Introspection

Introspection (Full Version)

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MasterFireMaam -> Introspection (10/1/2008 12:04:59 AM)
We hear a lot about how Masters guide their slave and encourage or even order them to do introspection activities like journaling. I'd like to know what the Masters do as THEIR introspection? What process do you go through to analyze yourself, makes changes and improve? Master Fire

Focus50 -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 3:22:31 AM)
I wouldn't say I purposely devote time to personal introspection so much as it generally takes care of itself on a day to day basis.... I'm your average, decent law abiding citizen who has principles, a conscience and a strong sense of right & wrong. And when I don't get it right, the "stare" that often puts the wind up my girl is there greeting me in full force right in the nearest mirror - and that reflection can be a real bastard to live with so I try to avoid pissing him off...! lol Focus.

leadership527 -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 5:34:45 AM)
LOL Focus. Well said.

Padriag -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 6:13:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam We hear a lot about how Masters guide their slave and encourage or even order them to do introspection activities like journaling. I'd like to know what the Masters do as THEIR introspection? What process do you go through to analyze yourself, makes changes and improve? I keep a journal and have for years. I use it to record important events in my life, what I was thinking, decisions I made, etc. I also use it for self examination. At times I'll write an essay on something I'm wrestling with, just as a means of externalizing a problem and processing it... a way to "distance" myself from it enough to give me a clearer perspective. I also do "reviews" of past successes and mistakes from time to time, to help me better understand why I succeeded or failed. Often such reviews are just me taking some quiet time alone somewhere, turning the phone off, and thinking, talking out loud (it helps me externalize my thoughts), and re-examining my choices until I feel I have a better understanding of what happened and why. There are some books I read to help me as well, either because I feel they offer good advice, or good examples, or inspiration.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 7:47:37 AM)
I tend to be a very "evaluative" kind of person. Some folks would call it 'judgmental', which is probably accurate (I am a Meyers-Briggs INTJ), but for me, rather than being a process by which I evaluate others, being 'judgemental' means constantly evaluating my experience in terms of what it is evoking... the questions it brings up, the opportunities it may represent, the potentials I see developing, and the steps I need to take to make sure I don't wander too far from the 'essential self' I've managed to scrape free of its layers of social "cement"... as well as trying to have a feel for how much seems to still need to be dug out and 'exposed'. I'm not so big, I think, on judging others journeys unless they specifically ask for my input. The older I get, the more I realize that other people really don't flourish when their journey is determined for them... it is the struggle to define one's path that makes the journey both challenging and worthwhile (and, at least for me, the only way that I know that I am on -my- journey, and not someone else's planned journey that they prefer for me). I don't journal. I don't know -why-, except that, for me, it actually seems to block the free flow of ideas running through my brain. I do, however, scribble in the margins of books, evaluate ideas in writing in response to other people's input, and write fictional stories that mark my current progress on my journey through the psychosocial decision processes of my characters. I also talk, a lot, and listen, a lot -- I find that discussing things in and around others provides perspective, which is often really difficult to obtain solely through introspection, since I know that I am biased and may ignore data just because it doesn't suit the particular preconception I'm hung up on at this moment. Calla Firestorm

Ialdabaoth -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 9:43:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam We hear a lot about how Masters guide their slave and encourage or even order them to do introspection activities like journaling. I'd like to know what the Masters do as THEIR introspection? What process do you go through to analyze yourself, makes changes and improve? Master Fire I have a control loop that works something like this: Step 1 - identify an emotional need. This is usually a pretty simple process; I just notice something that I want or something that I feel is missing; something that would make me happy or something that is currently making me unhappy. Step 2 - clarify the need. This is where the process can start to get tricky. I think and meditate about the feelings I have, and imagine different possible scenarios, then examine how I feel about those scenarios. The scenarios that I feel good about, I follow up further, and extend them to imagine all the work and effort that is likely to be required to achieve those scenarios. If there's a piece I don't understand, a gap in my knowledge that prevents me from properly imagining and understanding the scenario, then I seek out the advice of others to clarify precisely how the part I'm missing works. This can take weeks to months, assuming the cooperation of others. Step 3 - dialog. Here I run my ideas by a circle of my peers, in the hopes that they can help me clarify and refine them. This part of my life has been woefully lacking of late, but generally I need a good amount of healthy back-and-forth discussion to really hone in on my desires and their consequences. Step 4 - goal-formation. I rank my desired scenarios based on energy expenditure and likelihood of success, and then pick one or more that I want to accomplish. These become 'goals' and are integrated into my lifestyle choices. Step 5 - analysis As goals are completed, I analyze the results and compare them to my original imagined outcomes. I explore any discrepencies and re-incorporate them into my decision making process. If there's a piece I don't understand, a gap in my knowledge that prevents me from properly analyzing and understanding the outcome, then I seek out the advice of others to clarify precisely how the part I'm missing works. This can take weeks to months, assuming the cooperation of others. Step 6 - feedback I poll my peer group to see if there's anything I missed about my goals, in the hopes that they can help me clarify and refine them. This part of my life has been woefully lacking of late, but generally I need a good amount of healthy back-and-forth discussion to really hone in on my goal-oriented processes. And then, when I get to the bottom, I go back to the top of the slide where I stop and turn and go for a ride, till I get to the bottom and I see you again. Does all this make sense?

