Jeptha -> RE: Humiliation (9/30/2008 10:44:55 PM)
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My take on humiliation is that it is *not* supposed to make my partner feel bad. That isn't the object at all. The feeling off humiliation should not overshadow and overwhelm the knowledge that she is safe and loved. It is only with that foreknowledge firmly in place that she would feel safe enough to go there. What makes it hot is that she realizes, somewhere in the back of her mind, that I'm not really judging her; I'm getting off on it. Even though I conceal that fact, it is still evident to her because she knows me and we've discussed humiliation, I know a little about what her comfort zones are, and I've determined that she has interest in it. Not just some interest; if she doesn't have a genuine interest, it's not going to work for me, either, because, as I mentioned, it's not really supposed to be a negative thing, although it may wrapped up to appear like one. This is only my take on it; I don't want to appear as though I'm stating absolutes. That's how I have used it and enjoyed it in the past. It is a little tricky to understand and explain, and I'm not sure if I'm explaining it well at all - not feeling very verbally adept tonight! It's been fun to try and think about, though.
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