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How is my profile? - 9/30/2008 9:55:52 PM

vyuiop

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/30/2008
Status: offline

I am new here... and was just wondering if any dommes could give me their opinion on my profile? From the perspective of a domme, how is it? How might it be improved?

Also, there is one issue with my profile that i have that i believe would make more sense to describe by CMail... so it would be good to CMail me about that.

Thank you very much for anyone who may take a moment to do this!

< Message edited by vyuiop -- 9/30/2008 10:38:46 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: How is my profile? - 9/30/2008 10:09:41 PM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

In my opinion, you need the following:

1. More information about your vanilla interests (hobbies, music, what have you.)

2. More information about what you offer as a submissive (good cook? cleaning whiz? genius with a pedicure ? tell a good joke?)

3. A picture. Even if it doesn't include your face, a picture gives people a general idea of what you look like. I personally don't respond to emails without a picture.

Hope this helps.

(in reply to vyuiop)

Post #: 2

RE: How is my profile? - 9/30/2008 10:17:56 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Picture is totally a plus. My only search criteria is that they have a picture up. And if someone is to contact me, they better have a picture ready.

I really couldn't stand reading your profile. All the lower case I BS and the capital Woman and She and blah blah. My eyes are not fixed to understand BDSM grammar protocol nonsense so I always skip over any profile or post that sounds like that. Y/you G/get I/it?

But if whatever woman who wants you like it, more power to her. But that and the lack of pictures was a huge turn off. As said, nothing really about you as a person. The whole profile focuses on being submissive. Ok, and? What do you do when you're mind isn't on BDSM? What do you have to offer? Do you live alone? Have a job? Able to travel if the woman lives a lil further away (ie a car.) Any skills around the house? Any skills in general? A funny joke maybe? SOMETHING that makes your profile stand out from all the other wankers. Being on your knees ready to submit with few limits? Yawn, that's nice. But how many other profiles are EXACTLY like that? Too many.

(in reply to LaMistressa)

Post #: 3

RE: How is my profile? - 9/30/2008 10:20:14 PM

vyuiop

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/30/2008
Status: offline

It has been expanded it a bit in the past few minutes... not sure if you've seen it since i have.

I have added a few things to what I offer, would I come off as a wanker if I said that every woman I have been with said I gave great oral sex? That is one of my concerns- although as I understand it, that's something that many dommes would see as a positive. To me, it is just another service that can be provided (or not) at the pleasure of the woman i am serving.

Pretty soon, I intend to get a a good pic that doesn't show my face and isn't too distinctive. There are many people I know in real life for whom it would not be for the best if they knew i had an interest in D/s, though- and all the pics I can find of me show either my face or the faces of some of my friends.

Thanks again for the feedback!

< Message edited by vyuiop -- 9/30/2008 10:41:09 PM >

(in reply to LaMistressa)

Post #: 4

RE: How is my profile? - 9/30/2008 10:31:00 PM

vyuiop

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

Picture is totally a plus. My only search criteria is that they have a picture up. And if someone is to contact me, they better have a picture ready.

I really couldn't stand reading your profile. All the lower case I BS and the capital Woman and She and blah blah. My eyes are not fixed to understand BDSM grammar protocol nonsense so I always skip over any profile or post that sounds like that. Y/you G/get I/it?

But if whatever woman who wants you like it, more power to her. But that and the lack of pictures was a huge turn off. As said, nothing really about you as a person. The whole profile focuses on being submissive. Ok, and? What do you do when you're mind isn't on BDSM? What do you have to offer? Do you live alone? Have a job? Able to travel if the woman lives a lil further away (ie a car.) Any skills around the house? Any skills in general? A funny joke maybe? SOMETHING that makes your profile stand out from all the other wankers. Being on your knees ready to submit with few limits? Yawn, that's nice. But how many other profiles are EXACTLY like that? Too many.

I thought the lowercase thing was standard? Oh well, now I know and have fixed that. Shows that I'm new to the scene and just trying to dip my toe in it, I suppose.

Adding in some of the info that you've suggested as I type this- will figure out how to work the rest in later. Thanks again!