SimplyMichael -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 10:47:18 AM)
Just like I pay intense attention to a partner, I pay that same attention to myself but from a different internal place. I have nurtured what is called an "inner observer" a sort of mini-me that sits on my shoulder watching for things that signal there is something underlying a reaction I need to look at. That motherfucker has been working his ass off for the last six months and won't give me a moments peace too! Essentially, when I react strongly to something, or I should say my reaction is out of proportion, it sort of "look" deep into my brain for traces of what is REALLY causing that reaction. Sort of like an internal NCIS detective looking for evidence of why something seems like a trigger to me. Some action of a partner rubs me the wrong way but I react VERY strongly to it might indicate that I am projecting some past issue onto them for example. Or that inner observer says "gee dude, can't you see your doing/not doing X is a pattern? and then we have to go digging for WHY that is a pattern. Or the really irritating one of "your actions aren't lining up with your words, whats going on there" is a really fun one. I like strong independent women (or so I say) and yet those women often want to be well, strong and independent! That triggers insecurities and so I have to go digging into the WHAT of that insecurity. Is it because I truly need them to do or not do some action or is it simply because I don't trust them, or is it because I don't think I am a bright enough candle to attract them back if I let them fly away for a moment? However, as irritating as all that is, it is that unabashed effect to look at myself honestly that has moved me down the path of being a scared little boy into a rather charming, if arrogant, man.

FRSguy -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 11:50:00 AM)
I actually have a personal blog that keep on a usb memory stick. Its set up like a whole web site and could be easily published however like I said its on a stick. It opens up in explorer just like a real web site and you cant tell the difference. With that kind of privacy its a complete diary with photos comments even copied and pasted new articles. What works for me is a general self check questionair done about once every 6 months. Fill in the blanks of those questions that deal with personal and political emotions... then they are compared. If something changes I evaluate why. I mostly keep track of the basic love and hate. What do I hate and why? When I start getting pissy about the world around me it means to me that something is going astray. The site on a stick thing though compleatly kicks ass. I am not bound by any kind of copywrites and its compleatly portable. I would actually recomend that any Dom that is into Tech and has a sub that they make blog should set up there own server at home at make them blog out to a private home computer that is protected or only accepts connections from specific IP's. The software to do all this is very easy to set up and its free especially if you have an old computer that was replaced that your not using.

Padriag -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 12:29:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael However, as irritating as all that is, it is that unabashed effect to look at myself honestly that has moved me down the path of being a scared little boy into a rather charming, if arrogant, man. And that, is probably the most important journey any dominant or leader (have they ever really been that far apart?) must take if they want to be any good at it.

NorthernGent -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 2:11:32 PM)
I'm far from obsessive about it......between you and I, I'm quite fond of myself.....but.... I work nigh on 55 hours a week, I like a beer, I exercise 5 or 6 days a week for 2 hours at a time...........which means I have a limited amount of time to learn.....which means I readily accept that my opinions are limited by my knowledge.....I don't look for confirmation of my views; on the contrary, I expect them to be superceded as I read. This doesn't mean I'm easily persuaded, but there's always someone bigger and hungrier out there. So, reading and a belief that ideas and perceptions are open to change, helps in this regard. In addition, I always take some time to question whether or not I'm doing myself any favours......there's no process as such, just a chat with myself over a coffee or beer......once I've worked out where I'm lacking, I put a spot of correction into practice and make mental notes on the results.

MadRabbit -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 7:01:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Just like I pay intense attention to a partner, I pay that same attention to myself but from a different internal place. I have nurtured what is called an "inner observer" a sort of mini-me that sits on my shoulder watching for things that signal there is something underlying a reaction I need to look at. That motherfucker has been working his ass off for the last six months and won't give me a moments peace too! I have the same thing as Michael. The change from being a self defeating, self destructive, out of control teenager who was too ego-blinded to listen to anyone or himself happened purely by random chance. I had a very powerful, life altering experience where I very painfully got to see myself for what I trully was as opposed to what I wanted to see myself as. It sucked ass, but at that moment, I became self aware. It wasn't until a year later with increased education and knowledge that I realized how really lucky I was to have that experience and what direction my life and my self could have gone if I hadn't. Introspection and the growth and increased conciousness that comes from that is basically three parts to me. 1. I have the internal observer like Michael does. 2. I listen to the thoughts in the back of my mind that come from the unconcious as opposed to solely the rationalizations from my ego. They are right usually about 95% of the time. 3. I use other people's opinions and judgements as information that I give consideration to as opposed to just dismissing, because they are how I have found my blind spots.

