julietsierra
Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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The thing that jumped out at me the most is that after your explanation he didn't jump right on the Daes Bandwagon and agree with you enthusiastically. Might that be the issue really at hand? It's kind of a natural reaction - both ways. The person hearing the explanation needs time to process what's been said. The very fact that in this case, the listener acknowledged the viewpoint he was hearing, even if it was with some discernable doubt, means that he's thinking about it, processing it and just might, eventually, come to see it as correct - for HIM. He also might see it as incorrect as he thinks things through. Then, he'll try his hand at this, get some experience under his belt and decide ultimately what is right for him.
The speaker, on the other hand, is naturally enthusiastic. She's been asked a question and given her answer. It is a natural reaction for a speaker, upon stating his or her passion, to want to have it accepted. Enthusiastically embraced would be even better. On the speaker's part, it takes patience and the understanding that when you're talking mindset changes and new ideas, acceptance isn't always going to be immediate. It takes awareness that if the listener is a responsible and intelligent person, he or she is going to take time to think through the ideas presented until they either accept or reject what they've heard. It also takes the awareness that it'll probably take even longer before that listener has done the work necessary to take ownership of what he or she has learned, and that that is most evident when the speaker can see the result in action - not just intellectual discourse.
In short, be patient... he's thinking about this! I don't know if this is true or not, but my Master says that men generally take longer than women to process relationship stuff like this, so be patient, and realize that if he's thinking, he's on the right track.
juliet
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RE: Can you relate? - 
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