... i came back in and started getting dressed, siting that i had completely forgotten that i needed to pick up my anklebiter from the sitters by midnite and that i just had to go...so sorry...blahblahblah....i escaped and called my bestest friend who always kept his bar stocked and made arrangements to come over stat.... "Jonathan...do you have vodka?....good...do you have a spare toothbrush?...awesome...do you have antibacterial soap??....super duper....No i cant tell you why...just get that all together for me and ill be there shortly...." i had every intention of never telling him any of what had just happened. i was like 34 at the time and there is no excuse for not knowing that this could have been something done intentionally...what can i say, im sheltered. After 2 drinks and multiple cleansings...i did relent to telling him what had happened and he decided that he should edumicate me on certain aspects of watersports but he also stated firmly that its consensual and that my particular case was definitly not done right...if indeed that was her intent. i just listened and drank and once in a while out of the blue i would shudder and go brush my teeth again. It was a long nite. Next day, she called a few times and finally emailed me to apologise for not asking for my permission before she did that...i had planned to simply not respond until i got that email. Then i flipped the holyhell out and called her and blasted her....turns out, it wasnt me putting pressure on her bladder...it was her idea of a good first date. i call her the Urinator....and i hope i never see her again. shudder When i have a bad date or bad day at work, Jonathan usually says...well, how does it rate...better or worse than the Urinator...so far, she beats all the bad dates and bad days ive had since...which i should be grateful for. Just in case this story somehow impedes my search for the *ONE, i would like to state for the record that this happened like 6 years ago and i believe i got myself sterilized by now...shudders again* eyes lowered perse Wow...what a stupid bitch. Sorry that had to happen.

persephonee -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 8:08:49 AM)
"tanx"...i keep shuddering, but im recovering. im sorry that had to happen to me tooooo.

sirsholly -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 8:13:02 AM)
i think i would have used her toothbrush[>:]

persephonee -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 8:27:28 AM)
omg...if only i could go back in time....heyyy...nope, never ever again...shuddershuddershudder....hehe.

MadAxeman -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 11:51:39 AM)
*The phrase 'taking the piss' means taking a liberty* *It was a play on words...*

SteelofUtah -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 12:42:39 PM)
Okay Guys. Honest Question, How Many of you went ona Blind date from someone you met either On-Line or on a Chat Line (Party Line) and it turned out to be a Tranny? Happened to me. She was convincing too. Up untill she got aroused and then I re-inacted the shower scene from the Crying Game and couldn't make eye contact with the guys for like a month. Look let me make something clear, Transexuals can be very attractive, I have found myself attracted to them before, however if I am ever going to get physical with one it will be on MY terms NOT on thier lies. I have since then been educated that for every 10 or 20 straight guys they do this to it works on one of them. So maybe it's part of the thrill. Steel

MadAxeman -> RE: What's your worst hook-up ever? (10/2/2008 1:02:06 PM)
*You're The One - Paul Simon*

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125