Huntertn -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 7:55:37 PM)
I have a mental yardstick..that I apply to most of what I do..I've had good teachers in my life and quite a few not so good..you learn from the all and then apply it..and you also apply it to the ones you use/love/own

KnightofMists -> RE: Introspection (10/1/2008 9:13:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam I'd like to know what the Masters do as THEIR introspection? What process do you go through to analyze yourself, makes changes and improve? I don't have a formal process that I need to go through to have my introspective moments. It's more a mindset than a process. meaning... that it is just a part of my personality and the way I approach my life. Like the scientist that is always ask "why" this or "why" that. I am looking at myself and who I am and results of my actions as compared to the desired results on rather continual basis. I am always evolving and changing..... it's rather incredible... particularly since who I was yesterday is rather foreign to me. Who I am now is all that I know... and with each step.... I am in a different now... what the nows are in the future... I can only say when I am there. Until then... I seek to know myself now ... its is just the way I am living my life.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Introspection (10/2/2008 12:00:57 AM)
Thanks for all the answers and for sharing. What I'm hearing, overall, is that most have a continuous (or almost continuous) "testing" mode going on in their head. Most keep track of it mentally, some keep track in writing.Would you agree? So, next question: What happens if you get off track? Master Fire

Padriag -> RE: Introspection (10/2/2008 4:34:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Would you agree? Aye quote: So, next question: What happens if you get off track? It happens. What corrects it is partly that genuine desire to be better and to improve one's self... combined with a willingness to embrace painful truths rather than comfortable lies.

Madame4a -> RE: Introspection (10/2/2008 6:19:54 AM)
I don't have any formal process but its a constant for me. I pride myself on being self aware and taking responsibility for my behavior. When something goes wrong, in general, or in a relationship, I'm first to look inside and see what part of my actions were at fault -- and make corrections. I tend to be more introspective when things go wrong. Its definitely a continuous and almost daily process, with correction made along the way as necessary. Its also very important to me.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Introspection (10/2/2008 7:39:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam So, next question: What happens if you get off track? Master Fire I am chaotic by nature -- so my "track" is more like a game-trail created by a herd of blind, deaf vampire bunnies. In some ways, that makes the journey so very interesting, but it can also make it difficult to figure out when I've slipped off the track and into "tangent land". Usually, my introspection on these occasions is more about "Where am I?" than it is about "How do I get back/get out of here?" Truthfully, my general inclination when I step off a pre-planned track is not to figure out how to get back... at least not right away. For me, I'm more likely to try to figure out what it was that drew me in this unexpected direction. Then, I ask myself if I'm -happy- where I am. If it's making me miserable, and I don't see myself growing from the experience (and you'd be surprised what I've figured out that I can grow from LOL), I'm likely to look at what my next 'planned' goal was and try to figure out "how to get there from here". If I'm learning something, or my curiosity is still piqued, or if I'm feeling stubborn about getting through some challenge the detour has morphed into, I'll stay and enjoy the ride and see where I come out on the far end. I have a few things I'd really like to do with my life, but they're big enough that I'm likely to run into them from any of a million or more directions, and many of them actually -improve- from my 'vampire bunny' path, so for me, I am as likely to see where the new road goes as I am to get "back on track", so to speak. Calla Firestorm

FRSguy -> RE: Introspection (10/2/2008 11:21:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam So, next question: What happens if you get off track? Master Fire Great question! First I look at my personal habits because they are quick indicator of what’s going on. I look at things like how much money I am spending on cigarettes & alcohol, have I done any other illicit drugs and if so when because lets say I smoke a joint one evening or at a party or something then I know for instance for the next four days I will have the blahs so that stuff I like to avoid. I look at sleep and work as well as sexual patterns. For instance, lets say I work less at home, increase the amount of sex I am having and at the same time start getting extremely creative sexually then I know its work related stress. If sex decreases and work increases in hours and performance then I know its relationship stress. I try to avoid stress by placing things aside that has to be accomplished so I then force myself to balance things out. I do this partially by going back through my notes and journal. I try to avoid looking at the future or past and deal sticky with the here and now and what is the worst that can happen kind of thing. In an extreme situation something will happen that really clashes with my values. This rarely happens but seems to occur once every several years. When something like that occurs and I have to do some inner searching then there is a place of mediation that I go to on the east coast where I isolate myself from the rest of the world until I figure shit out but that has only happened maybe three times in my life. When I cant isolate myself I actually stop eating completely until the problem is resolved. The idea behind it is simple, most inner turmoil problems for me are really just major changes in life when I have to choose what is best between to evils and are not life threatening in essence I create a slow life threatening situation where the only way out is a resolution to the problem. In that instance its better to resolve the problem than starve….lol. Works every time.

KnightofMists -> RE: Introspection (10/2/2008 5:20:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam So, next question: What happens if you get off track? I start to feel dissatisfied with the way things are..... which almost instinctively causes me ask myself why I am feel that way... which would appear to put me off track.... but truth is... I am not off track or ever off track.... I am exactly where my choices has lead me... and it's my choices that will lead me further down my track.

tweedydaddy -> RE: Introspection (10/2/2008 5:25:59 PM)
I often run through my thoughts about things I've done and conversations I've had.. I talk it over with the Ladies from Hades, my dogs, they tell no one. Dogs are good like that.

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