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General Profile Questions - 10/1/2008 3:07:45 PM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

Hello All,

First, please understand that I am not seeking help with my profile. I am collared; consequently, I am not in "search mode." Frankly, I am pleased with the results of mine! [:-D]

Every so often, though, someone posts for help with a profile. The responses are interesting but rather narrow as they seem to apply that particular profile. So, I have some general questions. To Wit:

PICTURES; I conceede the importance of photos. What do you look for in them..? Tuxedos..? Good looks..? The mood they convey? A constant theme in these discussions is, "No cock photos!"
What's up with that? Doesn't anybody like roosters?

SEEKING; Do you treat these as guidelines or gospel? What I mean here is this. If I said that I am seeking woman 5'9" tall (perfect dancing height for me) do women 5'8"and under or 5'10" and over blow right on by? Or, might you say, Hey! 4'11" is close enough!"?

VANILLA INTERESTS; I can see this being important if you are looking for a relationship. For a casual situation...? Do these interests have to be congruent with your's or are you looking for ones that expand your horizons. Personally, I am into skiing, reading (history mostly), skiing, dancing, shooting and skiing (after all.... ). If you wern't interested in at least trying to ski that might be a problem. If you like scuba diving or flying, I could be persuaded to share in your hobby (cock fighting... not so much... what is it with roosters?).

SKILLS; Okay, I would not say I am good at oral sex (I like to do it, but would not claim to be good at it). I know, I know, guys like me are a nickle a dozen let alone a dime. Seriously though, how important are skills. What skills do you look for? Do you really care that I am (for a guy East of Interstate 25) pretty good with a chain saw? I build a mean log cabin too....

HUMOR; This is so subjective. What's funny to you might insult the next person. I conceede the necessity of being able to laugh. Not taking your self too seriously might also be an attractive quality. When does it cross over into being flipant? By the way... The turn-offs that I list in my profile are not (repeat not) an attempt at humor (best saved for a long story by a camp fire).

OTHER CATEGORIES; What else is improtant to you?

i hope that this generates a lot of edifying responces from all of YOU Glorious, Beautiful, Goddess Like, Peachy Keen MISTRESSES! See, I can mis-use capitals and lower case letters as good as any man.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

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RE: General Profile Questions - 10/1/2008 3:38:35 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Cute post - lots of tongue and cheek and roosters - LOL.

If I am looking at someone's profile I would ideally like to see a photo of their face. I like to see the expression, try to look into the eyes, and get a feel for a person.

If someone lists interests I prefer hearing the feeling that they are looking for rather than body type specifics. I'm short, I don't do high heels, I am the age I am and can't change that. I would much rather read that someone is looking to submit to one that they can trust because it is the only way they will feel truly fulfilled than find out they only want a Barbie doll in latex with 6" heels.

I don't seek people who are in a committed and happy relationship, though I may drop them a friendly email. There are more than enough unattached subs to choose from.

If they want to attempt to be humorous, let them. If it falls flat that still tells you something about them. : )

What I like best in a profile is when someone shows respect for the lifestyle and for the ones that they are hoping to attract. I like to see something that is personal enough that sets them apart from the crowd. I don't want someone to tell me that they give great head because they could be wrong. I see that as bragging and not in the least bit submissive. However, if they say that they truly enjoy giving head and would like a chance to prove themselves it would be a whole different story.

I help a lot of people with their profiles. I try to get them to speak from their hearts, never write a wish list of everything that they want done to them with no concern for the other party, and to mix in vanilla interests so that someone can converse with them about something other than what they would like to have happen in a session. I would much rather have someone look at my profile and say, "I see you love singing" rather than, "can I kiss your feet?"

_____________________________

(in reply to SnowRanger)

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RE: General Profile Questions - 10/1/2008 3:47:45 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I always look at the picture first. A simple smiling face can tell a lot and attract a lot. Photos with people not showing their face say they have something to hide for whatever reason. Photos with other people in them (particularly women) are a huge negative. If you're looking for a partner why show off pictures with other people? PLUS did those people conset to have their face on a BDSM site? Also, people who post picture after picture showing off their gear or dungeons bore me. A couple, yeah but if I want to know about those things I'll ask; I don't need a rull guided tour on your profile. And pictures with not even you in them! Like some dommes will post a picture of her sub in their profile and nothing else. Umm...ok but I'm not trying to respond to your sub, I'm probably trying to respond to you.

Next I look for grammar and the general feel of the profile. Lower case i and Y/you bullshit makes me not want to keep reading. Sub profiles that go one how their life is meaningless without an owner make me gag. And any profile going on and on about how he wants a "goddess" since I do not want to be treated as such. Any dom profile that sounds like he has some high and mighty attitude; ie so many years of experience blah blah. And any domme profile that comes off bitchy or wanting money, all ignored.

Then the actual real context. Of course humor is in the eye of the beholder as is beauty but hey, if someone at leasts attempts to be funny it's a plus. Non-BDSM interests, I usually look for ones that show signs of brains and an open mind. Reading, writing, sports, comptuers, whatever. If they click with mine even more of a plus. Skills, I'm not really looking for a 24/7 live in slave so I don't need anyone that skilled. Maybe someone who can drive me around, who knows. I haven't had enough personal experience to know what sort of skills I'd want in a sub; other than to be able to take some pain!

What they seek? Well if it doesn't sound like I'd fit the bill then I just keep looking. Some profiles are pretty specific about what they want, some aren't. Now when they go on and on about all their fetish needs then I get turned off. I can see their fetish on the side of your profile. Now if you want to mention some of your more important fetishes/fantasies that's ok. But some profiles are NOTHING but this. Big no-no in my book.

(in reply to SnowRanger)

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RE: General Profile Questions - 10/1/2008 4:17:52 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I look for a sign that they see me as a person and present themselves as a person first and foremost. I have no specific submissive mold that I have created in my mind as 'the perfect one' and I don't wish to be put into a mold. I like people of all types. Some get my attention with humor or intellegence or just an over-all-realness quality to how they present themselves. I look for friends or a man who will be comfortable with me, by first being comfortable with themself.

Kink and interest come later. I might discuss them to a point to see if there is a serious difference between us, but all that comes after I find some other basis for getting to know them. As for skills... they can be learned. As long as they have life skills, I am all good.

Having had relationships with different types of people, I try to keep an open mind and just wish to get to know them. If there are red flags such as a lot of self focus or sexual talk... I tend to pass. If a picture is tastefully done and not overly... hey... look at me... I have a cock... or a butt... I am okay, but I prefere a face shot. Bathroom pictures make me think they have a little woman they are hidding from... seen with a dominant... well no thank you, she could still be there and pictures with others tend to make me wonder if they respected their friends when they posted the picture.

A couple red flags for me are the words... training and punishment. I would think a man of an age to be on this site, ought to have some life training and if he needs punishment, I tend to say... you need a mommy, not a domme. (not to diss that dynamic because it is a great one in many ways, but I don't need a guy I need to monitor like a teen or who lacks common sense and control) If one says they wish to be trained to my needs, that is okay... but that in-general training stuff... no thank you!

(in reply to Usako)

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