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 5

RE: How is my profile? - 9/30/2008 10:44:18 PM

UmbraDomina

Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline

The picture is NOT that important. I prefer no dicks, arses, bondage, strap on's butt plugs ect. I prefer a personality, tell me what you ticks, tell me what you like to do ( NOT just fetish wise) tell me what kind of music you like, tell me your favorite food, tell me a funny joke, tell me where you would like to be in the future, tell the books you like to read....... Do NOT just give me a list of what you want done to you, or what your kinks are. Let me get to know you, all of you. I would rather know about your IQ then your dick size. Treat me like a woman, who you desire, and want to spend time with not just when I am in latex, with a whip.
just my .2 cents

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to vyuiop)

Post #: 6

RE: How is my profile? - 9/30/2008 11:07:21 PM

vyuiop

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

The picture is NOT that important. I prefer no dicks, arses, bondage, strap on's butt plugs ect. I prefer a personality, tell me what you ticks, tell me what you like to do ( NOT just fetish wise) tell me what kind of music you like, tell me your favorite food, tell me a funny joke, tell me where you would like to be in the future, tell the books you like to read....... Do NOT just give me a list of what you want done to you, or what your kinks are. Let me get to know you, all of you. I would rather know about your IQ then your dick size. Treat me like a woman, who you desire, and want to spend time with not just when I am in latex, with a whip.
just my .2 cents

So I started my profile with one of my favorite jokes. And the way it works out, the joke is in my headline and the punchline isn't- meaning you actually have to read my profile to see it. How ironic!

It's about 2AM here... getting a bit tired to really organize my thoughts. I still hope what I've thrown up there tonight is an improvement, though. (Regarding interests- thanks to those who suggested elaborating on them, I thought the drop-down menus that give you the "Lives for/Loves/Likes, etc." lists were sufficient in that regard.

(in reply to UmbraDomina)

Post #: 7

RE: How is my profile? - 10/1/2008 12:42:49 AM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: vyuiop
I thought the lowercase thing was standard? Oh well, now I know and have fixed that. Shows that I'm new to the scene and just trying to dip my toe in it, I suppose.

Adding in some of the info that you've suggested as I type this- will figure out how to work the rest in later. Thanks again!

First thing to learn; there is no standard. Do it if YOU like to do it, not because you think it's the hip BDSM thing to do. Now, maybe you'll start a relationship with a woman who wants you to do it; who knows. But until then only type that way if it's honestly what the way you want to do it, not because you think it's a standard.

Liked the joke you stuck in there, women love humor!

(in reply to vyuiop)

Post #: 8

RE: How is my profile? - 10/1/2008 7:01:33 AM

khem

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

On the oral sex thing - Men who claim they are great at oral sex are a dime a dozen. Someone who puts that in their profile just isn't appealing to me.

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 9

RE: How is my profile? - 10/1/2008 7:01:38 AM

sillyslaveboy

Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMistressa
1. More information about your vanilla interests (hobbies, music, what have you.)
2. More information about what you offer as a submissive (good cook? cleaning whiz? genius with a pedicure ? tell a good joke?)

Eh... other interests (in my case i refuse to call them 'vanilla', since such a thing doesn't exist for me :) ) are the biggest worry of those s's who would have something, say, extraordinary to show off. If i put the stuff connected with me even in no-names form, many people who know me and just stumble on that profile (in image addition) will easily point at me. i can't do it. And to put just 'usual' stuff after being cut for that much is just depressing. Now i did make a try to put some stuff in less-exposing form, so if Anybody would take a look, i'd appreciate the thought on how it sounds now. :)

And why can't i let my ID be revealted? Eh, i am moving between Belgrade and Sofia areas. The places where you can end up dead for the other 'sins' i listed. :)

< Message edited by sillyslaveboy -- 10/1/2008 7:11:30 AM >

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codename: ********

(in reply to LaMistressa)

Post #: 10

RE: How is my profile? - 10/1/2008 8:07:15 AM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: vyuiop

I am new here... and was just wondering if any dommes could give me their opinion on my profile?

Your profile stands out in a positive way. You show a solid understanding of what submission mean to you and you differentiate yourself from someone looking to be serviced as a bottom, e.g., "Submission to me means: doing whatever the woman wants with as few limits as possible. My kinky interests are irrelevant in that, except ..." and "As for skills... I can clean pretty well, have been told i can do a very good job of cheering people up, (especially if they like my humor- which does not click with everyone) and would be willing to learn just about any skill to please a Domme in a committed relationship. "

You come across as easygoing, open to but not preoccupied with finding a D/s match, e.g., "Would love to meet some people here with common interests and such, and maybe I'll even meet that woman here that I can submit to fully ;)."

You let people know you have some depth and humanness to you, e.g., "I also hope to meet people with whom I can have deep discussions... who appreciate my idiotic, and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor... who appreciate my sensitivity and emotions... who can show me new experiences, both vanilla and BDSM (my "curious about" list is a great place to start in that regard...) to help me to grow as a person and whom i can help grow as a person. (Although I do need to be nurtured somewhat.)" and "What makes me tick?....." and "In my spare time, I love to read... " and "Only like classical music" and "Love Mexican food" .

Don't obsess with using or not using capitalization. If you do, it is a small gesture which shows you're mindful of and care about protocol. If you don't use capitalization, that's okay too. Not a big deal.

I would post a photograph, however; you will receive much more responses.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to vyuiop)

Post #: 11

RE: How is my profile? - 10/1/2008 3:10:42 PM

vyuiop

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/30/2008
Status: offline

Thanks again for the feedback! Unfortunately, being too specific about myself is not really an option for me... being "outed" as having BDSM interests (would that term be used in my case even?) would be very, very bad for me; some such people already suspect that I may have non-vanilla interests. (This was the issue that I mentioned in my first post that I was saying it would be better for me to discuss by CMail.)

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 12

RE: How is my profile? - 10/1/2008 4:55:27 PM

tweedydaddy

Posts: 673
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

no picture, no hope.

(in reply to vyuiop)

Post #: 13

RE: How is my profile? - 10/2/2008 6:40:52 AM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

in my opinion, you've taken to heart everything people have told to do you aside from uploading a photograph, and as a result your profile now looks more like a completed questionnaire executed in madlibs style... [insert joke here] [name of musician here] ...than a piece of writing dedicated to telling those you seek, what you want them to know they can find in you.

my advice is to upload a photograph, and make it tasteful. you don't have to show your face in your profile pic, you don't have to wear a thong and strike-a-pose, you don't need to be bound in it, you don't need to show off your 'toys', or anything else of the sort. what you need is to give incentive to those looking. most people sort their homepage to display profiles with photographs only, but beyond that, providing a photograph can increase how trustworthy and 'real' you appear, as well as making your impression have much more impact to those who venture by your profile; it will greatly help to catch their eyes. you need something to pull the glances of people; all anyone can see is your name and some text, which of course has very little if any real stopping power. it's pretty much a simple fact, if you can't get people to stop and look at your profile... well, it's not going to make much difference what you write if no one pauses to take notice and read it.

honestly, you like so many others without a picture convey you have something to hide, which is indeed the case, but you don't have to forfeit your secret alter ego identity just because you provide a visual to lead people's eyes to the text in your profile. i could probably take a picture of my hands and it would be more well received, convey more emotion, meaning, and end up striking more people's curiosity and getting a higher positive response than half the pictures on this site do.

what i would stress the most is to tell people 'what you want them to know', not simply telling them 'what they want to hear'. if you believe oral sex is of great importance to you say so, if you believe women are going to line up to take the pepsi challenge just because you say 9 out of 10 participants say your tongue beats the competition, omit it, it's a foolhardy notion. there's probably a way to confess any desire in existence without sounding like a wanker, the key is in approach. one approach will sound intimate, passionate, sensual and sincere, and one will sound like 'oh baby do me' which sounds just about like every other guy on here that women won't give a second glance to.

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 10/2/2008 6:49:58 AM >

_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

(in reply to vyuiop)

Post #: 14

RE: How is my profile? - 10/2/2008 6:47:31 AM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Excellent advice.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 15

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